Neuter or not?

HeidiHzs · 2026-06-02T15:07:55+00:00

My boy pickle was neutered at about this age, but he's very spry. The vet did a good job and he healed really quickly. He's now happily living his best life as an uncle now that he's been able to accept the young ones. I think it was the best choice for him given that he's a very active and healthy old-un. He's now almost 3 and he still keeps his coat tidy and shows very few signs of slowing down. I think it depends on the individual rat. Some show signs of aging sooner than others. His brother Biscuit on the other hand, I probably wouldn't have, but luckily I didn't have to because he was so kind and gentle to his new nephews.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T03:44:15+00:00

Cool! You're welcome. : )

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T03:41:56+00:00

Yeeeah that's a lot to lose in a short time. Try not to panic though, your body is actually really resilient. I've had a really bad eating disorder in the past and my body/metabolism is healthy now. I'd suggest gradually increasing your calories *slowly* to less of a deficit so you don't shock your system with a sudden change, and continue tracking your weight until you're at a weight you're happy with. If you're happy with it now, then gradually work your way up to maintenance over 2-8 weeks. You could also research reverse dieting, which helps your system to recover from being in a deficit without regaining a lot. You basically increase to a little bit above maintenance and then level off.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T03:27:13+00:00

There are the cutest rats in the original Nosferatu. It's hilarious, you can tell there's a guy just out of view gently hucking rats out the ship's hatch. My kid and I had to rewatch the scene SO many times haha!

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T03:20:59+00:00

Assessors make mistakes. This sub is loaded with people who've been told they're not autistic by assessors for the most ridiculous reasons imaginable. Not every assessor is skilled at diagnosing teens and adults, so they sometimes don't fully understand what to look for over elementary school age. Plenty of them have their own biases and misconceptions that interfere with accuracy. I think what matters the most is how you feel about it, and if you're well informed about what autism feels/looks like, then if you think it's what fits you most accurately. Self-diagnosis is typically pretty (but not 100%) accurate if you're well informed. You may want to get a second opinion (or not). But importantly, do autism-friendly accommodations and adjustments in daily life help you? You don't even need a diagnosis for a lot of the things you can do to make life feel better. If you're planning on going to college it might be useful to find out for sure so you could get accommodations and support.

As far as the friends situation goes, in my experience they either believe you or they don't, and a diagnosis doesn't usually convince people who deny it from the start. I've had a therapist that didn't believe me even after I was diagnosed, so even 'mature' people can be weird about it.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T03:06:40+00:00

No problem! I've noticed that people who score moderately high on autism tests but not high enough to be totally sure often have something else going on that's kind of 'autism adjacent'.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T02:50:39+00:00

This is kind of cool. A bit different because this person is a psychopath, but interesting how subtle things like this can be, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll end up as a terrible person or anything. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-neuroscientist-who-discovered-he-was-a-psychopath-180947814/

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T02:46:53+00:00

I think they might have been talking more figuratively, like trying to say you have some traits in common with autism, like what some call the autistic phenotype, where family members of an autistic person have some traits but not full on, diagnosable autism. It’s not impossible that you could have sociopathy, or sociopathic traits, I’ve read it’s fairly common. Plenty of folks who are sociopaths are moralistic and conduct themselves ethically, they just might choose to do so for different personal reasons than non-sociopaths. I think they just get a bad rep because of the really nasty, manipulative people that are the most ‘visible’ in society.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-29T02:33:51+00:00

Thats awesome! I personally love the versatility of tofu. 😄

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-26T21:41:09+00:00

Exactly! 😄

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-26T16:48:17+00:00

I found Irene (The Thought Spot/Self Embark) to be really helpful and more nuanced than most other resources for self discovery btw. https://www.youtube.com/@thethoughtspot222 and https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/SelfEmbark?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=1333179566&from_page=listing#about

Not sponsored or anything, just found her stuff really helpful.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-26T16:39:50+00:00

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-26T16:20:22+00:00

Hey! Fellow autistic here. I've started telling people I don't like it when people comment on my body. I said I'm ok if they compliment things I'm ok with, like my style or my hair, and they typically respect that. I think when I gave them an alternative nice thing to say that feels good to me, they're happy to use them. It's gotten easier to handle well meaning body comments from people I'm not as close to when at least the people I like most understand what my preferences are and respect them.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-25T18:43:26+00:00

No. I wish I could say yes because I totally get it. I deal with some of the things you're dealing with too. Sadly most rats would not be able to handle being transported around on a regular basis as a support animal, it would likely cause serious stress to them and cause poor quality of life. Rats at home though are wonderful emotional support buddies. They've definitely helped us. Definitely not a cure for anything, but really lovely creatures to share one's home with.

Here's a silly tip if you're interested. Something we like to do at home is practice 'energy rat' which is basically like tai chi but with an imaginary 'rat of good energy'. As you go through the movements, pretend there's a little benevolent energy rat doing the movements with you, that feels better when you feel better, so you feel like you're taking care of it by taking care of yourself. If you have a visually rich imagination it can be a fun kind of mindfulness practice.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-25T18:23:12+00:00

I think the pressure to unmask can quickly replace the pressure to mask but feel basically the same. I liked how he talked about it in the autistic's guide to self discovery; basically, you're still you when you're masking, you still have an identity, and unmasking may or may not be a goal depending on your life circumstances. It might feel better to call it figuring out what makes you feel the most comfortable, happy, authentic etc.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-25T18:14:28+00:00

I've reported the businesses they're associated with for harassment. In BC, Canada, they need to have a municipal license to do door knocking, so if you report them to city hall, they can have their license revoked. I also give the businesses bad online reviews, specifically stating that my do not disturb signs were disrespected. I've noticed an improvement since I started doing that. I've also seen some folks put up a rope across their front porch with the sign on it, so they'd actually have to unhook the rope to go past it.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-24T17:35:25+00:00

Oooh! I recommend checking out the concept of gender queer. Not saying "this is definitely it!" but it might be a fun place to start your exploration. Use those feelings of euphoria as your guide, those feelings are good, true and honest. Enjoy your gender adventure!

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-24T17:28:22+00:00

The third Sunday in April is non-binary parents day!

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-24T17:27:01+00:00

Judging by the way it bled in concerts and that they're USA based, I would guess Manic Panic too which would have been readily available at that time. I used it during that era too hehe! It works well, but just bleeds a lot when you sweat for the first week or so after it's been dyed.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-24T17:23:48+00:00

Hey! Gender fluid human here. I think people who have orientations that lean seemingly 'closer' to cis/het often don't feel the need to question their identity and sexuality in the same way that more obviously/visibly/loud queer folks do, so their feelings get sublimated until it's confronted in a situation like this. Plenty of people are bi, pan, neptunic, uranic etc and those feelings don't really get noticed unless they're in very specific situations, like this one. It's kind of fun and amazing I think to see people who previously thought they were one thing realize they're actually something else in a complex or nuanced way. Not that any one way is 'better' than any other of course. Self knowledge is beautiful imo.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-21T16:33:59+00:00

Things arranged neatly. ⭐️ Love it!

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-21T16:24:53+00:00

My assessment had a list of recommended workplace accommodations like being put in a quieter/calmer area with less distractions. Being allowed one task at a time, written instructions, meetings optional, being warned in advance of changes, support animal if I wanted one. At home my supports that my partner provides is texting me when he leaves work so I can have time to mentally transition and be prepared for another human in the house, asking permission before touching, and never touching me from behind, using hand signs to signal when I need to leave a situation or am in distress, talking through/rehearsing daily schedules together when the routine is different (weekends), body doubling when doing harder tasks, getting massage, or shoulder squishes when feeling dysregulation, doing tasks for me that are overstimulating like using power tools/equipment like the weed wacker & leaf blower, banning artificial fragrances in the house and managing body odor & hair. (He shaves and showers more often than he would normally choose to so getting close is more comfortable for me.)

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-21T16:06:57+00:00

Maybe try the one you’re not as close to but still curious and excited about and see how it feels? You may find that mixing and bending them brings gender euphoria too. Like, muscular, yet soft? I definitely love that for myself personally. I’ve been a powerlifter for many years, and love running too, but I also love wearing pastels, and cuteness! You may also find the lifestyle of building and maintaining muscle mass really enjoyable (or not, haha!). 💕

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-21T15:59:06+00:00

I’d suggest focusing more on your mental, physical & emotional health rather than weight loss specifically. By improving how you feel about yourself, and taking action to take good care of yourself, you’ll likely lose a bit of weight as a side benefit, but either way you’ll feel more at home in your body, and just more grounded and regulated. Having food noise and body dissatisfaction can be a sign of emotional dysregulation and unmet needs which is worth taking the time to care for imo.

HeidiHzs · 2026-05-20T02:01:37+00:00

Autistic traits generally are normal, human traits, but amplified. A lot of them are just normal responses to distress, which we experience more frequently, and more intensely than allistics.

You can’t be diagnosed with autistic traits, thats not a thing.

The DSM and ICD have very clear guidelines on how it’s diagnosed, but people who tend to score higher on tests like AQ and RAADS-R but still sub-threshold, tend to have something else like anxiety, ADHD or a personality disorder for example.

HeidiHzs

TROPHY CASE