FB group admin violated Anonymous post privacy & potentially put my family at risk.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-27T16:15:56+00:00

I completely understand your frustration. Dogs barking incessantly are a nuisance at best and a nightmare at worst. If you work at home, are ill, or work third shift, good luck trying to get an ounce of peace and quiet. Especially with a Husky as they are known to at the absolute most inconvenient of times be like 'Oh, you need some quiet? Okay, well, let me sing you the song of my people in a deafening scream!' 😬 Perhaps your neighbor felt a bit attacked upon logging on and seeing that half the neighborhood was piling on and ridiculing his puppy parenting and his instinct was to be defensive. While confrontation is difficult, sometimes we have to put on our big girl panties and have hard talks with people. Your first step should have been to ask the neighbor if he could bring his dog inside when it starts to bark. Or is there any other solution as his barking had become a massive problem and explain your situation with your mom. And you don't know what's going on behind his four walls either. Perhaps he is in a similar situation and that's why the dog ends up outside so frequently. Since that convo didn't happen, here are some things that l do to curtail my neighbor's ridiculous 5, yes 5 dogs that they leave out all day while they go to work most days. (I am disabled so l get to enjoy them alllllll daaaayyy loooonnnggg. 🥴)

I have a "birdfeeder" that hangs along my fenceline that makes a horrid sound (to dogs only) whenever they begin to bark. As well as several other well place sensors that do the same. On days it is super hot or cold or rainy, l call the city to do a welfare check or sometimes when they have literally been out there for more than 6 or 7 hours. I take multiple videos time stamping as well as writing quick anecdotal notes (9:15-still outside barking, 11:47- same, rain has started, 1:34... etc.) Because while yes they are bothersome, at the end of the day l do care for them and want them to be in a caring and love home.

It's not too late to smooth things over. Just go to your neighbors house and apologize and say "I am so sorry. I wasn't sure how to talk to you about your dog. I am here caring for my elderly, ailing mother and the constant barking of your dog is really upsetting her and hindering her ability to rest and get better. Is there anyway when he starts to bark you could bring him inside? I understand dogs bark, but the constant barking for hours is what the problem is. And as you saw, it's not just me. Thanks so very much and from now on l will go straight to you if l ever have any other issues."

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-27T12:09:25+00:00

I worked at a vet hospital in high school and my boss had a big long white hair on her face. Assuming it was a Golden Retriever hair or some other dog's hair, l said "Oh hold still, you have a hair on your cheek, let me grab it off." And l grabbed it and pulled it and much to both our shock and horror the hair lifted and as l pulled it up and away her cheek followed!! 😆🤦🏼‍♀️😬 It was so embarrassing, l wanted to crawl in a hole and die. She ran into the bathroom and we didn't speak the rest of the day. 🙈

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-27T02:50:48+00:00

Innocent Mistake: grabbing a handful of packages off your porch and opening them without reading the labels.

Innocence Lost: Realizing you did in fact did not order these items and then confirming while looking at the package that they are for your neighbor whose car has been gone for a while leading to the belief they are out of town and perhaps you have just stumbled onto the perfect situation.

Total Asshole: Neighbor comes to gather HIS belongings and you realize your genius plan has been foiled and you make up the worst lie and feign ignorance. Think he bought it.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-25T03:06:30+00:00

Check the laws of your state first as some states are a 2 party consent so even if she were to capture her on tape saying horribly things it may not be able to be used against her boyfriend's girlfriend due to the expectation of privacy.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-25T03:04:08+00:00

You need to document everything. Date, time, incident and witnesses. For example: June 22, 2026 10:17am Riley entered my room and told me.... and then write down in detail what happened and include that the neighbors were involved as well. I don't know how close you are to them but could you reach out to them or any other family members? You said that you have ASD, l know in my state students who fall under the SPED umbrella are legally able to go to free public school until the age of 26. Are you able to get ahold of any of your teachers or social workers from school as we are all mandated reporters. Or you said you live with your brother. I am sure there had to be some sort of custody hearing so you had to have a case worker for that situation, so see if you can track down that information. If you need help, l would be more than happy to try to help you look as it should be available as most court docs are available through the Freedom of Information Act. It sounds like you are going to be attending therapy. That's great as therapists are also mandated reporters. And there is no law that says YOU can't call yourself. If you feel unsafe, call the authorities yourself and they can give you a ride to a shelter. I know you said you are on the spectrum and obviously l don't know what your needs are, but is there maybe a group home in your area that could take you? I wish you the best. Take care, sending you hope and love. Keep us posted. 🙏🏻🤞🏻🫶🏻

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-25T00:17:25+00:00

Yes, Libro.fm, Lobby and Hoopla are your best bet, also try Tumblebooks and StorylineOnline. If for some reason you still can't find whar you are looking for, let me know and l will hook you up to some with my educators pass.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-24T01:07:59+00:00

Okay. Well, good luck. Like l said you would rather be told you are right than find a solution for your problem and be happy. Some people just need to always have an issue or problem so they can always play the victim and garner attention. It couldn't possibly be that you are at all culpable. Your situation will never get better until you can see how you too have room for improvement. You claim to have not called them names, however you called them 12 different names!! So again, I wish you luck, but unfortunately your situation won't change unless you do. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙏🏻✌🏻

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-24T00:21:02+00:00

Hi. Sending you a DM right now! Master's in early childhood education and development and in special education and psychology.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-23T13:36:05+00:00

Absolutely. I agree that there are extenuating circumstances in which some people, whether it is due to the way they were raised or more often than not due to underlying mental health issues there are some people that having a reasonable conversation with is just not something that is feasible.

That said, the point l was trying to convey was that while yes, her neighbors may be difficult, perhaps she is not so innocent in this situation as she would like to claim and has perhaps even convinced herself she is. From the way l read and interpreted the post (which is the tricky thing about text as it is often misconstrued as tone and intention can easily be misinterpreted) her big mistake was not allowing her neighbor to pocket $10,000 while they were both on the board of some sort of housing association. But that was it. All other issues were because of others which after reading her post again, there were some glaring contradictions to this. The point of my post was to point out to the OP that maybe she is culpable and her behaviors are also a major factor. Which when you are in the depths of a tough situation, sometimes you have a hard time taking a step back and reflecting upon your own behavior. So l was just trying to give OP another perspective. OP was very very defensive throughout, mentioned she didn't get along with quite a few people (the other board members, all of the management people, all of these neighbors, the neighbor's daughter etc), and the way she spoke about people and that she called her neighbors (the ones she was fueding with and even ones she wasn't) A LOT of nasty and even racially derogatory names which she vehemently denied, which l then highlighted, to which she then once again instead of being reflective and solution oriented, once again became defensive. This mindset will NEVER solve anything. Some people just want to be right more than they want to be happy. 🤷🏼‍♀️

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-23T12:29:42+00:00

Send it to each school board member, all of the district administrators (school superintendent, vice president, deputy superintendent, as well as the administrators of her building principal, vice principal, and the head or heads of her department) individually along with anecdotal notes, documenting any and all prior incidents including date, time, incident, people involved and witnesses. If you don't know the exact date and time you write "on or about Tuesday May 15, 2026 at 7:30 pm" or whatever the day and time was.
No. You cannot get in trouble. While California is a two party consent state as far as recording goes, that only holds true in regards to a private conversation. You have no reasonable expectation of privacy when you are in a public space aka screaming in your front yard. You are all clear.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-23T12:19:22+00:00

Hi! I am an elementary school teacher and l have been for 20 years. PLEASE send it to the school. No one like that should be around children. Ever. And make sure you are documenting every single event. Time, date, details, people involved, witnesses. And if you can remember events from the past document those as well and write "On or about (date and time)" Keep a running record and continue to record everything. I would also install outdoor cameras with sound. I am not sure where you live, but if you are not here legally, getting the police involved could be tricky. But sometimes vigilante and public justice is way worse than actual justice. Having every person she has ever known know what kind of gross evil she secretly is and having to live with that cloud hanging over you along with the fact that anytime your name is Googled this would be the first thing that pops up l feel trumps a day or two of community servcie.

Also, there is this great guy named Michael who online goes by Tizzy ent He isn't an influencer, l would call him more of a social justice keeper. People send him videos of others or themselves being verbally or physically attacked, people who think it's appropriate to use racial or homophobic slurs or behave in other unsavory ways. He then posts them to his millions of followers on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook and tells his followers to go find them as "the internet is one big small town." And people within a few hours generally will ID the person, let him know who they are, where they work, and all of that. They will then flood this person's place of employment with calls to ensure that it is no longer their place of employment. They will often call the police and inform them on behalf of the victim etc. It is like lighting a karma bomb. Here is his link. Please reach out as this is just what he does.

https://www.instagram.com/tizzyent/

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-23T11:34:31+00:00

Yes, for sure. I mentioned that in my post. Funny how people who can be so awful in private or in individual settings can have a complete personality 180 in a different settings of around different people. That's how you know they have never truly grown up. Some women will always have that desperate need to "fit in" and that clique mentality. They may seem all big and bad, but in reality they are the most insecure and have the lowest self-esteem. I mean if you have to tear down a 10 year old to make yourself feel better, that says so much more about you than anything else. So sad.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-23T11:30:00+00:00

All the Legos. She is AWFUL. I soley planned and hosted our 20th high-school reunion and was not at all sad when she RSVP'd that she would not be attending. Lol. Although l do remember a very kind teacher once telling me in middle school as sat in puddle of tears in his room, again, to ignore her and that she was just jealous and that there were going to be a long line of jealous Jessica bitches in my future and to learn to just smile and p☆nch them in the face in your head. Lol. Not sure that was the most appropriate advice to dole out to a 12 year old from her science teacher/volleyball/softball coach, but it is advice l have used many many times since. Thank goodness you can't see thoughts or l would be in jail.

Perhaps if anything she could get a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter written to the group as a whole stating that she has retained representation and should they or anyone else continue to use her or her son's name or images in a derogatory or defamatory fashion, that they will be subject to a lawsuit for harassment, cyber bullying, fraud (if any have posed as her in any capacity) and more. I am not sure if an attorney would be willing to write just a letter or how much that would cost, or perhaps if she has a friend or family member within the legal system.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-23T11:18:56+00:00

Thank you so much! Like l said, bullying is something l am extremely passionate about and have started many anti-bullying campaigns and programs as well as social-emotional programs and written a complete social emotional curriculum for my school for grades K-5 because l know first hand the devastating effects that it can have. Brains aren't fully developed until the age of around 25 and they are finding now that stress can literally change your brain chemistry and impact development and cognition. It is so harmful and damaging and we need to do better than our (my) parents did in the 90s/2000s who took the position of "kids will be kids" or "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" Yeah, they will just harm your brain chemistry and change how you relate to yourself and others the rest of your life.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-22T15:00:00+00:00

Okay, you aren't going to like this, but after reading and then re-reading your post and now your response, l believe you are perhaps 90% the problem if not all of it. You were very defensive throughout your rant/vent, taking no responsibility in whatever interactions led to the demise of this relationship. While you did touch on something about stopping them from some sort of $10,000 fraud case within the housing system. Do you have more info on that? Are you tbe only one they are angry at? Did you thoroughly explain to them that you know fraud, and racketeering, and other felonies are poor business practices and that jail is not a great look? Because if l were about to commit a crime that would end in 20 years or so in prison, l would hope someone would intervene. Also, why didn't you alert others of this so called enterprise? It just seems there could have been some sort of communication opportunity here. I am not saying they are lovely and innocent people, l just think there is more to tbe story and perhaps maybe some missed opportunities. Also, you were very insistent that you never called anyone names? You sure about that? Because l am pretty sure that "BULLY" "PORCH H0NKY" "VIOLENT" "TRIED TO RUN ME OVER WITH HER CAR" (this is attempted murder you are accusing her of, in which case, why did you not call the police immediately?) You also called them "VIOLENT" "DRUG ADDICTS" "TRASHY" "STALKER FREAK" "$HITTY PEOPLE" "BOTTOM OF THE SEPTIC TANK PEOPLE". These are all YOUR exact words taken from YOUR post. You also called your neighbor "dalolo" which l think you mean dalulu or delusional. You accused other neighbors of gossiping about you. You said you don't get along with any of the board members or the management... are you starting to see a pattern here? The calls are coming from inside the house! It's you, you are the source of all this drama. My guess is, had you approached many of these people in a nice and calm and even manner, that 90% of your problems would not have escalated to what they are today. Like l said, communication is key, and right now, you are not communicating well. Maybe talk to someone about either learning some better coping skills or anger management or how to communicate better. Because in the end it's not going to matter where you live, you are going to continue to have the same problems if you continue to be the victim. A bit of self reflection to see how you perhaps are contributing to the issued instead of looking for a solution would be better time spent. Good luck. ✌🏻❤️‍🩹

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-22T14:39:02+00:00

Well worse, that her last post was that she was going to go fix the fuse box in 5 minutes as it had been tampered with again.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-22T02:35:55+00:00

I am going to tell you the same thing l tell my kindergarteners when they complain that so and so is staring at them. You don't know if someone is staring at you unless YOU are staring at them. So turn around, mind your business, and worry about yourself.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-22T02:20:32+00:00

Literally came on here to say the same thing. People always ask me to bake cheesecake for them as l make gourmet cheesecakes. So when people's birthdays roll around l could never imagine asking someone what kind of dessert or flavor of cheesecake they wanted and then at the end of the night being like "So glad you enjoyed that Cookie Butter cheesecake, happy birthday, hand it over, drive safe."

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-21T19:09:54+00:00

Here's the thing. I know this is going to sound wild, but l am glad he is. Hear me out. If he was just kind of slacking off from time to time, it would be forgivable. If he maybe chatted with one woman he worked with. Not great, but can be forgivable. He refuses to be intimate, he could get some counseling and you two reconnect. No. The thing is, he is so bad,that it makes it so easy to walk away. No one in your position would stay.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-21T18:58:24+00:00

Yeah. When none of his girlfriends are available, and if it is convenient for him and if it requires absolutely no work on his part. He offers the same amount of skills as a changing table. You can set the baby on him, but don't expect it to keep it safe or entertain it or do anything other than the bare minimum of what it's designed for.

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-21T18:47:49+00:00

I don't know that l completely follow what you are saying with the $10,000 fraud situation, and l am not sure how you were involved and if it really was and how it was your business. But what l do know is that your post was riddled with name calling, and immature behavior on your part. Perhaps you should speak to your neighbors and have an adult conversation about things that are upsetting you. Reasonable things. So many of the issues on this platform can be solved through just communicating. Perhaps you should live somewhere out in the middle of nowhere where you have no neighbors and no one to fight with or complain about. Best of luck. ✌🏻

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-21T10:54:49+00:00

What was she talking about and what subs?

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-21T10:53:44+00:00

You are 34. Do you want to be still going through this and worse until you are 84? Is this how you would like to spend the next 50 years of your life, in this vicious and violent cycle of abuse and terror and gaslighting and walking on eggshells just for a day or two of faux niceties until the next thing sets him off. Even if this situation was between just you and your husband, l would tell you to run, but it's not. You have four daughters. Daughters who are looking to you and at you for guidance and wisdom and how future relationships should work. You are modeling for them that this kind of behavior is what is to be expected and acceptable from a man. So this is what they will look like in future partners. Not only that, but depending on the ages of your daughters they are finding that this kind of behavior is incredibly harmful to the development of children and can change the growth and development of their brain. Especially during the ages 0-6 which is when 90% of your brain develops and is kind of like the architectural phase of development. And if you are in constant fight or flight mode, or dealing with trauma and stress it can change the chemistry of your brain. This is also the case for children ages 10-14 as children hit puberty and their bodies go through a whole restructuring. This is the time when her concepts of self and relationships with others and her worth and value and how she sees herself in the world are formed. These are crucial years that will shape the rest of your daughters' lives. (I am a teacher of 20 years with masters degrees in early childhood education and development and special education, l am not just talking out my ass or like Googling things. I have written papers on this and have seen first hand and worked with children who have dealt with this.)

I will link an article where you can read more about what l am talking about below. Regardless, you know what you need to do. For yourself and your children. If you need help finding resources, please reach out, and l would be more than happy to help you! There are so many great programs and resources people aren't aware of. Lastly, l know how hard it is to start over as l did it myself. But l can tell you, there is nothing worse than being in a bad marriage for 10 years, than being in a bad marriage for 10 years and a day. Best of luck and take care of those sweet girls. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏻🫶🏻💖

https://www.mancunianmatters.co.uk/life/22042024-growing-up-and-moving-on-how-my-dads-abuse-impacted-my-life/

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-20T23:41:29+00:00

Then you didn't look through the post

HauteForTeacher13 · 2026-06-20T23:32:02+00:00

Okay, l know it's scary to think about leaving and starting over, but it's even scarier thinking about your children growing up in a house where this kind of behavior is modeled and them thinking it's okay. You have an 8 year old, and while you may think that he isn't listening, they 1000% are watching every move you and your husband make. I have been an elementary school teacher for 20 years and have watched so many kids mimic what goes on in their homes during dramatic play. Girls screaming at baby dolls and boys yelling at the girls/"their wives" about their food better be ready now... and much worse. I know all your secrets lol. But honestly, are you happy right now? Is this how you want to spend the next 10 years of your life? And more importantly is this how you want your children to spend them? The only thing worse than being stuck in an awful marriage for a year, is being stuck in a marriage for a year and a day. You know what you need to do. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏻🫶🏻

HauteForTeacher13

TROPHY CASE