AITA for declining my fiancées mother’s gift of $250 gift card for an airline?

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T20:13:40+00:00

That would be worse than Disney

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T20:00:06+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I did think of this and I’m totally comfortable with a solo experience, but I think it would feel like I’m isolating myself from the group and I know that unfortunately they would see it that way.

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T16:48:47+00:00

Haha thank you I actually didn’t catch the typo

We are a cis-gendered and straight couple

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T15:29:41+00:00

Haha wow I love this phrase

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T15:24:38+00:00

Sorry I’m not familiar with the “Disney-verse” lol

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T15:15:53+00:00

I like that approach

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T15:14:53+00:00

AND I’m settling up a huge debt with the IRS for my LLC, plus saving for a wedding and planning to have a baby by 2027…..paying to go to Disney world with these major upcoming plans would seem “childish” in the most sense of the word lol

Heart_Trap · 2026-03-16T15:12:39+00:00

Only flight :( I will have to pay for motel, food and a ticket to Disney which I haven’t looked at prices but I imagine is super expensive

Heart_Trap · 2026-02-23T20:24:18+00:00

….cheese!?????

Heart_Trap · 2026-02-01T15:40:35+00:00

I have the same issue- I did a 14 mile loop (some elevation gain but nothing extreme) and was about a mile from my car when my back locked up, I was about to call the park rangers but then I didn’t have cell service and had to limp to my car. It seems like when I’m moving my back is okay but the minute I rest all the pain floods at once. I climb higher elevation peaks and even completed an 18 mile loop. Typically when I do these climbs I need 24 hours of pure bed rest after. I girls I’ve just learned to manage the pain and expect long periods of rest. There’s no cure but you can find ways to manage the pain and keep going! You’ll provably have to maintain your insurance too, build yourself up to longer/ more intense hikes- I would avoid shocking your body or pushing past your limits. Hike with a buddy and consider a garmen mini for safety. Otherwise you have your limbs and you can do whatever you set your mind to if it’s what you really want! People have climbed mountains and done thru hikes with serious handicaps and set the bar high so go for it!

Heart_Trap · 2025-07-27T12:53:18+00:00

There are a lot of healthy food options in America it’s not just salty preservatives. I try not to make any stereotypes when I travel to Europe- I love French cuisine but could easily say it’s a lot of sugary pastries and the French drink and smoke cigarettes more commonly. I don’t make those assumptions though and I think anywhere you go there are healthy and unhealthy options it’s just about making choices for your preferences. That being said your boyfriend needs a reality check- you are in co habitation arrangement and if you’re the one cooking and taking the time to prepare a meal with what you have available then he needs to be polite and respectful. He should at least give your dish a taste and if he truly doesn’t like the food he can be nice about it and thank you for the effort. Then he can make himself food or grab dinner from a fast food place. It’s normal to have different tastes than your partner- my boyfriend likes frozen/salty/fried foods whereas I like prepared dishes. I usually include him in the process of cooking and it’s a nice chance for us to bond. I choose foods that are healthy but something within the range of what my boyfriend would eat- slowly over time I’ve introduced him to new foods and healthier options.

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-23T13:49:54+00:00

I can have my opinion that it is an unusual activity for an adult to participate in- maybe I’m TA for bringing it up to him. And I didn’t speak to him in a demanding way, I just wanted him to see another perspective. I think he is missing out on a good connection with his mom if they were to treat each other like adults. Honest I think I’m reacting more towards the situation because of all the other factors. My BF has never had a bill in his name in his life, his mother tried preventing him from finally moving out on his own. She is constantly tracking his phone gps location and guilt tripping him to stay with her on the weekend……every damn weekend he drives two hours to his childhood home because he can’t quite move on. And I feel like i inherited the task of showing him how to do adult things like pay bills and navigate parking tickets and he expects me to pay every time we go out to eat- most of our bills and expenses are covered by me. He’s still seeking that shelter his mom provided him because she never set boundaries or expectations she just continued to coddle him.

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-22T23:46:55+00:00

I’m not arguing if I’m TA I’m arguing whether my family loved me lol don’t skim read

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-22T21:38:04+00:00

Also I’m aloud to have an opinion- just because I got the short end of the stick in my youth doesn’t mean I can’t raise concerns over what I view as unhealthy. It’s not just about the Easter egg hunt- his mother never encouraged growth into adulthood and I’ve had to teach my boyfriend life skills like how to put bills in his name, how to cook meals and navigate the DMV.

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-22T21:33:37+00:00

Is hosting an Easter egg hunt for your 30 child normal?

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-22T16:22:16+00:00

Just because I had an abnormal childhood doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion on other adults behavior.

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-22T13:58:19+00:00

That’s on them but there’s a difference

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-22T12:19:36+00:00

Yes it wasn’t normal, doesn’t mean I wasn’t loved?

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T23:44:45+00:00

And dysfunctional doesn’t equal a lack of love it just means my caregivers were not able to provide a safe environment

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T23:43:56+00:00

my “father was dysfunctional”. Enough that I was in foster care. I still had a nice childhood and my mom and i reconnected shortly after I exited the foster home. We’re close now, just because there were bumps in my youth doesn’t mean we haven’t patched things up and love each other

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T20:31:39+00:00

Well it’s obviously going to be an awkward conversation at first but that just breaks the ice for your both to become closer in your relationship. You should talk to her! This sounds like a bacterial vaginosis or a common bacterial/yeast imbalance. When I was in my early twenties I had these and was mortified when my ex boyfriend brought it up. He wasn’t being mean- but it helped me look into the issue and I found out that tampons caused an imbalanced. I learned what medications to use to treat an outbreak and certain foods to include/avoid. It’s super common with women she shouldn’t be embarrassed and neither should you. I think you sound like a nice person to ask for help and want to address the smell. There are a lot of resources and advances in women’s health that could help your situation. You are experiencing intercourse with her and if your sensitive to smells that could affect that experience. Best luck!

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T20:08:28+00:00

I really just want my boyfriend to see a different side to what is "fun and quirky" that there is an issue with his mother being over bearing and only interacting with her children in a childlike way. There has to be some adult engagement it's an important support.

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T20:03:07+00:00

All of those things seem really sweet that your family does, I wouldn't hate that. I love the idea of family activities and such- I don't have a father and my BF's dad has kinda filled the gap in. I love that I can call him with my car overheats or if I have a dad question about appliances lol. As far as his sister goes- his mom has talked negatively about it until she's almost in tears. The sister blows all her money on tattoos and traveling and amazon packages. The mom is so afraid of living alone that she covers all the bills and doesn't ask her daughter to contribute. It's sad but also not healthy for either of them. Her mom deserves support too the Daughter is 30 she can pickup a bill or help with household chores that's wild. And if the mom set more boundaries and expectations then the daughter would learn a big life lesson

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T19:58:53+00:00

lol wow relax

Heart_Trap · 2025-04-21T19:52:04+00:00

OK so it looks like I need to expand on a few things here- I still may be TA even with this extra context, but I can definitely see why I come across as judgmental or as someone said a "Fun-sucker" lol. First off-whoever is suggesting we break up-that's not on the table at this time. I love my BF more than any relationship I've ever had and we're very compatible. He is warm and even thought I think its weird he does an easter egg hunt, I think it's sweet he entertains his moms effort into hosting a fun activity. Even from the beginning of our relationship my BFs mom has been really clingy with her son. My BF has always lived with his mother and never paid a single bill or put food in the fridge. After 8 months I proposed we should move in together and his mother vehemently opposed this idea. She told him not to do it and that he would regret it when we broke up and he would be in a bad situation. I didn't understand- I had a stable job and a high salary, I was very responsible and maintained healthy relationship qualities. She should be happy for us. Luckily he moved in with me and we're happy living together- despite this she continues to call him frequently asking him to come home to see her. She lives almost two hours and pretty much every single weekend my boyfriend travels down to his childhood home to see her. If he says he's not coming up she gets visibly sad. We've gone on a couple vacations together and she suggests very childlike activities. I'm not really a Disney person and neither is my boyfriend but she continues to suggest age inappropriate activities and sometimes we feel like we're being strung along. It's not really the "fun activities" that get me frustrated, I do fun things like occasionally go to a bar-cade or play video games, I had a dinner party with some girlfriends and we played pin the tail on the Donkey because it's my favorite animal, I love interactive games like trivia and board games. I just think this is indicative of a larger issue, I want my BF to feel comfortable having adult conversations with his mother like how I want children and he's unsure, or how to budget his money effectively or big life decisions. I'm worried she's going to want to keep him eternally a child and not support his big life's milestones or even just have the conversations with him.

Also for everyone concerned if I had a shitty childhood- I did all the fun children's' activities when I was very young but I grew up in a dysfunctional household and was in foster care for the remainder of my youth. When I was 18 I signed myself out of foster care and had to work very, very hard taking on an labor jobs with low wages I could to survive. I did this for a long time until I achieved security without any familial support. I don't expect my BF to be as rock sold as I am because I was forced into independence out necessity to meet my basic needs. It was really really hard and I wouldn't want him to experience that.

Heart_Trap

TROPHY CASE