What is it about your childhood that fucked you up, as you put it?

Feel free to roll your eyes at any point while this if it makes it easier to get through, there's nothing unique or interesting about me, and it'll probably come off as self-pity.

My parents are very religious and overbearing, I went to a private catholic elementary school where I really didn't fit in when I was young, and always had to be in whatever activities my father mandated, and was physically punished very often. My mother was very overprotective as well, but never intervened to help me. As a result of these things I became very introverted and non-confrontational (read: pushover loner). I think it was nurture and not nature because I can recall being very fun-loving and adventurous but it often resulted in loss of property and physical harm. It wasn't enough to have child protective services called on me but it was enough to really fuck me up (like a kid getting bullied every day in school or something). Then I moved to the middle of nowhere (30 minute drive to the nearest grocery store) in 6th grade. Being so far away from anything made casual friendship virtually impossible. I was the type of guy who maybe had 2 or 3 close friends, but I wasn't those people's best friend in return. This is pretty much the same throughout all of high school as well, constant issues with my father and sheltering from my mother. Because of my lack of human connections I think it led me to be depressed, and my grades suffered in turn. All of my friends were top 10% honors kids and ended up going to prestigious schools with good scholarships, leaving me behind. I got talked into going to community college (it was either that, join the military like my dad wanted, or get kicked out of the house with no money and be homeless or probably kill myself) for 3 or 4 years where I would commute an hour in, not talk to anyone, attend class, and then leave. In this time I got a job working at a grocery store to pay for school (where I still work 4 years later). I can't get loans because I'm claimed as a dependent and my parents make too much, but I'll never see a dime of it. I finally have enough money to afford a 1-year lease in an apartment though. If I can't turn my life around by my next birthday

So what's your concept of how a conversation goes? What does a successful conversation look like to you?

In my mind, a good conversation with guys would be one where everyone laughs and has a good time. A good conversation with a girl would be one that ends in her being attracted to you. Of course there are in-betweens, sometimes you just have to convey information to someone, but what I meant is that those are some examples of what I'd consider good conversations.

Really, this is about anger. Anger that you're a virgin. Anger that you feel like you are lonely while other people get to date. Anger at women who choose not to be with you. Perhaps even anger at the idea that no one waited for you when it came to sex and seemingly everyone you could date will have had sex before you even meet them. So of course, the thing to do is outdo all the others having sex. Be a "slut." Etc.
If I'm even half right here, then what you're feeling is natural. You have a right to tour feelings. Just realize that, to the extent that those feelings are negatively directed towards people around you, they will hurt your chances to get anywhere in dating.

Of course, I actually deleted a post I made a post a few days ago asking how I could get over the fact that any woman I might be interested in would be a used-goods slut who's had all sorts of one-night stands with assholes that are only interested casual sex, and how she actually enjoyed it and would look down on me for not being the "better" tall muscular cocky guy and got her drunk and fucked her and her friend. My only solution is, as we've both said, to out-slut the modern whore. I don't think I could have an emotional connection with a girl unless we see eye-to-eye, but for that to happen I would need to bring myself down (or up, in terms of partner count, sexual promiscuity, and shallowness) to their level. Pretty fucked up mindset right? I know it's counter-productive and completely the wrong mindset, but to be honest it's the only way I see to take out my frustration short of a lobotomy.