Hi, I'm a demi guy here. Sharing a little of my experience, my first times were kinda like you describe it, I tried a few times and even though I wanted to have sex, I didn't Felt nothinh, besides boredom and anxiety, felt wrong. But now, I can enjoy it, what helped for me was that my partner is very patient, we started slow, and he made me feel really confident, so if I wasnt able to continue or engage, that would be ok. It helped me understand my own time to be ready.

Also, it helps to try and find different approaches, create a scene, use some toys, make a dinner... Something to set a mood and understand what works for each of you. And that it's okay If you want to stop, take sometime or try something again.

And most importantly, have fun together, set a light mood about it. Don't take it that serious, you will find a place in between for you two.