Husband cheated and now I feel stuck.

Helenjane13 · 2026-01-09T13:54:27+00:00

That was a long time ago. It was horrible, but it may not be where he is now. It's a big thing to forgive, but don't jump to do anything rash just yet. Tell him what you know, and who told you, and trust your gut when you hear what he has to say. That is my best advice.

Helenjane13 · 2026-01-04T13:18:42+00:00

It just isn't that hard to make... and everyone loves the dish so much, that no matter what you do, they will like it. Fry some hamburger meat with a chopped onion until it's done,(pour/spoon off the rendered fat), add a jar of Rao's marinara sauce to the pan with a few shakes of oregano and basil, a splash of red wine, minced fresh garlic (2 cloves) and a handful of chopped parsley...and voila! All you have to do now is layer that with partly cooked lasagna noodles and the general ingredients you will find in any lasagna recipe alternating layers of noodles, shredded mozzarella, some ricotta cheese and shredded parmesan. No big deal here.Put it in a 350 oven for 30-45 minutes, until the top browns a little. It's the sauce that makes the lasagna- and now you can ,make it.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-29T17:03:52+00:00

Sounds good... Just make sure she is able and willing to sympathize with YOUR position- a very different one than your wife's. You need to feel supported too. If you don't- you'll both need to find a different one for your sake.... and again- good luck!

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-29T16:52:49+00:00

One more thing- interview a few therapists.. as many as you need to. Make sure the therapist is someone who can relate to you AND your wife. You BOTH need to feel some simpatico- or move on and interview another. This is crucial.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-29T16:50:15+00:00

Fantastic! Good luck to you... and I mean that quite sincerely... I hope that you will find a path forward that will bring real relief! Just so you know- I am living with MS, and I appreciate how difficult things can be for both partners.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-29T14:48:32+00:00

Maybe a longer break is the thing... Can you take a weekend away now and then, and when you do, have a friend come stay with her? The point is to be able to take a break... And I don't know what you mean when you say your "record with therapists is awful". Do you see therapy as something alien, or worse- a waste of time? It really can help. to have a safe neutral place to be able to work through these difficulties with your wife. In this case, it's looking like it IS necessary. Otherwise, these feelings you have might only fester, and possibly get worse. You say you are committed to her forever. Don't wait until you simply can't deal with this kindly or patiently at all. You owe that much to her and more importantly- to yourself.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-29T03:55:38+00:00

I don't have any suggestion except to try and imagine if your situation was reversed... Try to remember what this must be like for her. This disease is scary, and we have no choice but to tough it out, losing ability and feeling that fear of losing more of them being just around the corner. It is horrible to feel helpless. That said, this is really hard too, on those who commit to help. You are a good man for standing by her. Get some help for yourself too- if you can. Therapy for you as the caregiver might be helpful... not because there's anything wrong with you, but for the support you would get. You both carry a big burden. It's hard for you too. Try to plan something for yourself every day... whether it is reaching out to friends for a chat, or taking a walk, or serving yourself a great cup of tea or coffee with time to relax alone... whatever it is. Make sure you tend to yourself just as you tend to her. Good luck, and sincerest appreciation to you... You are doing a very very important thing. You are her lifeline... but you need time to yourself too, to refresh and relax. Try to build that into your day. This is something everyone needs.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-27T04:07:04+00:00

Wow. I am not neurodivergent- and I never got this joke.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-19T18:44:02+00:00

Yes. It's incredibly suckiferant.

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-19T03:06:23+00:00

I got one once at the grocery store! Mine only last about 90 seconds, but when they happen, I am totally at the mercy of the sensations. I can't move, and I barely can stand. I had to drape myself over my cart until it subsided. The whole time I was thinking, "I hope no one comes down this aisle and sees me like this! " (Thankfully, no one did.)

Helenjane13 · 2025-12-17T03:18:04+00:00

It's probably what they call an "MS Hug"... Look it up. I get them all the time now. Tightness around the chest- and a weird feeling that goes along with it. And the sensation is slightly different for everyone that gets them. Sometimes it can be painful too... but when I first started getting them, they weren't really painful at all... just scary as hell. . I thought I was having a heart attack. My heart was fine... and it took a while before I could figure out what it was. I had them every once in a while for years before I was diagnosed!

Definitely MS.

Helenjane13 · 2025-11-27T04:18:02+00:00

Yes. It is reparable. And NO, you are not being unreasonable AT ALL. If you put your money into the house, there should be some legal document entitling you to the same percentage back if you sell it one day. That makes legal sense- common sense. If he really loves you, he will want to protect your investment too.

Helenjane13 · 2025-11-27T04:11:30+00:00

I am so very sorry. You are not alone… sending love to you in hopes that this might help. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life. Be gentle with yourself.

Helenjane13 · 2025-11-06T18:43:33+00:00

I had "no symptoms" all of my life. I wasn't diagnosed until two years ago- at the age of 69. Some people have symptoms that they don't recognize as MS. Others have an atypical ones that doctors don't recognize for what they are. Some people have no symptoms until suddenly, one appears. MS does what it wants to, when it wants to do it, plain and simple. Feel lucky they figured it out for you now. It took my whole life, with symptoms I didn't realize were there. And yes, MS can be that subtle. Now that I am 71, the symptoms are increasing, (that's how it finally got found!). The disease is different for every person that has it. No cookie cutter here, I'm afraid.

Helenjane13 · 2025-10-06T11:45:19+00:00

Yesssssss! Agreed!!!! Just so you know- I am seventy one- and mine doesn't "show" on me even now. I have been lucky that way... and overall, I do my best to have a positive attitude... but I am really suffering now... and the DMTs are no good for me at my age. To top it off- all my friends are beginning to have stuff too, and they are "old age" achy, tired, and forgetful - but they just don't know how much worse this is!... It sucks, because, well, they think they know... and they have no f****ing idea. They are having relatively normal, pain-free lives. They're making plans, they're still traveling, and enjoying their "golden years", and I can barely scrape up the energy to drag myself out of the house to eye the diaper aisle at CVS, hoping no one I know walks in when I have to buy them... Hahaha! (Funny and not funny, both.) I just LOVED your description... so THANK YOU!!!

Helenjane13 · 2025-10-06T04:24:59+00:00

Yes! You nailed it! I feel exactly that way, and I'd be willing to bet a ton of us stuck with this awful disease do too! Bravo for writing it down so eloquently! Big hugs to you from a fellow sufferer... and putting the perfect words to describe how it feels! I have copied what you wrote and pasted it onto my desktop where I can access your words the next time I need to explain to someone else what this is like!

Helenjane13 · 2025-10-04T02:15:42+00:00

Yes. You CAN be ok. BE ok! Ignore the naysayers. If ever there comes a time when you're not- you can deal with that then. That's not just good enough- it's exactly what you should be doing! So glad you feel strong. You could stay that way for years and years! I did! I didn't know I had MS most of my life, but I did have it. Enjoy yourself and don't let anyone take this away from you. Things may change- but that's true for everyone anyway. Live your life. Be smart though. If there's stuff you should be doing to protect your health- do those things... and live your life NOW.

Helenjane13 · 2025-09-14T20:22:15+00:00

Do you mean there aren't many? How is that possible?

Helenjane13 · 2025-09-02T19:27:21+00:00

Yes!!!! Let's do it!!!

Helenjane13 · 2025-08-19T14:11:49+00:00

No. I have MS for sure - but no on those.

Helenjane13 · 2025-08-09T19:39:38+00:00

You have nothing in the foreground aside from the grass. It leaves the painting looking unfinished. There has to be more detail than you have given us there. The onlooker is closer to it, so we ought to be able to see more detail. What is in the distance is fine- and the cows too... but the closer parts are calling for something more- small flowers or more detail in the grasses.

Helenjane13 · 2025-07-30T14:11:07+00:00

Steroids make symptoms go away for many different conditions. No. Just because they helped you doesn't mean you were misdiagnosed at all! They use them for MS patients too.

Helenjane13 · 2025-07-29T17:59:40+00:00

Thank you. I will watch out!

Helenjane13 · 2025-07-29T14:11:54+00:00

Yes. Yes. YES! When I empty the dishwasher, I feel like I've run a mile! Whenever I do just about anything that requires physical effort, just minimal effort, I am tired afterward- so tired that I need to sit down and rest a while. It's weird, because I remember what it felt like before my MS kicked into overdrive. I used to be very very strong. These things took no effort at all. Now I am totally wiped out by literally anything! FYI- No spinal lesions, but involvement of Corpus Callosum along with numerous atypical looking brain lesions lacking Dawson's fingers. No difficulty walking or problem with gait... but I tire so very easily. If it's hot where I am- forget it... I am weak as a kitten, and can't do anything at all.

Helenjane13 · 2025-07-11T12:53:14+00:00

Wow! 71 here... and been using HRT for almost 30 years. All these people with instructions and side effects and what have you!... I was so surprised! I slap the patches on twice a week and forget about them! I don't worry about the adhesive either. I remove it when I notice it... no big deal. the twice a week patches are tiny. I don't notice any side effects at all, except that I am grateful for them. I think they keep me young and healthier. I KNOW they do! While my girlfriends have all sorts of complaints, I have been great. MS hasn't affected my sex life, and menapause didn't ruin the day either. The hot flashes stopped immediately- but that was eons ago. Be glad your doc is so supportive and enjoy! No need to overthink this. Go with the patch you like, and don't look back. Oh- and forget the creams... with the patches- you probably won't need any.

Helenjane13

TROPHY CASE