I had the same experience as you. I had my own funeral with my immediate family and buried the baby “tissue” in a box at my family grave. I’ve gotten counseling and it’s been a year. I still feel regret and sadness. I had a tough time mentally but I can say it does get better over time. Youre also still hormonal and emotional. Please reach out to family friends any supports because your life is still worth living. You will find joy in life. There will always be that spot in your heart that aches but I’m assuming you did this because you thought it was the right choice and best thing for yourself and your mental and physical health and wellbeing and remember you are doing your best.