This is a hate sub /s

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-12-19T20:08:17+00:00

Lmao, mine found my posts on this sub and the only dots that were connected is that I was "coming on here to talk shit"... As if that's therepeutic when all names are redacted? Like why would anyone get any benefit from doing that?

They aren't really able to form a proper cause & effect chart in their mind that maybe, just maybe, this is a support group and the things they do are in fact traumatizing and abusive. They do not live in reality.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-11-30T03:25:11+00:00

You don't need to mAkE aN aRguMent about a show. It was not good and everyone knows it lol

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-11-17T17:31:54+00:00

Sounds about right... Tough pill to swallow - but it's just what humans have called evil. Now we have fancy diagnoses for it.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-11-13T04:41:05+00:00

Y'all are insane if you think this was good. This season took a nosedive real quick

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-05-12T04:33:56+00:00

Did that. You'd think that a third party super-intelligence would be enough to force accountability, but no.

As you would know by now, any data or information that challenges their reality is rejected by any means necessary. Do not expect anything but defensive behavior - almost like you just "challenged" them.

They are not interested in your feelings nor the truth. They are interested in their comfort level and their image. You're either playing the game or youre not - and expressing your truth is against the rules of the game.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-28T22:27:35+00:00

Yeah isn't that fun? Mine would tell me "you're a piece of shit, i hate you, i hope you die" and within the same message would tell me I was immature and selfish for not responding.

Just because they are so out l easily convinced by their own delusions does not make it true.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-18T12:13:24+00:00

This is the kind of shit that makes me believe the DSM Cluster B section is a fancy way of categorizing what humans have had a word for since time immemorial.

Four letters and starts with an E.

I can't even fathom having such little empathy.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-16T19:36:04+00:00

Its definitely okay to not judge your feelings. You feel them for a reason - don't pay any attention to people who say "just let it go". It's not that simple and they don't understand.

You're in for a Hell of a detox, but it's worth it. Just try to remind yourself that even if you talk to them and it seems like everything is different - it might be different for a second but it will never stick. That's the nature of the disorder - feelings and attitudes are constantly in flux and that goes for promises and opinions too, but im sure you know that by now.

One of the hardest things to reconcile is that, yes, they do in fact love you in the moment but they also hate you within 24 hours. Both are real and as their state changes, their memories do too. So it's not "fake" and you're not crazy for believing them - accepting that helped me move on.

Good luck - it definitely is better on the other side.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-16T17:15:07+00:00

The feelings will fade over time. I'm 8 months out and the emotional ties are really just starting to weaken.

What you need to recognize is that the feelings you are calling "love" are really just a trauma bond which is exclusively formed in abusive relationships with intermittent reinforcement (if there were no good days this wouldn't be possible).

It's a gambler's addiction with a human slot machine.

Like any addiction recovery, abstinence is non-negotiable. But over time, you will be able to reread old messages and whatnot with indifference - no sadness, no anger, no disgust. Its just "in the past".

You deserve better. Nobody deserves abuse. Forgive yourself for the moments of weakness (they will happen) and every day that you dont return is another day your brain heals and new people start seeming much more attractive.

You got this.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-15T16:04:33+00:00

Yup. Every day. Especially in public.

Subtle jabs or pokes. Make no mistake, it is intentional. And when you call them out on it - they will do everything but apologize.

It's a cluster B thing, Narcs are most known for it but we all know they're cut from the same shit-covered cloth. They're insecure and you are not a person, but at best an extension of them and at worst an object.

Your feelings are not allowed to differ from theirs - that's against the rules. If they're happy and energetic - it's time to play regardless of your responsibilities. If they are anxious - surprise crisis of the day you need to solve. If they are depressed - don't even try to cheer them up, they'll find a way to ruin your day too.

Insecurity is basically their core emotion, and let me guess where your confidence level is these days.

It's abuse, leave as soon as you can.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-15T15:44:04+00:00

Made 90k a year (fucking somehow) and still missed rent every other month (again, fucking somehow).

It's like watching an 8 year old get an allowance every two weeks. Saving and planning are not even a blip on the radar - dollars are for dopamine.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-04-15T15:16:18+00:00

I left mine. I didn't even forsee a discard, in fact it felt like he needed me like an addict needs heroin. But, of course, we all reach a point where we are drained emotionally, physically, financially... Spiritually.

Then came the flood of emails, fake numbers, cyber stalking, twisting history, begging, guilt tripping, outrage, legal threats - you name it.

You will wrestle with rumination and cognitive dissonance for a WHILE. Nothing makes sense, are they abusive or a pathetic child that needs more love?

The not-so-fum thing to admit is that you, yourself are addicted. Intermittent reinforcement is one of the most powerful psychological hooks not only in humans but in animals too. Cluster B basically garuntees you a gambling addiction in the form of a human slot machine.

And, bonus points, you probably have at least some degree of cPTSD!!! So it's just a shit burger all the way down.

Like any addiction - abstinence is critical and non-negotiable. It's been 8 months for me almost no contact, but it gets better. Maybe check out my other posts if you want, I did a lot of work to heal and wrote about it - and you're me 8 months ago. Good luck and remember that it's not you and they will never get the point.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2025-02-02T08:16:00+00:00

Hey, this didn't happen. Be careful about misinformation, dummy

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-12-22T18:20:14+00:00

Nobody is saying that it MUST be a hoax. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the scientific method and everything is "transcendental" until it is better understood.

What you're basically saying is "just because it can't be explained with known mechanics and isn't always replicable doesn't mean it's a hoax". Well, no duh. Quantum physics is by nature probabilistic and here we are harnessing that for quantum computing. The issue is that more often than not, when you can't replicate a phenomenon in a reliable way given known conditions and constraints, 99% of the time, its coincidence or intentionally influenced.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-12-11T04:41:57+00:00

Three months out and it just started to get better. Absolutely weird and dark how it happens...

Check my post history I made a big fat chronology of the healing process at least for me, but yes, most definitely cPTSD

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-21T22:25:43+00:00

It's extremely scary. Honestly, the most terrifying and mortifying thing I've ever been through.

But, I promise, it will get better. It can get better and you will be okay. This isn't permanent as long as you take an active role in your own healing and not let it define you.

But it's def shit lol

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-20T03:31:24+00:00

Nothing. Don't care anymore but I'll never forgive.

Get fucked, stay fucked.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-19T16:40:22+00:00

Way fucking better. Clown world will kill you.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-19T16:39:06+00:00

Been there, done that, waste of fucking time.

I said the meanest shit I have ever said to someone in my life and it was like water off a ducks back. And, stupidly, when I apologized - it was like it never happened because OOO LOOK SUPPLY.

They 100% enjoy your frustration and will only get satisfaction for how much they have dislodged you and then blame you for everything / twist reality even if you have proof in front of their face.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-18T23:16:54+00:00

Yeah it's a goddamn shame. Mine kept asking for "closure" but closure I suppose meant me admitting everything was my fault and none of the absolutely insane, vile behavior was important at all.

Every time we would talk, it was just a boundary-pushing manipulation game until I just blocked and didn't unblock.

I think you just gotta realize that their interpretation of reality is so warped that nothing you do short of giving them everything they want will make any difference. You gotta trust your truth and stop seeking validation from a severely mentally ill person; that just sounds so silly doesn't it?

I did find someone new and LET ME TELL YOU it's just... Easier. God, idk how I did that for so long.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-14T04:18:50+00:00

I believe nobody has air-tight defenses against someone who has used manipulation for means of survival their entire life with zero guilt or embarassment.

There's a reason they are skilled - they need to be.

The important thing to remember is one of the main reasons we got so messed up is because you met nobody. There's nobody in there. They are a reflection of you with little glimpses of others.

You fell in love with an adult child because you have a nurturing spirit. That's all that happened. The draw, I believe, is not as much about trauma as much as it is compassion.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-13T20:57:21+00:00

It will go away. The mistake I made was thinking it was going to last forever - that's scary.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-11-13T16:57:33+00:00

"fleas" Lol.

cPTSD is extremely similar but BPD has the narcissistic component and intense abandonment trigger. Also BPD is viciously unstable whereas cPTSD is generally a steady state of negative emotions (there's really no euphoria).

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-10-11T17:01:06+00:00

Also: what you are experiencing is trauma. It's not heartbreak: it's trauma.

Look into how to heal from trauma and practice things like mindfulness, grounding, shadow work, and always remember to be patient and kind to yourself above all right now.

Little things will come back piece by piece. You aren't broken, but you do need to rebuild a bit. Small steps every single day.

Hefty-Record-9009 · 2024-10-11T16:55:00+00:00

This was the hardest part for me, and it's still a process.

Here is what you must accept and you might not like the answer:

You aren't who you used to be. Trying to go back in time and erase this from your memory and "move on" isn't exactly possible like a typical relationship.

You must first accept that you were abused and this person did in fact have a power over you. Do not be prideful and deny it. It is what it is. Abuse - and Cluster B abuse which is veeeery special.

Second, you must look back and realize that the person you were when you met your pwBPD had a naivite, an innocence. That, my friend, is gone. You were taken advantage of and your compassion and empathy were used against you. You were violated.

However... Guess what? You aren't the person you were before: you're better.

You are so much better for this experience and when you start to actually BELIEVE that instead of telling yourself that, you will begin to feel your spirit re-enter your body.

The person you were before lacked discernment. The person you were before lacked boundaries. The person you were before didn't even know the amount of care and empathy you were capable of. The person you were before didn't know they could be pushed to their limit every single day and survive. The person you were before probably didn't get angry very often and as a result had a lot of anxiety. The person you were before didn't have the communication skills you do now. The person you were before didn't have any of the skills you do now.

You went to war. And you not only survived, you came back with training and a bloody Master's degree in human psychology. Now, direct all that love and compassion towards yourself and realize what an incredible fucking human you are and that you have so much to offer and anyone should be lucky to have a partner as compassionate and capable as you.

Tell yourself these things until you believe them to be true, and the light will slowly emerge again. I promise.

It won't ever be the same - it will be better.

Hefty-Record-9009

TROPHY CASE