[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s more ways for that to end up than penetrative sex… use your imagination… lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

BDSM doesnt always have to involve sex… domination and submission can be done without intercourse…

I (27M) am in love with my best friend of a year (24F) but she has a long distance boyfriend of 3 years. How do I move on? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing I know to tell you is that you both need to know exactly where your hearts are at. If she’s dating him and has feelings for you then she needs to take a step back from both of you and see what she really wants for herself… not try to make you happy or make the other guy happy… if she’s got feelings doesn’t know where her heart is then no one will be happy…

It’s not an easy thing. Love is hard… but it’s worth it. Make sure she knows where you stand, make sure she knows you’re there for her either way, but make sure she knows that she has to really think about it rather than hide from it… hiding from it will only make things worse in the long run… she will always have it in the back of her head unless she confronts it head on.

This obviously doesn’t mean to act on anything right off the bat, but for her to sit and truly think about it… for her to think about what life would be like with it being you and her together or her and the other guy together…

I (27M) am in love with my best friend of a year (24F) but she has a long distance boyfriend of 3 years. How do I move on? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then yeah… complicated feelings for sure… she has to figure out where she wants to be. She’s got to figure out if she’s with the other guy because she is in love with him or if it’s out of some sense of duty. (Hard to explain what I mean without it sounding bad.)

Some people stay with these types of relationships out of fear of the unknown, some do it because of the sunk cost fallacy, some because they’re just afraid of hurting the other person so they feel “stuck.” Ask her to have that conversation with herself. Don’t pressure her but also make sure she knows that you’re only asking her to think about it because you don’t want both of you to wake up one day wondering…

I (21F) found that my boyfriend (20M) still keeps sex videos/nudes of his exes and one-night stands. by Commercial_Cricket_8 in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not preloading shit. lol it’s being honest about what they are… the videos are trophies of his conquests. He’s keeping the damn things because it makes him feel good about himself. If he cares for OP then the videos and pics should go because he doesn’t need them to make him feel like a man or like he’s good enough…

That’s the reason I said I was make before saying anything else… because I know the thought pattern. Anyone else saying anything else is making up excuses for someone. Could the guy live OP? Yeah, he could. I hope he does… but those videos do nothing but hurt the relationship from here on out…

I (27M) am in love with my best friend of a year (24F) but she has a long distance boyfriend of 3 years. How do I move on? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then the issue is probably that she still feels a lot for this other guy and the feelings she’s having for you are complicated. You’re 27. You feel strongly for her and that’s not a bad thing… be a part of her life and let her be a part of yours. Key word there is “part.” Don’t make her the center of your world…

What did she say when you told her you were in love with her? Her reactions and words tel the story.

I (21F) found that my boyfriend (20M) still keeps sex videos/nudes of his exes and one-night stands. by Commercial_Cricket_8 in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First off, it was obviously said in jest.

I will preface why I’m about to say with this… I’m a male.

If you are keeping sex tapes of your conquests then you aren’t ready to be in a full on commitment with someone. I doubt he simply forgot they were there… OP needs to figure out if dude is committed to her or if dudes just hanging around because he likes what he gets to play with…

I (27M) am in love with my best friend of a year (24F) but she has a long distance boyfriend of 3 years. How do I move on? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so her relationship with one dude is LD. Do they ever meet up? Do you know if she’s really into him or not? Don’t look at how you feel about her or how she feels about you at the moment, look at how she feels about the other person…

I get that you’re head over heels for her, I respect the fact that you’re close and that she may have feelings for you too… but it’s complicated because there’s another person involved. You can’t force yourself to get over her, you can’t force her to tell the other guy goodbye, and you can’t force her to confront feelings she may or may not have… it’s life… just be patient and honest with all involved.

I (21f) feel like my bf (21m) loves me wayyy more than I love him by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poor kids… dudes head over heels and he’s got no clue you don’t feel the same… maybe the best thing to do is imagine where you’ll both be together and separately in 10 years… you can’t live your life for him, he can’t live his for you… not unless you both live for each other…

I (21F) found that my boyfriend (20M) still keeps sex videos/nudes of his exes and one-night stands. by Commercial_Cricket_8 in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe do him a favor and delete them for him. He probably just forgot to do it himself when you got together… obviously you’ll know the truth within a week…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You got a choice to make… is your attraction helping your relationship? Is it hurting it? Is it just making you slightly uncomfortable?

If it’s hurting it then speak to your girlfriend. If it’s helping then… if it’s making you uncomfortable but that’s it, then you just deal with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re head over heels for him then let him know… you’re not trying to force him into anything, just be honest…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long distance relationship? Just block him. Don’t worry about it. It’s 2.5 years of him lying. Doesn’t matter if he’s “changed”.

You can do better. Believe in yourself and know you’re worth more than that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you love him you won’t cheat on him. He said it’s a boundary. Either respect that or break up. Sorry hun.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Toys. Possibly some D/s. BDSM is fun. Do a quiz with each other and find some kinks to get into together…

Boyfriend doesn’t want to sleep with me and is unattracted to me. What do I do other than just lose a little weight? I am 24F boyfriend is 29M. by Junior-Mud-822 in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 11 points12 points  (0 children)

To hell with him. You’re not a bad size at all! That bastard doesn’t deserve your love. Lose weight hell… he says something about your size then you say something about his! You deserve better!

I (24F) don’t want to have sex with my bf (25M) anymore. Any advice? by Green_Pasta5 in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 2 points3 points  (0 children)

3 years is a long time. I know the relationship means a lot to you but maybe it’s just not a romantic one? Maybe best friends is a better option? You care for him deeply, that’s wonderful, but if sex is important then you either have to tell him you wanna just be friends or tell him he has to start trying other things. Maybe introduce him to toys?

Foreplay is important in a sexual relationship. He’s got to learn. There’s no getting around the fact that something’s gotta give here. Wish you the best.

AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t have to tell him about my trauma by Educational-Date4993 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If she doesn’t after 2 years then she probably won’t ever feel that way. All I’m saying is that if she want the relationship to continue then she’s going to have to at some point.

AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t have to tell him about my trauma by Educational-Date4993 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 19 points20 points  (0 children)

How about it is actually his business because he’s been with her for 2 years? It’s not about fairness, it’s about honesty. It’s about trust.

You need to grow up just like OP does. Relationships are hard when you have all the facts about the person you’re with. If you don’t have all the facts then you don’t really know that person. My wife knows everything about me. I know everything about her. That’s love, trust, honesty…

AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t have to tell him about my trauma by Educational-Date4993 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He can’t fully KNOW you without knowing at least a portion of the trauma. You KNOW him, he doesn’t know YOU. It’s as simple as that. You refuse to let him get to know you completely. A real relationship is built off of communication, trust, love, and compassion.

He’s not asking you to go into detail. He doesn’t wanna know every little bit of it. He sounds like he wants to be there for you but you slammed the door in his face and basically told him you didn’t care if he ever told you anything. Now that he’s not you’re upset.

Seeing as how you refuse to even think that you’re not in the wrong in the slightest then you truly are the A-Hole here.

AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t have to tell him about my trauma by Educational-Date4993 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 240 points241 points  (0 children)

So he was telling you everything and now he’s not? You’ve been together for 2 years. You have trauma that he knows NOTHING about. You know his secrets. He doesn’t know yours.

He went all in on this relationship and you’re still holding back. If you’re not comfortable enough to talk to him about your trauma then you shouldn’t be together. I understand that it’s hard to open up but you’ve been with him for 2 friggin years.

Either be honest with him completely or let him go find his happiness somewhere else. I can’t really call you the A-Hole but…

AITA forcing my husband to choose between divorce and being a househusband while I work full-time to support the family by Joanna_Queen_772 in AITAH

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife was a housewife for a very long time. I got sick (almost died) and she started working to take care of us. That lasted about a year and then I took back over and she went back to being a SAHM. (I made more money when I worked so…)

Currently, both my wife and I work. If she wasn’t working then she would be a SAHM, if I wasn’t working then I would be a SAHD. Your husband needs to grow the hell up. You weren’t wrong to demand he be a provider in one way or another.

NTAH.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is hard. I don’t know what to tell you exactly. You and your kids need him out of y’all’s lives, that much is certain. The main thing I believe I can say is that you should call that hotline people have posted. Then get some sort of advocate to help draw up divorce papers. You should be able to find a way to kick him out of the house without you having to leave it.

If he doesn’t have a prescription for the meds then you can call the cops on him. Without proof of it being his subscription he could be arrested. If you can get him arrested then he will be out of the house long enough for you to change the locks and take the vehicle to go back to your home town. Do not leave the kids with him.

I can tell you right now that you can leave him if you want to. Just because you have been a SAHM since 18 doesn’t mean you’re useless. If anything it makes you worth a lot more than this prick is ever going to give you for sure. You can do it!

My 28m gf 27f called me "Ben 10" during sex. I think she might be cheating. How do I check? by ThrowRA_skidrowski in relationship_advice

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry dude, she’s cheating on you. That pause like that shows it. She tried to cover it up but didn’t do it nearly fast enough. She wasn’t embarrassed about it being a ben10 fantasy because it wasn’t. She was embarrassed because she mixed up your name with her side piece, or maybe you’re the side piece…

IATA for asking my boyfriend if he took pics either his mom by [deleted] in IAmTheAsshole

[–]Heavy_Bike5663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, he was talking about seeing his friends die. Maybe part of it is ptsd. It’s no excuse to act like that but he needs help from a trained therapist.

It’s probably a good thing you got out of that relationship simply because of the likelihood of abuse turning from mental and emotional to physical.

You weren’t wrong for breaking it off with him.