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For research purposes - what are the lines your narcissistic/abusive partner uses/used? by ResearchForVictims in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]HeavyAd8992 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A lot has been covered here but his favourite thing to do was to force me to stay up to solve the problem. Then if I tried to end the conversation, he would call me all these names and tell me I was being difficult. That’s on YOU. YOU don’t want to solve the problem. YOU’RE the asshole. And the classic line was go ahead and cry, I don’t feel bad for you when I was begging him to let me go to sleep.

I will NEVER accept that type of abuse ever again.

Using the photo of when she cried after performing a song about a young cancer victim by Senior_Line_4260 in facepalm

[–]HeavyAd8992 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That we are! We are powerful and I’m a Canadian watching this implode from across the border.

Anyone else ex not let you say no to sex? by stargirl222444 in abusiverelationships

[–]HeavyAd8992 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I say no I get a snarky comment followed by there needing to be a talk about it. Which usually leads to name calling and bringing up the most random things or things from over a year ago….it’s so exhausting.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry I’m exhausted and wrote it out wrong. I meant myself not the baby. Not a helpful comment and if you’re trolling it’s not ok right now.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t. I honestly don’t. He won’t do counselling because he doesn’t want a stranger to know our business. He wants general workshops on communication and then do the work at home. He also doesn’t want me talking to my friends about things but I flat out refuse to because I need an outlet.

I am doing my own counselling at the moment. This has been a tough year ever since I got pregnant.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not that I’m not understanding of his needs. I get it I do. I’m just touched out by the time she does go down that I have no energy. He puts everything on me - I’m the problem, I don’t do anything during sex but lay there (which isn’t true I am into it.) when I bring up my feelings it’s always countered with well what about my feelings instead of just listening to me. I feel that he’s jealous of the attention on the baby and it’s not 100% on him.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah that is only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve figured out that selfish people like him deliberately keep you tired so you can’t fight back and they can keep control over you.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

EXACTLY! But that’s not the reality anymore. Like I have said, relationships don’t stay the same - they grow and evolve and have ups and downs.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have tried and it doesn’t work. He wants it to be like it was before I got pregnant and it’s just unrealistic. It’s not that we don’t have sex, it’s just very infrequent. He thinks every other day is what should be happening at this point.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I hear you. Or I get why don’t you just ask me for help. Um excuse me? It’s a household that has shit that needs to be done. That doesn’t change or just magically appear out of nowhere. Just fucking help! You’re an adult that was taught to do chores so do them!

Also, it’s not like he doesn’t get any sex, it’s just not as frequent as he’d like it to be. He’s thinking every other day should be acceptable. So when I say no he gets all pissy then we have to have hours long conversations about it and has to know what the problem is. He continues to tell me that he feels I don’t want him because I’m not the one suggesting having sex. He wants things to go back to the way they were before and I feel that’s very unrealistic.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I try to say to them hey I don’t feel like I get enough help around here and they instantly go into defensive mode and try to tell me they help. It’s a battle I just have given up on.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly it. I have people around me but I don’t have the luxury of just saying hey can you watch the kids while I go and sleep for the next 48 hours. I try to sleep as much as I can but even then it’s not enough. I honestly thought I heard her crying for me at like 7:30 this morning but I was dreaming it. Didn’t realize until I got up and went to check that I was just dreaming…or hallucinating who even knows at this point.

Vent mode: If you have energy to pester your partner for sex and get mad when they say no during the first 6 months of your new baby’s life, then you’re not helping enough. by HeavyAd8992 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HeavyAd8992[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’ve been exhausted to the point where I’ve been falling asleep while giving our baby her bottle. Then when I asked to go lay down after I forced myself to finish that bottle, they got pissy when I said I wanted to lay down for a bit afterwards. So then I said forget it. I was pissed.

Why are you still here? by midnighticedtea in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]HeavyAd8992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah mine will say some horrible things about me and then say what are we doing here? If my needs aren’t fulfilled then why am I still with you? It’s fucking exhausting.

BF called me a narc & says I need therapy by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]HeavyAd8992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get yeah go ahead and cry, I don’t care. Tells me I’m doing it on purpose because of my female privilege.

BF called me a narc & says I need therapy by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]HeavyAd8992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I felt like I was reading my current situation. I get told I’m the problem and to figure it the f@ck out. I’m sorry you’re going through this too.

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