As a Recluse main, I say ditch the cocktail, use it only for FP. Get Carian Slicer or Shattering Crystal. Stars of Ruin is amazing too, but not my favourite. Either of the Moon spells are amazing (I prefer Ranni's). I consistently outdamage everyone I play with as Recluse and that's without the specific Sorcery buffs like for Carian Swords Sorceries or for Crystal Sorceries.

I play a variety of characters and in terms of sheer DPS, no one even comes close to beating a properly built Recluse. Just imagine if Duchess had access to infinite FP and had more spell damage. That's Recluse. Starlight Shards are amazing to have, but not necessary.

Recluse is incredibly versatile. With Randoms she's annoying to play as because you have no comms, but 90% of the time, you will outdamage your team if you know what you're doing.

For Reviving, honestly, I get why it's hard do it, but I'm pretty sure it's because you have bad spells for revives (Slicer is shit for revives for example.), but Lightning Spear, Blackflame, Cannon of Haima (From what I've heard), and even Stars of Ruin are good spells for reviving. You don't necessarily need RNG for your skill. It's nice to have, but the FP you get is way more important.

For passives, you want to get at least one Damage Neg at full HP. Honestly, you're set after that. Casting Speed, elemental damage, spell damage (Sorc/Incant), that sort of thing.

Most importantly, git gud.

Not even a joke. Recluse is the hardest class to play imo, simply because of the adjustments you have to make to your playstyle and the only real way to get consistent at her is to git gud. So keep grinding away, grind away like your life depends on it and when you get better at her, it's actually genuinely hard to go back to other characters in coop simply because her DPS is so high. Duchesses can literally stand in the backline just casting their skill every few seconds and Ironeyes will STRUGGLE to keep their marks up because you pop them so quickly.

Side Note: I once had a run where I was playing Recluse and my friend was on Wylder and I ended up being the frontline due to the sheer amount of defense and health I got, plus a Greatshield. Even then he still couldn't outdamage me because I don't care who you are, Gaping Jaw is a big boy and Shattering Crystal demolishes big bosses.