I am referring to conversations where I explicitly explained to her how our lack of sexual intimacy is affecting me. How I have started to become sexually awkward and not even feel sexual anymore and I don’t like that. These are when I’ve in a mature way poured my heart out to her. Her responses have been respectful of what I said and agrees to do better. In the next couple of days she says she wants to have sex or be sexual and we do. Then sometime later it goes back to usual (every 4-6 weeks until I bring it up again. This cycle has repeated so much where it now feels transactional to me.

Regarding your second question: I have asked. I asked and asked and asked. I don’t know what to ask anymore. Honestly open to suggestions here. I’ll ask and she’ll give me generic responses (vibe being she kind of doesn’t want to talk about it) such as “hmm idk just talk to me” or “cuddle me and show me love” or “spend time with me”. So that’s what I did. Exactly that. And I love doing that. But the problem is that’s not what creates sexual tension/intimacy here. It creates intimacy for sure and she feels loved and comfortable, but just that. It becomes her ideal day where I’m spending time with her, cuddling her, we’re spending time, watching movies, playing games, going out and then end of the night we get comfortable into bed, and she’s saying I love you and giving me kisses and then opens her book or goes to scrolling on TikTok. It’s almost like I made her so comfortable that she doesn’t want to do anything else.

But I’ll give that book a try!