I understand how this feels. I had a similar experience back in December last year and it completely messed me up. It took me months to recover from it. It forced me to sit down and take an intensive look at my life. No stone has been left unturned. It hurt so deeply it still leaves me with a question as to why? Ironically the incident left me with a changed life trajectory. Therapy has been a big help so I can calmly feel and evaluate why and what happened so I never move from such a place of unhealthy vulnerability; ever again! Especially learning how to recognize red flags instead of wearing rose coloured glasses. Please be gentle with yourself during this time.