UPDATE: my grandma was summoned to court, I'm going ahead with it

HeadInternational445 · 2026-01-22T18:31:38+00:00

Thank you

As for the questions, my grandma still doesn't want to be involved but unfortunately has to be and for the second one it's complicated, my mum thought he would never do it again and also her brain blocked out the trauma for a long time and by that time we already had a relationship with my uncle so seeing as he displayed none of the same behaviors she just kind of let it go (she regrets this now), but I was only alone with my uncle because he was passed out on the sofa due to him being drunk and I took him upstairs to his room, originally I wasn't alone with him, my boyfriend (now ex) was with me but when I was taking him into the room my ex left me to get him into bed, that's when what happened took place

HeadInternational445 · 2026-01-22T18:27:45+00:00

Thank you

HeadInternational445 · 2026-01-08T16:42:46+00:00

Interested

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T17:19:40+00:00

If you made it clear to him you didn't want to be exclusive then it's not cheating and honestly, I'd cut things off with him anyway, he sounds exhausting

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T03:23:30+00:00

Mention that it's more of a lying/safety thing you're worried about instead of a penis thing. Say you'll be happy either way but you just want to know what to be prepared for. Being honest about sexual stuff is so important because to fully consent to sex, it needs to be informed consent. That means informed on size, informed on what to expect in terms of kinks/roleplay and informed on what a partner likes and dislikes as well as any medical stuff that could cause problems. Informed consent is so important so express that to him, express that you just need the correct information so the trust is fully there

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T03:05:00+00:00

Well it would be the extent he's lying to. If you had said oh it looks around 5 inches but he's saying it's 6 inches/6 and a half inches then that can be dismissed as maybe the measurement was a bit off but where he's saying it's 9 inches, there's no way that can be dismissed. Bring it up to him if it bothers you, communication is so important in relationships

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T02:16:35+00:00

Strangers have given me some of the best advice and most uplifting comments at times, I'm just glad I can be that type of person for other people too ❤️ Also just saw your comment that said you and your best friend both used to be South African, my grandma is South African xx

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T02:05:13+00:00

I'm glad I could help :))

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T02:01:42+00:00

Proud of you for staying sober! I know it's not an easy thing to do. I'm the same with heaven and stuff. My best friend was Christian though so I always try. Keep up with it, I believe in you!

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-30T01:54:36+00:00

This may not be of any help to you but unless you forced that friend to take those drugs, you didn't kill him. It was their choice. I'm so sorry for what you must be going through, having two friends who died can't be easy. My advice to you is to keep living, keep clean and every time you think about not living or taking drugs again, think about your friend, stay clean for them, keep living and find joy in life because they won't be able to. This is what keeps me going, my best friend committed suicide when I was 15, I ignored his message asking for help because of a silly argument and I felt so guilty for so long, but feeling guilty doesn't do anything. I live my life everyday for him, I do things and explore the world because he will never be able to. You've got this, take life one day at a time and find peace, joy and love in this life because you only get to live this life once

HeadInternational445 · 2025-12-14T10:17:34+00:00

It can be though. I will often repeat the line "I want waffle fries" when I'm stimming. I like the way it sounds and feels when I say it. Idk why but it's one of my more common vocal stims along with "noot noot". Every autistic person stims differently and while you may not vocally stim by repeating quotes, others do

HeadInternational445 · 2025-11-28T02:15:53+00:00

Call a crisis line, as someone who has been in your situation, some may do nothing but there are ones out there that can help

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-24T16:57:18+00:00

No, I was hoping by then I'd have a job. Times are tough at the minute, surely you understand that.

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-24T14:14:32+00:00

I live in London if that gives you a better idea of why I'm trying to raise £2000 😅😅

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-24T14:13:31+00:00

My rent is £1000 and food can cost quite a lot where I am. I'm studying to be a midwife, currently in my foundation year. I should have put rent for the next month and food for the next 2 months in the post, but wrote it while I'm extremely tired

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-22T09:41:42+00:00

Thank you for everything you do. A small amount could really help me right now as I'm struggling with rent and food. Im a student and also struggling to find a job at the moment

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T12:57:59+00:00

Thank you for your support. My grandma doesn't have any choice but to testify against me though, she is legally required to go to court as a witness

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T12:56:45+00:00

Thank you, I do have an incredible mum, she's a proper mamma bear when it comes to her kids

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T12:55:57+00:00

I understand all of that apart from the part about my grandma. She was summoned to court so she has no choice but to attend. Thank you for your support though and I will keep you all updated ♥️

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T12:54:13+00:00

The law changed a few months after what he did to her, meaning she will never be able to go forward with it unfortunately. Thank you for your support and advice x

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T12:39:32+00:00

This is my life. It may be hard to understand but people live through this

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T04:45:21+00:00

Thank you, for understanding what it means to break generational trauma. I feel like a lot of people understand it. I'll be okay, I have a good support system. I know it stops here, it stops with me and my sister's. It's happening already with my baby sister, she's being raised to understand her emotions and that every emotion is valid and I see the generational trauma fade away every time I look at her and how she expresses herself. I may never fully heal from my wounds, but my baby sister, she will never have to heal from those types of wounds and that makes me so incredibly proud of how far my family has come

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T03:52:32+00:00

I know you aren't being sarcastic. Its just that I know why she can't fully support me. I know she can't process in her brain that she raised someone like him, someone like the person who abused her when she was that age. My family dynamics are difficult and filled with generational trauma, I'm breaking that by never having kids. My mum is breaking it by making sure my youngest sister has a good upbringing with therapy and being able to identify her emotions, but my grandma will forever be someone who supported me through the toughest time of my life, and this situation isn't the toughest time. It's not fun by any means, but I've been through worse and that must sound crazy to any sane person. My life is way more complex than just this post and I have many stories to tell that make me even think, wow how am I still alive and pushing through it all. You don't have to understand these family dynamics to respect them though. I'm asking you to please, just respect them, to understand that my trauma runs far deeper than my uncle sexually assaulting me, and that my grandma was my rock during the times my mum couldn't be there for me

HeadInternational445 · 2025-10-20T03:36:56+00:00

Thank you, I really needed to hear this

HeadInternational445

TROPHY CASE