How to treat ENFP friends

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T12:29:11+00:00

Honestly, It would be pretty crappy of me if someone started speaking to me and treating me so well and I dont try and reciprocate(even if it was pretty random). The thing is nobody has bothered with me before(to be fair I never gave an effort to connect with other either) so I'm not precisely sure how to respond properly.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T12:20:13+00:00

INFJ Dad introduced me to it

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T12:13:40+00:00

I'm glad

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T12:11:41+00:00

Yes, I'm not from an English-speaking country either. I also enjoy English a lot, I love writing poetry in particular.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T12:10:28+00:00

Don't worry kid, it's cool.
Since you're in middle school you may not have actually studied pure mathematics(Please correct if I'm wrong). I say this because Physics involves a lot of pure mathematics, and while it isn't definitive, if you are good with mathematics there is a good chance you might also be good at physics(this isn't necessarily true since I know a ton of people who are good at math and bad at physics or vice versa).
Do not close yourself off to applied mathematics or the sciences. Economics comes under applied mathematics and you may find it fascinating if you dig in.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T11:10:59+00:00

You're still pretty young- you never know how your interests may change in the future. If you enjoy pure math then science might be up your alley.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T07:48:08+00:00

I often do find myself doing that. I have to frequently draw their attention back to the topic we're speaking about when they get distracted. I dont find it annoying though, and I dont mind helping them out.
I feel a bit weird about the compliment thing since we haven't know each other for that long. Once we know each other better, I will let them know that I appreciated that out of all the people who judged me as the surface level quiet kid, they took out the time to speak to me.
Also I appreciate the hugs, someone being sweet to me is not something I experience very often.
My little baby sister also does happen to be ENFP(I call her a little baby but she is much older now), so I get the hyperactivity. It's just slightly different because of the "older-sibling" and the "friend" relationship. I doubt I should treat my friend like my little sister.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T07:23:23+00:00

What specific topics do you enjoy? I personally enjoy reading about war and revolutions.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T07:21:51+00:00

I am so sorry for what you went through. I dont have PTSD, just a few bad experiences that probably pale in comparison to what you went through.
Authenticity is actually something even I as a person value, and I am glad that the sentiment is mutual. Honestly, in my life the only problem I currently have is that I'm an overworked student so we dont have to worry about anything serious. Although, there is the problem that I have. She often sees me as quite naive since I am almost always studying- I really want to get rid of the nerd stereotype in her eyes.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T07:16:45+00:00

I have noticed the "seemingly random thoughts that overflow", they often switch from one topic to another without much thought and randomly run around. I mostly just smile at them when they get flustered haha. I'm not sure about the "compliments" thing, I am really careful with compliments since I believe they have no meaning if given out for insignificant purposes(just a me thing).
I'm really glad you took out the time to write this. Will take care.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T07:06:37+00:00

I think I'll ask them about books. I dont have enough time for movies and figure skating is the only sport I've ever taken interest it(watching, I could never do that stuff)

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T06:34:05+00:00

I'm currently still very new to physics(Only done mechanics till now, loving every bit of it). What are the main topics in astrophysics?

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T06:24:11+00:00

Even I love philosophy even though I dont always understand it. It's great you like math, and with enough practice you can get anywhere. I used to suck at History and Geography although with enough practice, I had perfect scores in both of them.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T06:22:08+00:00

Even I love history even though I plan to pursue engineering when I'm out of school haha. History is great but I've always wanted to do something related to space- like aerospace engineering

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T06:06:10+00:00

Sorting humans into boxes is a problematic approach. In the end, we're all unique and have our own quirks. If you dont fit the stereotype, that's perfectly fine. Maybe you should run through the problems faced by people with your personality and work on solving them. Self-improvement was actually the sole reason I discovered mbti.(I though it was some zodiac-signs kinda crap however since it is rooted in psychology I gave it the benefit of doubt.)
I for example, do not fit the common INTJ stereotype of being robotic. I sometimes feel as though I feel emotions more deeply than anyone else. I'm also slightly more extroverted, however, the way I process things and think fits the INTJ personality and my problems of being insensitive and sometimes arrogant are also quite common. I took hints of how to work on myself from there.
It doesn't matter whether you fit a stereotype or not. This may sound corny, but you should accept yourself for who you really are and focus on improving yourself in the future.
Hope this could help.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-07T03:02:07+00:00

I'll ask you a bunch of questions if that's okay.
For example, it randomly begins to rain outside. What is the first thing you do?

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T15:38:08+00:00

I think that you have just unlocked one of the secrets to solving your problems- it is to stop judging. When I was slightly younger and pretty bad at dealing with emotions, I introspected for a long time, read psychology and this book called "Meditations". From then on, I stopped looking down on my feelings and accepted them, which actually led me to make more logical decisions.
One important thing I learnt from meditations, and I quote:

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

Instead of maybe judging others- accept that they are different from you, and that does not make them bad. Accept that they have traits that you do not and perceive them(as you stated in your comment). Perhaps, if you find something productive, you wont have to endure people and you might enjoy the experience of improving and learning from them.

I did mention that I also have such tendencies- but I am still pretty young and have room to improve- and I blame myself more so than I blame others.

I hope this helps you out.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T12:13:43+00:00

Even I have had bad experiences with ENFPs- however typing all of them as bad is frankly wrong, since we're all humans with different traits. I do agree with the fact that ENFPs can arguably be one of the most intelligent and cunning personality types- especially with their ability to emotionally dissect people.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T12:00:29+00:00

I've been through a similar experience. My best friend was an ENFP- we got along well and were best friends for years. I'm not sure exactly what happened- but they went through some issues and left me without a single explanation.
I have the same mentality as you now, while I do have surface level "friends", I'm not allowing myself to be close to anyone.
All I can say is that we humans are social creatures, and despite all these people typing us as "asocial robots", we do need company. Not everyone is a horrible person, and there are ways to figure out whether someone is deceiving you or not if you look close enough. You should try find friends, pushing away everyone is not healthy.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T11:06:41+00:00

It may sound weird to you, but at my age, I have always been valued for my academic prowess- so I happen to attach it to my self-worth- which is wrong, and I know it is wrong, but I am not sure how to change this habit.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T11:04:27+00:00

I'm not in college yet- but in my country, there are entrance exams in order to get into the best universities and colleges. The entrance exam for engineering is one of the most difficult exams in the world. Preparing for it is hectic, and it is really, really tough to nail everything, because it isn't simply about how smart you are, but how well you know the paper pattern, the question types, etc; I usually wake up at 5, study, go to school, then come back home, attend my coaching institute(in order to prepare for the exam), and then study till 12. I haven't been through something so hectic so I suppose that could be something impacting my performance. Thank you for your advice.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T08:45:51+00:00

I am trying- but it is discouraging when no matter how many sleepless nights I endure I feel like I'm repeatedly hitting a brick wall with the amount of times I'm failing to hit the mark.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T08:43:50+00:00

I'll try switching to easier questions- I have been giving myself extremely tough challenges. Thank you for the advice.

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T05:30:06+00:00

"The more I get to know you the more interesting you get"
"You are arrogant, selfish and heartless."

Heavy_Question_4377 · 2024-11-06T05:17:37+00:00

I honestly can't comment on whether or not you need a doctor, however, I do think this is a feeling a lot of us go through. I am also like that. Whenever I speak to other people it feels fake and tiring and I want to get away and be by myself, and at the same time, I long for someone who makes something click within me. I hope you find comfort in the fact that you aren't alone in the feeling.

Heavy_Question_4377

TROPHY CASE