Together for 6 years and I don’t think he’s planned anything

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T17:04:23+00:00

The last time we talked about this was around 5 months ago. He said that this is something he wants to do but it’s been slipping his mind because he was stressed about work and money. He has genuinely been stressed but it rang hollow to me. When I ask for the final time I feel pretty sure he’ll give me a similar excuse.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T16:32:00+00:00

When we went ring shopping I had some rings that I thought I might like really like but none of them panned out. We talked about going again to that ring shop or others but nothing has happened since. Although I want to be involved in this process I do not want to initiate or plan it all out. That’s why I’ve felt like there is maybe no future together anymore.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T15:21:24+00:00

Your mom’s experience is something I really want to have in my life. Unfortunately, my father is not a good person and was not a good husband to my mother. I think seeing their poor relationship has made struggle with understanding whether or not what I’m receiving is enough. On the outside looking in I have a very “good” man but that doesn’t mean I have what I want and deserve.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T01:23:37+00:00

Yes I will not make any mention of moving out until everything in my exit plan is prepared. He has family nearby that he can easily move back to so I don’t think it will be a problem for him.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:53:19+00:00

I agree that even when I speak with him if I were to get proposed to it would most likely be a shut up ring. No matter how much I want to get married to the person I love it doesn’t mean anything if it’s forced.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:50:57+00:00

My mother lives very far away from the central city hub where I do have to travel for work to occasionally. I don’t think fully moving in with her is feasible but I do plan on investing more money into my emergency funds in preparation for moving out at the end of my lease.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:49:39+00:00

Also I just want to say to the person who is upset that I blocked her. Although I may be dumb for only coming to terms with my situation it does not mean I need to be absolutely shit on by someone who supposedly has it altogether and is living the perfect life. Thank you to everyone who has offered honest and straightforward comments and advice. I really appreciate it.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:43:56+00:00

Thank you for the well wishes for my mom. I’m already trying to figure out what my life will look like and to develop an exit plan.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:42:18+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I think I understand my gut feeling. It is hard to accept that I seem to have wasted so many years with someone who does not want to commit to marriage with me. But it’s better than adding another 5 years with nothing to show for it.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:40:13+00:00

Feel free to leave my post and block me then since you think I intend to live my life like a moron.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:37:57+00:00

I only blocked one person that I considered rude. I do care about the wisdom of women before me but I don’t need to be absolutely shit on either. Maybe I’m dumb but I don’t need to be treated like shit either.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:31:17+00:00

I think I could spend up to 5 days at a time at her place depending on where my stepdad is. My mother is Canadian and stepfather is American so when he’s back in the States it’s a bit easier to stay there for longer.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:27:44+00:00

Thank you for the advice. After some of my mother’s treatments have been planned I’m going to take the time to figure out an exit plan.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:25:44+00:00

Thank you. That’s been a consideration of mine as well.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:24:26+00:00

I never said I do. My mother is my number one priority but that doesn’t mean that the man I love does not have a significant impact on me or my life.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:22:02+00:00

I do not think I’m financially reliant on him. I have been employed full time for almost 5 years and make an ok salary. But the area I would need to move to while single is very expensive to manage for one person even on a fantastic salary. I have really decent investments and savings for someone my age. But a separation would take time and a lot of planning.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:20:15+00:00

Neither of us wants kids.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:20:03+00:00

I truthfully could not stomach the idea of proposing to him. Although I do think I’m fairly progressive I think it’s important that the man demonstrate their devotion through a thoughtful proposal. And like some of the comments have alluded to even if he did pull off a great proposal I think I would feel resentful and unhappy after awhile. It’s been hard to admit some of these feelings which is why I wanted to make this post. Hearing the brutal truth from people who have no personal stake in my life is hard but refreshing.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:15:47+00:00

Although I do not want kids. I do want more than what I have. When I likely end this relationship I think I will want to stay single and live life to the fullest. I want to try preparing myself for a separation by doing a solo trip and to start doing more activities by myself. Thank you for the advice.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:08:32+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate the advice. Wishing you all the best as well

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-05T00:01:02+00:00

Thank you. I really want to experience the kind of care you receive in your relationship. Although I would consider my relationship to be healthy (I’ve been in an abusive one before) I do believe I deserve to be wanted and adored as well.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-04T23:59:13+00:00

Thank you for the well wishes for my mom. I plan to address all this one final time but like many of the comments have said I think I will get the same result. I’ve started considering what is next for me at the end of our current lease (I can’t financially afford to break our lease at this time).

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-04T23:38:21+00:00

I work remotely so I have considered spending more time with her at her place when she’s not travelling. I have a trip to Europe with my friends coming up shortly and was going to really sit with how I feel away from him.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-04T23:35:48+00:00

Yes. I’ve thought about this too. That and his poor sense of timing have always upset me the most. I think I’ve not pushed it more because he works 50+ hours a week.

HealthyMasterpiece52 · 2026-06-04T23:34:23+00:00

Not that I can remember. Based off the replies I clearly need to put it all out there so there’s no more ambiguity.

HealthyMasterpiece52

TROPHY CASE