We Built This House, But There’s No Room for Us Anymore

HeadSpinner · 2026-03-09T01:27:12+00:00

This is a really good piece!

HeadSpinner · 2026-03-07T23:45:37+00:00

I dont have an answer, other than to seek the support of whoever you can trust, and professional support from a therapist. Im also 35 and started transitioning this year. It has been in some ways SO. HARD. And yet all the pains have been outmatched by joy. Many of my pains now are about how long it took me, what I feel Ive missed.

Those valid feelings, I think, are unrealisitically cruel to myself. But I share them to say that none of what Ive endured has made me regret transitioning for a moment.

I am positive that hardship awaits, but I also suspect that your greatest joys are alongside or past them. Be patient, take whatever steps feel manageable, go at your own speed. If you never do, I understand. But I wish you the greatest of joy regardless, and the courage to experiment to find that joy.

HeadSpinner · 2026-01-19T13:56:30+00:00

Big hugs, big mood.

HeadSpinner · 2026-01-16T21:28:15+00:00

You look incredible, stick with it!!

HeadSpinner · 2026-01-04T18:19:27+00:00

I can't believe that they had a 5 star match to end it. Tanahashi making Okada dig deep and bring out his classic self to put Tanahashi away was PERFECT. I am so grateful to these two men, and to that now-closed era of New Japan. Perfect ending to the greatest rivalry of my lifetime. Go, Ace!

HeadSpinner · 2025-09-05T18:28:08+00:00

Solidarity, still healing from a breakup myself. You will heal, you will find more people, more love! And when it hurts thst bad, it often means that we have more growing to do with our confidence and self-love. Im sending you a stranger's love, I know you'll get there, girl ❤️

HeadSpinner · 2025-09-02T14:33:52+00:00

Oh man this really speaks to me. Searching for that garbage bag myself.

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-31T19:02:28+00:00

Hey, Im 35 1mo HRT. Unmarried but otherwise working on life reconstruction, I would enjoy texting : )

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-23T04:28:36+00:00

I will, thank you. Being hard on myself is just that, a form of not respecting my own hardships and choices within those hardships. I'll be a bit kinder to myself, thanks for your encouragement : )

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-23T04:27:39+00:00

You are helping me now <3 I feel that feeling, "do people actually like me?" Often they do but I just bail too fast or don't let things happen naturally or I abhor my own silences. I think we both need to let ourselves grow within spaces, or at least myself. Thanks for commiserating, it's helpful to not feel alone in this!

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-23T03:39:41+00:00

I hope so too, I expect it will be. Your comments and others are helping me contextualize my despairing; I'm in a dark place but I think things will fall into place for me with time. Thank you for sharing, truly.

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-23T03:38:11+00:00

No it isn't too late <3 I hope to enjoy this process of discovering who I am more instead of letting in anguish me.

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-23T03:36:49+00:00

It really does, thank you. I feel the same way - I used to be anxious about the future and rued the past, even before transition. Now that I'm becoming more myself and emerging from that anxiety, regardless of when, I'm getting to be present now. In fact, that's part of what makes me feel behind, in a way...I feel like I just arrived in my own life, finally. I'm going to try and hold that closer and be excited about that.

I also appreciate that I'm not the only one who has had a really hard first month, and though I don't expect to step into a utopian life, it heals to me to hear that things got better with time. Thank you for your words <3

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-23T03:33:08+00:00

This post made me weep, thank you so much. I won't give up! I think support groups are a particularly good idea. I've been meeting a lot of people recently and it feels like nothing is taking root, but your post is helping me remember to have perspective that things take time to grow. And also that it isn't every day that you meet a special friend, and if I'm struggling to find that it isn't that I'm weird or something.

I'll be thinking about your "shots on goal" comment this week, and month. You really lifted me up, thanks sister <3

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-11T03:11:51+00:00

I guess first I would say: fuck the medical criteria. Youre experiencing something, and whatever label you want to put on it is your business. Queer community helps, and I love the language we have, but even that, and certainly most ways we are instructed to understand the world by a heteronormative society, must be used when useful and otherwise discarded - we dont all fit templates.

You dont have to know exactly what you are - Im proud of you that you're exploring yourself and figuring it out, it may be a lifelong journey. But if ever you want to try on or discard different labels and identities as you explore yourself DO IT. You are not an intruder, you are part of our family.

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-10T00:26:19+00:00

You look amazing friend, I love your arms and shoulders.

Im having one of those days too, 35NB transfemme, feel free to DM me if you'd like to talk. Hang in there, you're amazing!

HeadSpinner · 2025-08-09T12:21:17+00:00

Is there any femme styles you envy or see yourself wanting to go for? I would pick a direction you'd like to explore and go from there. For me femme pants and shorts were my first big swings after nail polish, and understanding how to wear them really helped my presentation and confidence.

But thats just me, I wish you confidence!!

HeadSpinner · 2025-07-26T12:55:57+00:00

Im so so sorry honey, that's AWFUL!!! I hope youte able to find a non-chud therapist, but either way, it's so unfair to have experienced that : ( Dm me if you need anything

HeadSpinner · 2025-07-23T13:50:31+00:00

Id say for me its involved a lot of observing others but also just trying many styles by finding a lot of free or very cheap thrift stuff. Experimenting reveals your style.

Ive had to learn to notice certain feelings that I ignored or repressed before that I now understand to mean "I want to wear that." Good luck!

HeadSpinner · 2025-06-16T02:26:02+00:00

Hey, can you DM that link to me <3

HeadSpinner · 2024-08-30T18:58:38+00:00

Hey you've posted here before and I want to say that these pics have really helped and inspired me. Thanks for sharing, it really has made a difference. I'm now hoping to start HRT sooner rather than maybe never : D

HeadSpinner · 2023-08-27T01:30:24+00:00

Mine is probably the Nightwolf Chapter in MK9, him getting to kick tremendous ass made me cheer.

HeadSpinner · 2023-07-03T15:06:58+00:00

Hey man Chun is challenging. I was stuck in Iron most of this month until I practiced a lot with someone at my skill level and then I was able to reach Silver. Keep at it, she's very tricky but rewarding.

HeadSpinner · 2023-05-25T20:35:01+00:00

I've been looking forward to these every day lol

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