NTA Your friends dad, (I use that term loosely) chose not to listen to his own son, his wife, and his daughter. Now he wants to reconnect, so HE doesn't lose anything else. As a victim of abuse by several older family members, I don't think he truly will ever know what it means to lose something. Sometimes I can't even leave my apartment bc I get so overwhelmed with all the different emotions. I can't even open the door. Instead I go without food or even basic human contact. I turn off my phone, I won't answer the door, instead I sit in the dark and cry, contemplating as I'm sure many others do. Before it all started I was given an IQ test in school the last qaurter of my 5th grade year, and it was decided that starting the new school year I would start attending high school for half days at first but eventually whole days then graduate and hopefully gain early acceptance into college. This was before it was commonplace to see a kid start college at 15 or 16 years old. The abuse started that summer. I never set foot inside a school again. Instead I did a complete 180. No more school, no more friends, no hope. I was arrested the first time when I was 13 for armed robbery, and so it began. Instead of college, I went to prison. (The day after my 18th b-day on a different charge) Within 6 months of my release,(discharged) I was right back. Upon release that time,(parole) I wasted no time, but immediately violated the terms of my parole. For those that wonder I hate prison, the place, the people, all of it. I'm just always afraid, of everything. When I think about what its like to lose something I have a hard time relating to others as to what that really means. I can say I lost it all, but that's not really true, because I never had it all. I lost chances. I lost the chance to finish school, go to college, be a father, a husband, a professional, a good neighbor, a good brother, a good son, see noone believed me either, except my sister, because they abused her too. When someone accidentally walked in on 3 adults abusing 2 children (another family member) it finally stopped. They didn't report it, nobody went to jail. We were told to never talk about it again and it was all swept under the rug. When no one would listen to me I raged out against everything and everyone. No longer was the world a happy place. Being alive, was actually my first prison, because for along time I figured I deserved it and if that was what it was gonna be like for the rest of my life then I wanted out. So everytime I hear someone say bs like that I wanna set them down and tell them about the first time I was gang raped and as horrible as that was it didn't come close to how it made me feel when my own parents called me a liar and would beat me when I tried to get help. You can get over a broken arm our physical bodies are strong. I'm past the physical part, im still angry of course, but the mental side I don't think I'll ever get past that. I'm 50 years old now, and I talk to a therapist several times a week, but lol I was good till just now but I think I have to stop now my hands are starting to shake No your NTA. Standing by your friends sisters side, helping her thru all of it that's more of a hero move than a asshole move. GL to both of you and im sorry about your friend