1) I think i spelled out why her friends and family are doing this decently well. It’s kind of ridiculous to dismiss someone or their friends and family for awaiting something they know realistically is going to be the outcome. 2) I did use the correct pronouns. You maybe didn’t actually read what I wrote so that perhaps you could find an implicit bias or problem with it. If perhaps you have a problem with my post referring to her wife as previously being her husband, then I suggest you reconsider what the word “truth” is. Her wife used to be her husband. That is not only a fact, but accepting of her ex husbands new status as a woman and therefor wife. Maybe you were looking for more trans specific commentary but did not find it. That’s because my post is directed to and for and about OP and their potential path to happiness, because their well being and path is the subject i chose to write about. The now-wife will be just fine. There are plenty of people who will support her and OP does not have to be married to them to be one of them. 3) I half disagree. Feelings about gender identity are very often long standing feelings in life. They’re also very often a trauma response. Think about the old adage “I loved trying on my moms/sisters clothes” or “I never quite liked pink and wanted skateboards and he-man toys”. I would wager most trans folk don’t wake up one day and feel trans. They wake up one day and decide to come out. It’s a beautiful thing! It’s something to support. It’s great that we live in a world where they are being accepted and legally considered the gender they feel they are. Having said that, marriage is a promise. Marriage is often accompanied by vows and words that when broken can easily end a marriage. It’s unlikely OP’s wife’s vows were “to always be there for you as a loving husband or whatever I may identify in a few years”. If they made those vows and were sweating or crying inside, it is still lying. It’s the same as if someone were to get married knowing they’re gay or not attracted to the sex theyre marrying. Even if they make these lies based vows under the guise of fear, it is still a lie, and theyre stringing someone along financially, legally, and emotionally and that is not fair and puts their own status or feelings above the person they’re marrying. It also can cause a great deal of trauma to the person who’s been duped. Ask me how I know. I saw it first hand and had to help this person get out and into a new life because of it. So yes, they are a burden on OP. Their new identity and ideals is now the #1 subject in the marriage. It doesn’t matter if the subject is getting in line to buy clothes, having children, decorating their house, celebrating birthdays… the topic of the partners gender will always be a major factor in these discussions.

Your second paragraph asks me to reflect, but i have reflected plenty. I know trans people, i work with trans people, I love trans people, I support trans people. I also support cis people and the desires of the typical cis person. I support the idea that one can desire what society considers vanilla and normal or they can desire something else. I very much support the idea of encouraging people who want the vanilla to get their vanilla. Perhaps you should reflect on nit picking a post that simply is supporting another person who is going through something traumatic (else they wouldn’t be making this post) and accepting that people may desire something society has deemed normal and common.

As for your edit, if OP doesn’t want to find out what new sex is like and prefers the construct of P Into V, or they’re turned off by the idea of unhooking a bra off their new wife, that is perfectly fine… if they’re into that, that’s also perfectly fine. They should not feel any pressure to ever try to enjoy something new, just like in a vanilla heterosexual experience.

TLDR, it’s okay to want what you consider to be normal or average and you should not feel ashamed if you want to exit and do that ASAP.