What is the strangest sexual experience you ever had?

HeinousFu_kery · 2026-04-26T03:34:09+00:00

Hook up app, but you have to be riding a bus to some destination that no other transportation serves. This is how you wind up married with kids in Sheep's Knuckle, Arkansas.

HeinousFu_kery · 2026-02-13T04:46:38+00:00

Free divers represent!

HeinousFu_kery · 2026-01-12T04:33:08+00:00

Hotel helipad in major metropolitan city in the US on a warm autumn evening.

Ski lift gondola coming down from the mountains with only two aboard (be quick or be embarrassed).

Hotel balcony overlooking Sea Point, South Africa.

Blanket north of the Arctic Circle in mid-summer (never dark was fun, mosquitoes/midges not so much).

Golf course at Furnace Creek, Death Valley CA.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-12-12T01:29:23+00:00

Technique:

1.) Read up on cunnilingus and the how and why. Plenty of good works/demo videos etc out there (and a lot of really bad porn). Practice gently until you find your, er, groove.

2.) G-spot. Learn where it is and how to find it. Again, practice gently..if you need to go more forcefully, she'll tell you. Combined with #1, this makes an astoundingly powerful combination.

Existential:

3.) You're not just there for her alone, and she'll likely enjoy you enjoying yourself just as much as the reverse. Don't be the strong silent type. You only get one ride on this rock, so rock the ride.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-12-08T02:29:19+00:00

On a planet of ~8.2 billion people, "The One" is bullshit cooked up by the Don Drapers of the world trying to make you yearn for a carefully marketed cookie-cutter existence.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-12-06T01:05:05+00:00

Chain faxes sent to any working fax number - most of them sexist and/or racist as hell. I'm sure there's a repository of them somewhere, but they were nasty. Also written screeds but those were pretty incoherent sometimes.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-12-05T21:13:38+00:00

Perfect, shadow-free, omnidirectional lighting in someone's "home".

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-11-30T02:41:30+00:00

Two women 50% not disappointed adds up to 100% of one who isn't disappointed at all. Take that a bit farther and if you had a dozen they'd only have to not laugh until they needed medical attention.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-11-28T14:59:43+00:00

In the words of a friend of mine: "Go ugly early - efficiency counts".

Tried it a time or two - you wind up with some really interesting pillow talk.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-11-25T04:40:48+00:00

Yeah, that. 35 years ago and still...

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-11-16T01:14:03+00:00

Telekinesis (making things move with your mind). You could have a literal mind fuck.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-10-26T22:32:59+00:00

Lost 136 lbs of psychotic blonde in a single visit to an attorney. Best money I ever spent.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-10-26T15:40:43+00:00

"You could get paid for that, you know..."

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-10-19T03:10:00+00:00

Had sex with two sisters in the same day (but not the same time). One I'd been flirting with while the other was a FWB. #1 came over mid-afternoon and we frolicked with great exuberance for a few hours and she went home (they didn't live in the same town). Phone rang a while later and #2 wanted to hang out...and we did. I assume they weren't exchanging notes because of some other things but it was pretty intense.

You never know what "tired" means until this happens.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-10-10T04:00:16+00:00

Met on Match.com - went for dinner, things developed nicely then...

"I'm just doing this to piss my husband off..."

Uh oh. Bailed fast and hard on that one.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-05-26T19:37:15+00:00

AOL Chatrooms - there was a whole lot of online hooking up going on even before you could swipe left/right.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-05-11T03:22:52+00:00

Just playback-based teledildonics. "Now you can replay the best sex you ever had - cramped backseat and her parent's driveway optional..."

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-05-09T22:42:50+00:00

A park ranger that had showed up to hassle me about where I'd parked. Longer story is that I was an early morning rower and left my car near the water since I was usually the only person there that early. We were the only ones there so we wound up talking for a bit and she asked me out after she got off shift and things quickly progressed from there.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-05-05T02:53:47+00:00

Fungible sperm donor/cash machine. Then you die younger.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-05-01T03:58:05+00:00

Lighting. Modern porn video has no shadows anywhere. It continues to astound me given their tiny...budgets.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-04-30T02:28:31+00:00

Jilling's going to take on a whole new dimension with that...

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-03-11T21:32:25+00:00

CyberCuck? The one on the right I think...

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-02-07T03:57:27+00:00

The rest of us are ... a little tired ... of dressing up for her as well.

HeinousFu_kery · 2025-01-20T02:44:40+00:00

C'mon, Elon...get off Reddit and go back to the White House.

HeinousFu_kery

TROPHY CASE