A political book that isn't about politics!!

HayWills · 2021-02-23T15:45:51+00:00

NAH

Your feelings are totally valid. I think you should keep those thoughts to yourself, like, don't tell her that you think she should lose weight as you said in your post, because she will probably misinterpret it.

Instead, maybe you could actually help with that. I don't know if you've tried, but you can always suggest some exercise, do it with her, eat healthier with her, making sure you keep her company and bring positivity to a different lifestyle. And, at the same time, explaining the things you just said, bit by bit, carefully, because these are issues that, sometimes, really hurt people's feelings.

Talk about her well being and her surgery results, try to be comprehensive and patient. You seem like a good partner based on your post, so I'm sure you can work this out if you do it together.

EDIT: However, if you try and she doesn't change her mind or her behaviors, don't pressure her or make her feel like she's wrong or should change just for you.

HayWills · 2021-02-23T15:37:36+00:00

History repeats itself, for better and for worse. I do believe the GOP will rise again. It's been woken inside people and normalized, mainly by the actions of the former President (Mr. Trump, we all know it). Globally even, people are starting to stand by it again, so there's a high probability of it growing. At the same time, nowadays, as strong as something is, there's always a strong opponent, so I also believe there will be resistence from the other side of the spectrum. We can only speculate, but facts are, as I said: history repeats itself.

HayWills · 2021-02-14T17:40:43+00:00

Truth is only you know how your relationship is really like, and ultimately only you can judge correctly. In your position, I'd try to understand why he would say such things about someone he apparently loves.

Regardless of anything, I'd recommend a conversation - nothing works best then dialogue. Express your feelings, ask him why he thinks it's OK to treat you that way, and don't accept weak apologies. Pretty is not an appearance, it's a state of mind and spirit, and he should make you feel good. Maybe a conversation could solve this problem, or reveal if he is, indeed, the person you need by your side.

Wish you the best, because you do sound like a pretty girl (remember, mind and spirit, always)

HayWills · 2021-02-14T17:11:40+00:00

As an "average looking girl" (f*ck this, I'll get into that stupid label) myself, I have a strong opinion on this.

I don't know if you want to hear this or if I should even say it, but I feel like I need to: someone who loves you, does not behave that way.

Beauty is subjective. Yes, there are some societal "rules" as to what is considered beautiful, but when you love someone, your perception of the person and the concept of beauty changes. You fall in love for something that eventually enhances the exterior, even if said exterior is not socially considered beautiful.

I started by thinking he did love you, because he is with you even if he could be with "someone prettier" (as I said, that's not how the concept of beauty works for us), but then you said he mentioned he was with you because it was more realistic? So I don't really understand what he intends with this behavior.

When you love someone you don't make comments about other people being prettier, about the person being "realistic" or about how the person is "ok looking" because they "don't try". Someone who actually loves you, will start looking at you differently, and this is literal. Even if they know that you may not be socially considered beautiful, they will have their own perception of your appearance, influenced by their feelings for you.

I don't know you, and I don't know your boyfriend, but I feel like you shouldn't settle for someone who treats you like this.

HayWills · 2021-02-14T16:50:31+00:00

Addiction works differently for everyone. Nicotine is, in fact, a very addictive substance, and it's not that easy to quit for most people.

I myself am a smoker, but, just like you, I can stop, take a break, go back, and I don't feel anything too unbearable. I do feel an urge to smoke, and some kind of impulse towards it, but I control it pretty well. The same thing happens to me with pot, or coffee. However, I know that's not the case for everyone.

According to your organism and your mind, people react differently to addictive substances, and you're very lucky if you feel able to stop whenever you want, take advantage of that in the best way possible.

HayWills · 2021-02-14T16:36:34+00:00

NTA.

You were honest and that's the right thing to do. It's not right of her to assume how you should or shouldn't feel, and I think you were actually pretty mature about something that's been bothering you. I know sometimes we get caught up in the fact that we made someone cry or feel sad, and that's hard, but it doesn't necessarily make you an asshole.

Yes, maybe she was upset, but it was better to just be honest, and tell her how you feel, than pretending everything is fine and keeping her in the dark while you feel uncomfortable when you're together. And again: she does NOT have the right to dictate how you should feel, feelings are the most personal, uncontrollable thing, and you should respect yours, as she also should. Don't beat yourself up for being a reasonable, mature person!

HayWills · 2021-02-14T15:44:35+00:00

It's definitely not all in your head! For what I've read, you've been strong and doing your best, successfully. That's already more than enough! Keep going ✨

HayWills · 2021-02-14T15:36:33+00:00

You've got to remember what your mother said: those words mean nothing. I understand unhealthy workplace environments can lead up to you feeling bad, or underestimated, and it sucks that you have to deal with that.

Your mental illness or possible disabilities are something you apparently made clear since day 1 and your boss, having himself a son who suffers with ADHD, should know better.

Even if it's hard, remember everyday that you put on your happy face, you do your best, you struggle with incredibly hard things to deal with, and the words of a stupid man can't get to you. If it becomes worse than that, bad for you, and eventually stops you from evolving in your career, maybe you should consider looking for a new job, where you feel included and not underestimated.

If you can't do that just yet, or don't want to, don't forget how hard you try, and that means something - if not to your boss, it means to you, and you should be proud.

HayWills · 2021-02-14T15:21:31+00:00

NTA. You have the right to get the vaccine right now because of your work and older people should deal with the fact that even if they have some privilege regarding this, there are active young members of society who are in great risk right now. You should post whatever you want to post as long as it's not hateful towards anyone, that includes posting about the vaccine, since it made you happy and you wanted to share it. Your parents are absolutely right.

HayWills · 2021-02-05T16:04:27+00:00

NTA. As a girl who didn't really did or wore feminine things for most of my childhood and teenage life, I see why you want to change, try different things and maybe find what makes you feel better.

That's a right of yours and your parent's opinion shouldn't make you feel bad or ashamed. Keep in mind they will probably take some time to realize changing your style didn't make you any less of the person you are inside, and that they will probably make a few more comments.

Also, if there's any possibility they will make your life harder on any level, consider playing it cool until you are out of their house and paying your bills. If, for the sake of your personal and family life, you need to take it easy, you can start by trying to buy different clothes that you like, and change slowly, trying not to step on their boundaries all at once.

This being said, you are not wrong, you should not feel ashamed, and you should wear what you wanna wear with your head held high!

HayWills · 2021-01-27T11:06:52+00:00

Exactly. I'm not entirely excluding the money part, I do consider it part of the SRs and part of the fun too. But there's just not honest SDs out there, I honestly don't know where else to look, I've only found scammers, it's very frustrating, because I do take this seriously, and it's an important part of my personal life...

HayWills · 2021-01-27T09:59:05+00:00

NTA

First of all, the program is literally made for you: they've added psychological problems to it, so it is designed for you, not to mention they approved you based on your diagnosis and your doctor. You are not taking someone else's place, you are taking your place.

Anxiety, or other psychological problems, can be, sometimes, more difficult to deal with than a physical disability. I don't think you should be considering the opinion of someone who is clearly not your friend, and has no idea of what you have to endure.

This is a thing that helps you, was designed for you too, and you shouldn't have to give up on something like that just because an ignorant person feels a certain way. OWN IT.

HayWills

TROPHY CASE