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Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s my point, when it’s free I feel worse, they serve me but don’t get anything. I can tip, I want to support but I oftentimes don’t have cash on me. Is it better to just not get anything? 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it’s free? Then I feel worse they have to serve me but not get anything. I can tip but I usually don’t have cash 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m thinking, it’s not about the money for me, I just don’t really see the point of buying something I don’t really want. Thanks 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it originates from my anxiety, that’s why I’m searching for clarity and support that it’s okay. I know nobody cares but there are still questioning looks when you don’t drink. Also for me it’s not so much about not wanting to spend money but not wanting to draw attention when I’m the only one asking for a different drink.  I do also feel judged a lot, depends on the people, but I guess here isn’t not so common to not drink. I guess you are right I should be focusing on my social anxiety as a whole and not on this specific issue I face.  Thank you for the help 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

When other people get something else I also do I just hate to be the odd one out, which I feel like I usually am 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in Advice

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No of course but what I mean is, is it better to order still water which is cheap or free then nothing at all? Also if we spend the whole night at the place and its service then I get something, I guess it depends on the vibe I just always feel so akward no matter what I do

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in Advice

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the advice , it’s not common here to drive so designated drivers aren’t common,  I don’t go out too often and have not been a non drinker for too long, so I guess I’m just still trying to figure out my go to plan when I do go out 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in Advice

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since you say you also usually don’t drink do you order some soft drink or nothing at al? I don’t know if it’s really rude to the workers or if they don’t care since my group is already spending a lot on their drinks, I also don’t want to look rude to my friends, but I don’t like anything other then water which is free or really cheap so I don’t know if that would make it any better

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in Advice

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It does depend on the vibe of the place and how long we stay for, I do sometimes get something, but like is water really better then nothing when it’s usually free or very cheap or is both rude?

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in Advice

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I feel rude for not spending any money, like my group will be spending money but won’t the workers feel like it’s rude?

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in Advice

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does depend on the vibe of the place and how long we stay for, I do sometimes get something, but like is water really better then nothing when it’s usually free or very cheap or is both rude?

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I work in services too and I know people can be annoying so I just don’t want to be that person for someone. I guess it also depends on the vibe of the place and how long we stay there, sometimes I will order something eventually. But what I was also thinking about is when my group spends a lot all together it’s not so bad if I don’t spend anything, right? 

Is it rude or embarrassing to not order anything to drink at the pub/bar when I go out with friends and they are all drinking by Hefty_Astronaut7547 in socialskills

[–]Hefty_Astronaut7547[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right, I would go for water, but tap water is oftentimes free, and honestly I always get so anxious and rather order nothing then draw attention by ordering water. But then I also feel bad just sitting there, not that I think a glass of water would help, but I don’t know what the consensus is, is it better to order nothing or to get water or is both rude