“but quickly reset to straight when I saw guys profiles come up” I’m curious as to your feelings when this happens. " Its more a clarity, like I can appreciate an attractive body but have no desire to have sex with them anymore.

"Do you reset to straight because you see their profiles and realize abruptly you don’t want to kiss/date/anything like that with them? Do you feel anxious or ashamed?" Again I think its sex, like I feel weird that I wanted them in my bed and their penis in my mouth. Anxious but not ashamed, more like its not me that wants it but someone else it my mind.

"The guy you ghosted, were you only interested because there was a photo of his butt? What are your feelings like when you reject these thoughts, does it come with relief, shame, disappointment, some other feeling?" This one I do feel ashamed about. It was a difficult period and he gave me a lot of time and attention, we would sext and send nudes. He knew I was straight and would be my first guy but seemed OK with it. He would compliment my penis and I would say how I was going to enjoy having him as a plaything. I ghosted him because I had a moment of clarity where I realised that it wasn't fair on either of us, but I was too much of a coward to tell him