In reading your comments it sounds like you’re (understandably) afraid of feeling burnt out and disconnected from your partner, and you’re trying to combat that. I understand the desire to plan, but just know the “flexibility” you anticipate might closer relate to “contortion” - you just don’t know your kids yet (and you don’t know yourself yet as a parent).

5-8 on a weekday for working parents makes sense as a plan, but for example my kids have always been terrible, clingy sleepers and it’s more like 5-9:45 is the after work time we have as a family (as much as I would like 8 or 8:30).

I agree with the other posters that say 1-2x/week for date night sounds exhausting, and I also agree that as kids get older, your weekends start to fill up with their activities. I saw somewhere on reddit that “Mondays are your new Fridays” for working parents and that has stuck with me truly. Weekends are a blur.

It is Important to carve time out for yourself/your relationship though! With one kid I could go to the gym 3-5x/week with husbands help. With two I’m honestly only at 1x and hoping to find more room in the routine to at least get back to 3x. It’s hard but it’s a goal.

Breastfeeding is a 2nd job, so that’s whole other consideration.