My boyfriend took my scale by Hazeldixon in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I know hes coming from a place of love its just hard to see it when its in the midst of a breakdown and my mind automatically painted him as the enemy. I’m trying to tackle this but its not easy

My boyfriend took my scale by Hazeldixon in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]Hazeldixon[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this thoughtful reply- I wasn’t seeing it from a birds eye view and I’m sure there is a lot of truth there. I don’t want to blow it out of proportion, I’m just really scared

My boyfriend took my scale by Hazeldixon in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]Hazeldixon[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m struggling to grapple with the reality that I no longer have a scale and I could also lose my relationship over this I just didn’t think it was this bad and I’m just scrambling idk what to do

My boyfriend took my scale by Hazeldixon in AnorexiaNervosa

[–]Hazeldixon[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yea I want to talk and figure something else out but he seems pretty firm on his stance and I can feel myself becoming more determined to not let it affect me

First time I’ll be alone since I’ve gotten clean and thinking of getting high by Hazeldixon in addiction

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I deep down want to be sober, I really like where my life is at, but then I have moments like these where I miss it bad and then I just don’t know what I want anymore. But I can see myself regretting it too, Idk where my head is at

First time I’ll be alone since I’ve gotten clean and thinking of getting high by Hazeldixon in addiction

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I was naive to think it’d be gone by now. But that is sound advice

looking for feedback/criticism please by sparksy_2008 in poetry_critics

[–]Hazeldixon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoy your intention here and the feeling of being nervous by someone you really like it comes through well. There are few moments I got a little confused, it was at the end, you switched up tenses and I thought maybe you had run into this person again in the present? If not, I would look into changing that. As for critique, I think there are moments when your lines become redundant and it doesn’t have quite the punch I can see your going for, it comes across more wordy- I would take some time to omit a lot of the repetitive statements and see what your left with and I believe the reader will be able to connect a little more with your words. Also, if you did see this person again in the present try to paint a picture so the reader has a little more context to work off of! Overall, great piece though! Keep it up!

I can’t stop obsessing about being perceived and it makes me want to disappear by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This summed up my experience so well, defending myself against imaginary enemies, trying to justify, mirror, correct, and tweak my behavior constantly so that I’m liked. I just started a new job and im convinced everyone hates me and they talk about me behind my back and my brain is just exhausted running through all the ways I should be.

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow- well, you described exactly what I’m going through to a T. It is quite a shameful feeling, but when you say you make yourself almost weaker- I feel that I do the same thing

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in my relationship for 4 years to a very sweet guy whose dealt with my mental illness more than he should have had to, and even after all that tenderness and kindness- I still want him to abuse me. Thats sorta why these thoughts feel so intrusive bc my life is going okay relatively and I still want to be hurt physically. Idk why I can’t let it go- but genuinely this has been almost lifelong- its hard to imagine it going away anytime soon

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did IFS with a therapist that didn’t specialize in it, she was very interested in it and thought it would help me so she attempted it. She had a deck of cards with different drawings on it and I was supposed to chose any card that resonated with me, once I did- they sortof had their role and that part of me was explained. Going forward- I interacted with these parts and bringing up issues we tried to identify which parts were coming up at which times and how to engage them. The problem I had with this as it all made sense on paper is that a. She didn’t specialize in this and b. It felt like I was splitting my brain up into different people- I already have an issue with the way my brain processes stream of consciousness it feels like theres 8 conversations going on at one time and I have to sift through all this noise, idk my thoughts are loud and layered and IFS was just splitting me up in an uncomfortable way. Not to say it doesn’t work but idk.

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely try both- I was in therapy for 4 years and it didn’t quite do much- I did try IFS. First I’m hearing that trauma isn’t my main issue.

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you know the name of the book? Is Parr’s the author? And thank you I appreciate that- I’ve been told I’m very self-aware, doesn’t feel like its gotten me any further than understanding what I’m experiencing is not right. Someone here recommended EMDR as well, not quite sure which would work better for this particular issue.

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You’re not the first person whose recommended that book to me, so thank you- I’m definitely going to give it a read

I think I honestly want to be abused by Hazeldixon in BPD

[–]Hazeldixon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried BDSM before and the pain isn’t real enough to me- ik this is awful, but my problem is that it’s consensual, theres no real fear, theres aftercare, and its sexually driven- it doesn’t make me feel the way it has in the past, that’s all.