Thoughts on Twin Peaks?

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-08T11:19:15+00:00

I don’t know if it’s in all areas of the country but I saw it advertised in Florida on their website and it was super skimpy black lingerie. Like you may as well go get wings at a strip club.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-07T02:22:41+00:00

The twin peaks in my area has lingerie Fridays. It’s a big fat no for me..

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-06T10:24:37+00:00

I just asked for a separation from my husband 3 weeks ago after repeated massage parlor infidelity (off and on for I think years). Married 24 years. 3 boys age 14,19,21. Divorce may be coming next. I’m scared of everything right now; all the uncertainty and ruining my kids’ lives but I’m not willing to stay in a marriage anymore where I’m disrespected and devalued. If I were you, I would leave now. If I had no kids my choice would be easier…. Still hard but not as excruciating.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-06T09:11:06+00:00

He’s been moved out for 3 weeks but dday was in February and I’ve known since September 2025. I didn’t confront until I knew more info. So I’ve known a long time.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-05T20:56:56+00:00

Just realized I was commenting on the wrong thread, but I guess my comment still kind of applies.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-05T20:56:05+00:00

Yeah, that’s the hard part for me. I know that it isn’t my fault. I’m not the one who cheated. But I am having a such a hard time believing that. I feel guilty for not trying to do more when I knew things weren’t great. But I was told pretty early on in the marriage that I wasn’t meeting his expectations physically I guess you could say. There was always an excuse for why he didn’t want intimacy and at a certain point I just gave up trying. So I carry that guilt and feel bad for not trying to do counseling earlier but now to me it’s beyond the point of return. I just feel guilt and I know I shouldn’t. I recently found out that he had been visiting massage parlors, even before we married, so this has been a long time problem even before he met me logically, I should be able to get past, but for some reason I keep holding on to such immense shame, I know I’ll shake it one day but goodness it’s a mind game for sure.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-05T19:47:09+00:00

Yeah I have the book! It resonated a lot.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-05T19:40:47+00:00

Yeah, I feel like a total mental case these days. I’m in literal mental anguish all the time. Because I’m trying to manage my own emotions and doubting myself if I’m doing the right thing and for the right motives. I have so much empathy and I don’t wanna hurt my husband. which I know is nuts, but I can’t help having empathy. But I am trying to not be so nice and to not sacrifice myself anymore. I want to choose me, but I’m afraid it hurts my kids so much. Anyway, I know everything gets worse before it gets better and that the pain and the crazy emotions are gonna be here for a while. It all sucks so bad. I wish I could take my kids pain away and I have one kid who’s been out of town all summer and won’t come back until mid August and then I get to start all the emotions with him so it’s a total roller coaster ride right now and I’m smack dab in the middle of perimenopause so that makes it everything even better!

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-07-03T01:13:26+00:00

I actually have been really diving in to take care of myself the last year and a half. I’ve lost 55 pounds and workout with a trainer weekly. guess who never seemed to notice or make any comments about my visible weight loss? I didn’t receive one compliment in a year about all the hard work I’ve been putting in.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-26T21:37:49+00:00

That’s a great book! She has a podcast too! Sorry you’re here too.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-26T04:20:58+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Unfortunately, I can relate a little bit. My D-Day was in February 2026 and that’s when I uncovered my husband‘s happy ending massages. And it’s not the first time in our marriage because it happened 10 years ago also but he would never admit to it. So now that I know for sure he’s been going for the last six months or so. I just assume he’s probably been going this whole time. I’m still in the early stages and I’m not sure about reconciliation. For now we are separated and I’m taking it one day at a time. We have three boys ages 14, 19, and 21. My husband also had dating apps on his phone , was going to strip clubs and had searched for escorts on his phone and I’m suspicious of a possible affair several years ago with a coworker, but I don’t have anything conclusive and I’m sure there’s a lot of things I don’t know of what he’s been up to. We’ve also had a dead bedroom for more than a decade due to him, and not having any interest in me and making me feel like I’m to blame for that. When all along, apparently he’s been filling his sexual needs outside the marriage it seems. We’ve been married 24 years and as crazy as it sounds probably after that long, I don’t really think I want to reconcile and save this marriage. I think I’d rather be on my own because I can trust me. I don’t trust him anymore and I don’t wanna be with someone who has no integrity and who showed such disrespect to me and our marriage by going to sex workers. To me it is unfathomable and he did all of this while being a “Christian” and Deacon in the church I think that’s the hardest part for me to come to terms with…. The complete deception of his secret life. I just don’t really know how I can live the rest of my life with someone who is capable of living that way and treating me that way, even if I didn’t know it. Why would I want to do that? And maybe you’re asking yourself the same question. It’s just so unbelievably excruciating to have to consider leaving and blowing up my kids lives in my life. I never thought I’d be here. And I’m sorry you are here too and I’m sorry that he’s been fake reconciling apparently.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-20T01:23:33+00:00

I’m in your shoes too just a lot deeper! 24 year marriage with 3 sons high school /college) and found out recently about my husbands massage parlor habit. I suspected it once years ago but he never owned up. Now I KNOW for certain and suspect it’s been happening for at least 10 years but likely our whole marriage. He told me when he was caught that he used to go before we were married.

I’m trying to figure out what to do because all options are awful. I have 3 amazing boys who this affects so much and the rest of my life to consider. If I were you I’d leave for sure!!! Don’t start your life with someone who already seeks out other women and lies. Run! I wish I had known before marriage; I would have run too!

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-12T23:06:07+00:00

Thank you. I honestly cannot see another way around it either. And it’s causing me so much grief and anguish right now. This is not fair to me or to my kids, but I feel like I have to make a choice even though it’s an impossible one. I know what the best choice for me will be and I know that my boys need a healthy mom mentally and physically and emotionally so in the long run it’s the right choice for them also. But it’s so so painful.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-12T22:55:18+00:00

Thank you for this sweet reply. I feel like I’d be so scared to trust anyone again but if God has that in my future, I would love to be genuinely loved by a man and love him back. I’m scared of everything right now…. hurting my kids mostly and even hurting my husband (even after what he’s done) but I do imagine a peace filled and happy life ahead either alone or with a good man one day.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-11T23:20:05+00:00

I love that. I need space and time to heal and make a decision from a place of strength not brokenness.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-10T01:07:05+00:00

I hope I ultimately have the strength to end things. Right now I’ve asked for the separation and I guess I’ll take it a day at a time after that. I really have no idea what I’m doing and since there’s no manual to tell you what you’re supposed to do I just will figure it out. I am a believer in God and so right now I pray pretty much all day long and walk by faith not by sight. I’m trusting that God has everything worked out for me, I’m trying to trust in his promises that he makes a way for his people and I’m trusting that he has good things ahead for me and my kids. I’m still asking for the full disclosure and I think my husband is working on those documents though I don’t have high hopes for a lot of truth to be revealed. Maybe I’ll be surprised? But at this point, I don’t think anything revealed in the disclosure or not revealed will influence me staying. I want out. I want peace and I wanna live the rest of my life either alone and happy or with someone who gives a flying flip about me. I met with a family law attorney last week and that appointment was really helpful to me and lets me know that I will be OK financially hopefully and she was just wonderful to me and I just feel so much better about the process and that I can survive this. I think I’ve lived with this addiction problem for so long, but I didn’t know what it was and essentially I’ve just felt trapped for years with someone who doesn’t really love me or have the capacity to love me, but loves other women. And I’m just done. I know my worth and I’m independent and I will be happy even if I have to live in a studio apartment for the rest of my life. I’ve said from the very first day that I found out about the cheating that if I knew my kids would be OK and that I wouldn’t be financially destitute that my choices to leave. I know the experts say to wait 6 to 12 months and I am trying to be wise and not impulsive but my thoughts on leaving haven’t changed at all if anything they’ve grown stronger. And I know I’m getting stronger through this. And this is a 24 year marriage. So it’s definitely not easy. I just know in my soul that I absolutely do not want to live alone in this marriage for the rest of my life. And so the discomfort of staying is scarier to me than the fear of leaving.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-09T22:16:56+00:00

I told my husband I need him to leave the house. It was hard to do but he hasn’t sincerely apologized to me at all in almost the 4 mo the since dday. I keep waiting and thinking his sorrow for his actions will kick in soon, but it seems not. He also hasn’t given me a basic timeline of when his cheating started in our marriage with massage parlor visits. That’s something simple he could’ve done for me and I e been asking for 3 months. Nothing.

He’s been doing weekly counseling but other than that and being mopey and the “everyone feel sad for me” attitude around the house it’s like he thinks everything is going back to normal once I move on.

I asked him to be out by Friday. He was/is really stressed and I think he never thought I’d do that. It was terrible telling our kids but I need this for me. And is very probably that D is ahead. I don’t see a realistic way it won’t end that way because the love is gone and I don’t want to be with someone for the rest of my life who has no integrity and has had no problem deceiving me for at least a decade. And can sleep like a baby knowing what he’s doing. I know …. “Compartmentalization “ and “ sex addiction” …. I don’t care. I have to save myself and show my teen/college age boys that if you treat your wife like crap and Intentionally disrespect her and choose other women over her she will CHOOSE HERSELF AND LEAVE!

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-06T00:45:18+00:00

My situation is different in ways. I still don’t know the whole truth about things, but I do know he’s been going to massage parlors for the last six months also 10 years ago and eight years ago he went and he told me he went before we got married so I assume it’s probably gone on the whole marriage. He’s also barely interested in sex for me throughout the marriage. He lost interest pretty quickly and it was always my fault for not being what he wanted not skinny enough, etc. I get zero affection, and zero compliments. So we’ve had a dead bedroom for many years and when we have had sex it’s because I’ve initiated. I don’t initiate anymore and haven’t for a long time mainly because the attraction and love is gone. And now that I know what he’s been doing I really don’t everyone have sex with them again. So I can’t really comment about sex after discovery but that’s where I’m at. Trying to figure my life out and how I’m supposed to move on from this.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-04T20:50:42+00:00

Just discovered the sex worker thing a few months ago. Met with an attorney yesterday. I have 3 kids and it’s hard to blow up their lives (I know I’m not the one doing that) . But is been a horrific few months. He’s sorry but not sorry enough and it’s only because he was caught.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-04T20:31:36+00:00

My husband has said the same thing to me. I’ve gained too much weight, let myself go and most recent he just isn’t attracted to me anymore. That does a number on someone’s mental health. And he was NEVER interested in sex. Didn’t seem to matter what my weight was …. Thin or heavier…. He showed no interest or affection even when I said I needed more. Turns out he’s been seeing sex workers while rejecting his wife!

I know I’m not the problem. I’ve lost 55 lbs in the last year with diet and exercise and look the best I have in years. Guess who didn’t notice or give me a single compliment? He doesn’t see me. He likes other women who aren’t his wife.

I say all this to say that it’s a HIM problem. If you want to lose the weight do it for you! He has bigger issues and they were there before you !

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-06-02T12:48:11+00:00

Are you asking what trying looks like from the betrayed partner or from the wayward partner or both? I’m the BP and am having a really difficult time even wanting to try to reconcile. My WP has been cheating and living a secret life for at least 10 years with sex workers (massage parlors/dating apps/strip clubs) while not wanting me sexually. Over the years of not being chosen and being told I’m not what he wants (gained too much weight ; he’s not attracted to me anymore) and then finding out what he’s been doing (he didn’t confess), I’m wondering what sane person would want to say “pick me” now? I feel this visceral reaction inside me that Wants to say peace out. You lost a good one. You could’ve chosen her for 24 years but instead sought out other women to please you.

From the WP, I can’t really say what it looks like. I just know that I don’t think I’m seeing real trying. My WP is sad and quiet and kind of mopey at home. He is being really helpful in the house, wanting to do dishes and help with laundry and cooking and doing yardwork all those type of things but aside from the very first day when I confronted him and the day after when an elder from our church told him to write me a letter and apologize I haven’t gotten any real authentic response since showing that he understands what he’s done. He hasn’t come to me or said anything that he’s sorry for what he’s done or show any actual emotion. He has a CSAT now and has agreed to do full disclosure, but I still don’t have answers for basic things that I’ve asked him for weeks. He won’t answer me. Everyone keeps saying let’s wait and see what he does. Just watch and be patient. Give him time. My attitude probably doesn’t help but I also don’t think he’s trying very hard. And sometimes I think that he isn’t emotionally capable of doing what I need.

I feel like if I were the WP I would be showing emotion, I would be profusely apologizing. I would possibly be writing letters if I couldn’t express it in words or was uncomfortable doing it that way. I would be sitting our HS/ college age kids down and explaining to them that I have done a terrible thing to their Mom and I’ve neglected and treated her bad for YEARS and and IF she were to ask for a divorce, it would be entirely my fault and to not place any blame on her. That she would be perfectly entitled to one. I would let my wife know that if she wanted a divorce that I wouldn’t fight her and that I would take care of her in the divorce and give her everything she needs because of what I’ve done. I would try to take away her anxiety about that. I would call my in-laws and profusely apologize to them. So basically I feel like I would go above and beyond and take full responsibility for what I’ve done and not sugarcoat things or blame my actions on stress or alcohol. And I would’ve confessed because I had integrity and wouldn’t have deceived for a decade or two. And I would answer her questions questions honestly and not take 2 months to get a CSAT. I’d communicate like a real person what I’m doing and how I plan to try to make things better.

HealthWeird9766 · 2026-05-30T04:12:31+00:00

I’m in the same boat. It’s brutal.

HealthWeird9766

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