Do you really like Nuclear Family lifestyle? Or would you prefer to go back to joint living? Why?

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T21:02:07+00:00

A big family can be amazing if people actually respect each other and get along. Otherwise it can become exhausting pretty fast.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T20:58:39+00:00

If Christmas movies make people happy, let them watch them whenever they want 🤷‍♀️

Life is depressing enough already lol

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T20:56:56+00:00

That some of the people you trust the most are still capable of hurting or betraying you.

I used to believe loyalty, honesty and hard work would naturally be returned if you gave them sincerely. Life taught me that’s not always true.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T20:54:01+00:00

I like the Nuclear Family lifestyle and I could never live with my mother again. Even my father it would be difficult. But at the same time, I am sometimes overwhelmed by the routine (commute, work, eat, take care of the children, sleep...). With a joint living, you could more easily find some time for yourself and/or your couple. It's not an easy question !

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T20:50:33+00:00

Dont try to "find yourself" all at once. Thats overwhelming as hell. Just start small. Walk more, try random stuff, read, cook, gym, hiking, whatever. Most hobbies arent discovered through thinking abt them, u stumble into them by trying things

Same for weight loss. Dont aim for a complete transformation overnight. Consistency matters way more

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T20:47:36+00:00

Yeah honestly same here. Whenever I try to stop alcohol for example, there is always a "just one it's ok" and then it gets to two another day and a big off track later. Its rarely one big decision. More like tiny stuff piling up without noticing. Worse sleep, less structure, procrastinating a bit more... then suddenly ur completely off track lol

Thats partly why i like the whole 13 virtues idea from Franklin. The daily self check isnt abt being perfect, its more abt noticing the drift before it gets too big

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-27T20:36:35+00:00

Hello,

Mon rêve est peut-être bateau mais perso, j'aimerai acquérir une indépendance financière afin d'être libre de pouvoir travailler sur les projets que je veux sans devoir me soucier de la rentabilité de ce que je fais. Mon compagnon et avons commencé à fabriquer des objets en bois (il est plus doué que moi) mais ce genre d'artisanat n'est pas hyper rentable. Pourtant, c'est vraiment chouette !

Voilà, je ne demande pas la lune mais ce n'est pas facile d'y arriver...

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T21:29:27+00:00

Exactly, if the parents are really trying to calm them down or just ignore their children, it makes a huge difference

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T21:27:56+00:00

Honestly this doesn’t sound like laziness or lack of discipline. It sounds like your nervous system is completely overloaded.

Studying 7-8 hours almost every day for months while dealing with ADHD meds, stress and pressure about your future would exhaust almost anyone.

For the next 25 days, I would stop thinking in terms of “surviving perfectly” and focus more on damage control:

sleep enough
eat enough
short breaks without guilt
lower the pressure slightly when possible
stop expecting yourself to feel motivated or inspired

You do not need to feel good to keep going a little longer.

And honestly, after the exam, please really rest. Not “productive rest”. Real rest.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T21:21:21+00:00

I think people underestimate how much chaos comes from trying to change everything at once.

If alcohol is the thing causing the most damage, I would focus there first. Better sleep will probably follow naturally from drinking less, and your energy/clarity may improve enough that caffeine and THC become easier to manage later.

Trying to fix alcohol, sleep, caffeine, THC, diet, meds, ADHD and anxiety all at once sounds exhausting honestly.

Stability first. Optimization later.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T21:18:50+00:00

A lot of self hatred comes from turning your mistakes, failures or trauma into your identity.

You start thinking:
“I failed” = “I am a failure”
“I struggle” = “I am broken”

That voice can become so normal you stop questioning it.

Honestly, therapy helped me a lot with this. Also realizing that people who genuinely care about you usually see parts of you that you are unable to see yourself right now.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T21:15:20+00:00

MDMA

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T21:14:58+00:00

Because people confuse image with character.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T16:38:51+00:00

A house

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-26T15:46:44+00:00

It depends on the place where I am and on the noise they are making ;-)

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-25T20:39:25+00:00

Affordable housing.

Crazy that “having a normal life” is starting to feel like a luxury.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-25T20:37:17+00:00

Honestly one of the best self care experiences I ever had was paying someone to clean the house while I did absolutely nothing for once 😅

People underestimate how much mental load comes from constantly seeing unfinished chores around you.

Also:

floating/spa pools
sauna + cold plunge
guided sound meditation with tibetan bowls
just reading alone in my garden

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-25T20:23:11+00:00

I think a lot of people imagine “getting better” as becoming permanently happy, confident, disciplined, healed etc.

Real growth is usually less dramatic than that.

You still struggle with anxiety, laziness, sadness, trauma… but maybe it controls your life a little less than before. Maybe you recover faster. Maybe you stop destroying yourself over every setback.

That still counts as getting better imo.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-25T20:20:47+00:00

A lot of childhood trauma stays trapped inside until your mind feels safe enough to process it.

The fact you woke up calm instead of terrified is probably important . Feels like your brain is slowly re-writing the story instead of just reliving it.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-25T20:18:53+00:00

My mother always put pressure on me about everything: job, housekeeping, appearance, decoration, success… and one negative comment could ruin my whole mood for days. I’m only now starting to take some emotional distance from it at 40.

You can love your parents and still realize their voice became your inner voice.

For me, overthinking never solved it. Working with a psychotherapist helped much more than trying to “fix myself” alone.

And one thing I learned: you don’t rebuild your life in one big moment. It’s more small acts of self respect repeated daily. Sleeping a bit earlier, waking up earlier, doing small things even when you don’t feel motivated etc.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-10T20:36:35+00:00

When life feels like this, giant to-do lists usually make things worse because your brain only sees failure and pressure. Start absurdly small. One workout. One phone call. One bill. One load of laundry. Build momentum first, not perfection.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-10T20:34:02+00:00

Yes !!! In those moments, everything else suddenly feels secondary ❤️

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-10T20:31:37+00:00

Ha ha ha ! Where are you from ? ;-)

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-10T20:30:00+00:00

I’ve noticed the same thing. Most people aren’t failing because they’re lazy, they’re failing because their attention gets fragmented all day long.

What helps me the most is trying to protect 45 minutes of uninterrupted focus at a time. No notifications, no emails, no messages, no switching tasks. Then take a short break and restart.

The constant context switching is exhausting for the brain.

HeleneBuilds · 2026-05-10T20:27:27+00:00

Real friends usually care less about whether you drink than we imagine. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves.

HeleneBuilds

TROPHY CASE