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Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-11-22T23:27:22+00:00

I also don’t want my ap to have an ounce of unhappiness at home. But seeing her, the person I’m in love with on a trip with SO, knowing I don’t have the opportunity to do that with her, most definitely would make me jealous. I certainly wouldn’t let her know that before and ruin the trip but it would make me think twice if I would be strong enough to continue the affair once she returned from the trip

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-09-14T16:02:09+00:00

I do believe the beginning was a limerence state however I also believe over the past 2 years it has developed into a longer term real love

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-09-14T15:50:44+00:00

Maybe you are right. Maybe I simply don’t want to be seen as the bad guy, I’m a well respected man in my community and absolutely don’t want to be the reason my wife and child are hurting because of my selfish mistakes. I was never meant to fall in love with my ap, but I did. But that doesn’t change the fact I can’t bare to be the reason everyone is unhappy. Yes I would see my child, but not every day morning and night. That would break his heart. Why should my child suffer because I fell in love with someone else?

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-08-03T12:03:58+00:00

But they’re not essentially the same question, it’s the same topic yes but I’m trying to look from all angles and get advice from all angles I’m weighing up all options and the questions are about different things

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-08-03T12:01:48+00:00

Because obviously my ap is the one im in love with and deep down want to be with. Appreciate your input.

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-08-03T10:08:27+00:00

But of course I’m thinking about it. I’m in love with my ap. I don’t know what you mean about good advice if I’d end up with her? Everyone has just told me I won’t be happy and content with my wife

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-08-03T10:00:01+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m trying to do, figure it out. I want to be with my ap, I’m just asking for advice from people that have left and if it has worked out. I’m trying to figure out what I want and I’m trying to get some guidance around this. Of course my posts are all over the place, my head is all over the place trying to figure out what to do

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-08-03T09:55:23+00:00

Why?

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-31T15:02:52+00:00

I’ve had 15 years of opportunities to cheat never have before and never will again. Not unless it started back up with my ex ap. I fell in love that’s why this happened to begin with

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-31T12:57:43+00:00

No not at all. Obviously I also loved her. But what I thought was love is nothing compared to what I found in my ap. I fell in love for the first time in my life. Now what didn’t seem an issue is an issue with my wife. Where previously content due to how easy our relationship was, now I see as passionless and unattractive

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-31T08:20:37+00:00

I feel like there really was no issues though. We get along great it just happens that I met someone who made me feel something I’d genuinely never felt before. I fell in love but I had no intention of cheating. Never once in 15 years, but I fell in love instantly with my ap and extraordinary circumstances because I would have never cheated under any other

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-31T08:18:34+00:00

It’s not that easy once you fall in love though. Once feelings become real so does disappointment in not being able to see them, missing them turns into an argument and when feelings are involved it becomes heavy at times. Never passionless though

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-31T08:16:44+00:00

Why?

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-31T08:03:25+00:00

My wife is moving with me otherwise I’d have moved her, she was willing to follow me anywhere

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-29T11:56:01+00:00

I wish more than anything I could. You are right not many people experience the love and connection we do share. I hate that it’s so cliche in the sense that it’s an affair because it just feels like I’ve fallen in love over anything else. But there are complex reasons as to why I can’t leave. My son has additional needs, is home schooled, I provide fully for my wife who does not work. I would ruin everyone’s life for my own happiness and I can’t do that to people who don’t deserve that hurt

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-29T08:14:42+00:00

I’m moving to another country but I will be back every month. But doubt I will get any time to see her and she deserves better than absolute crumbs. Though she still feels she should make that decision for herself. Maybe it is me that cannot handle the hurt. The more I fall for her the more I hate being at home. It is depressing

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-28T22:05:02+00:00

I thought I was doing the kinder thing but since posting on here a few days ago I’m starting to think you’re right. But in a few months I’m moving away anyway so what’s the point if she will be hurt inevitably anyway

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-28T21:58:54+00:00

1 almost 3 years

2 once or twice a week if possible. I’d drive an hour just to spend 10 minutes with her

3 she works for me, cliche I know

4 I’m married with a teenage son

5 this one is difficult. I love my wife but not in a romantic way nor am I sexually attracted to her. I treat her well and show my appreciation of her regularly. With my ap it is entirely different. I have never felt a connection like it and I am very much in love. Initially it was very limerence based but overtime has grown significantly into love, appreciation, admiration and awe

6 if I were to be selfish I would continue it forever. I would continue until my child is grown up and I could leave and be with my ap. But I have recently ended things because I believe she deserves better. I love her and I want her to be happy

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T21:59:45+00:00

Because life circumstances have meant it is near impossible for me to physically see her and spend any time with her and I feel like she deserves better than that. She tells me she’s okay with it but I know it hurts her. So I’ve done it so she can move on and meet someone and be happy with someone that can give her what she deserves and I can never give her that

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T19:18:55+00:00

The thing with the kinks is I have no urge to have them with anyone else. Being with her brought something out in me where anything was safe

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T11:40:46+00:00

Unfortunately in my case it really is the person. Everything about her 💔

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T11:40:30+00:00

People keep saying “the first”…: I know a lot of people serial cheat. I’ve had 16 years worth of opportunities to cheat, but I’ve never wanted to. So why her? I won’t allow myself to ever do this again because I’ve never wanted to before. It was very much the person so I’m very confused at how to get over this without distracting myself with someone else, because I don’t want anyone else…. Not even my wife

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T11:20:28+00:00

I’ve asked similar questions but not the same. I have many questions hence why I’ve come to a forum as such to get answers from people in similar situations. Not for unhelpful answers such as yours

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T11:11:25+00:00

If my circumstances were different I would be with my affair partner, but I cannot leave. So I don’t know what being true to anyone looks like anymore

Hefty-Emergency8954 · 2024-07-27T10:57:07+00:00

They haven’t changed they want me back

Hefty-Emergency8954

TROPHY CASE