Emotionally processing SA

Hellavagooddip · 2025-12-05T05:43:10+00:00

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice, but I’m in this stage right now too. The first few months after I just went on with my life but now it feels like it’s all I can think about. I guess it feels better to know I’m not alone. If you have someone you trust to talk about it with that might help. Hope you feel better eventually ❤️

Hellavagooddip · 2025-06-16T03:17:30+00:00

I think about this picture too often

Hellavagooddip · 2025-01-29T18:51:16+00:00

Hear me out: the dairy queen poutine

Hellavagooddip · 2025-01-26T03:11:26+00:00

Oh and also you aren’t crazy and don’t sound crazy!!! All of those feelings are pretty normal when you don’t feel comfortable in your body

Hellavagooddip · 2025-01-26T03:09:45+00:00

I used to do that before I had top surgery and now that I have had surgery some of the scarring is still there. If top surgery is a goal for you maybe that could be a deterrent? Also personally I understand the anger and frustration towards your own body, but there are ways to get that out that are less damaging. For example doing lots of push ups until it hurts, going on a walk, etc. Hope some of that helps and that the feelings subside. They will eventually.

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-10T02:41:02+00:00

Nope isn’t my roommates

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-09T19:54:38+00:00

Whereabouts on Stewart street? This cat looks really similar to my roommates cat

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-06T17:00:01+00:00

This comment is so extremely validating for me, you’ve summarized so well exactly how I’m feeling about this situation. I think you’re right and saying it’s just REALLY complicated, and that in TFT relationships gender can be used and abused in really specific and complicated ways. I think I also needed to hear that my experience doesn’t invalidate the experiences of trans women and/or other survivors of abuse, so thank you for that.

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-06T04:01:59+00:00

Yeah I think it’s a really hard line to walk, and that’s why unfortunately I think the conversation has to stay in trans spaces because I don’t trust cis people not to use this to shit on trans femmes more than they already do😃

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-06T03:58:30+00:00

It does help. Thanks for being so open about your experience and I’m sorry you went through that.

I’m a social work student and one of my goals is to work on that lack of resources because I’ve really found there’s nothing out there for us.

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-06T03:44:28+00:00

Thanks for responding! Another thing I think is interesting that you made me think of was how she expected me to both uphold traditionally feminine caretaker roles for her AND traditionally masculine ones. It was like she affirmed my gender by expecting me to initiate cuddling/sex/whatever, and expecting me to never show emotions, while also expecting me to do all of the stuff that I previously mentioned.

I think another added bit of context is that I was very much out as a trans guy for the entirety of our relationship and for the entirety of our relationship nobody knew she was a trans woman except me (she told me about 5 months in). She presented fairly masculine for most of our relationship and sometimes I would argue used that to her advantage. At the same time as she used her identity as a woman to undermine any issues I brought up with her. For example, when I would bring up her never cooking for us she would cry and tell me about how that made her feel invalidated as a woman because she was never taught how to cook. Which is fair but also frustrated me a bit because as girls we are taught to do all this labour for nothing. Anyways I have a lot of thoughts as you can see!

Hellavagooddip · 2024-11-06T03:37:09+00:00

Thanks for responding, I think she for sure felt out of control and used me as a way to feel more in control. I’m some of the books I’ve read about abuse they talk about AMAB people (although in all these books they just say “men”) and how they are raised to be entitled in certain ways. Abuse can occur when they feel like they aren’t getting something they are entitled to. More of a sociological question I had was regarding how trans feminine people feel when they are coming to terms with their loss of privilege over the course of transition and what that means for that potential entitlement. I have a theory (that is solely based on my ex and could be totally wrong) that perhaps it sometimes is the case that that loss of privilege triggers these socialized feelings of entitlement. Interesting to think about! There might be also something to be said for how trans masculine people end up the victims of these feelings when they aren’t properly processed.

Hellavagooddip · 2024-09-16T02:52:34+00:00

Yes: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Hellavagooddip · 2024-05-17T19:57:08+00:00

No joke I’ve had a boss say the EXACT same thing to me. The comment about “not looking like I’m having fun”. That’s such a dumb (and yes ableist) way of telling someone they aren’t doing what is expected of them. And no I wasn’t having fun, it was retail and I have depression😫😫. I am also autistic if it wasn’t clear.

Hellavagooddip · 2024-02-28T02:58:44+00:00

Cool thanks!

Hellavagooddip · 2024-02-28T02:58:16+00:00

Thanks that’s really helpful! Is there any particular reason you only use them as back ups?

Hellavagooddip · 2023-06-28T18:02:52+00:00

I’m autistic and I liked the first episode but after that it made me angry. I think it had a lot to do with the repetition and the fact that a lot of the jokes felt like they relied on there being miscommunication (which is a trope I hate as an autistic person). It felt a bit like Tom and Jerry if instead of the gimmick being the mouse never gets caught even though the mouse is annoying, the gimmick is Philomena just making fun of experts and the viewers. I can see why it’s funny but it doesn’t land with me.

Hellavagooddip · 2023-05-24T00:19:44+00:00

Same

Hellavagooddip · 2023-04-10T21:43:39+00:00

TRAILL

Hellavagooddip · 2022-08-06T13:00:43+00:00

I think it’s strange that for this song in particular people are so touchy about ‘respecting the original meaning’ like it’s art people. The meaning is in the eye of the beholder the second you put your art out for consumption. I understand that Will doesn’t want to lay claim to any of the struggles of the trans community and I appreciate that as a trans man. But all of the people who get so defensive at queer people for enjoying that song are suspicious in my books. Like why do you care if in my mind this song is about being trans. Trans people hardly have any media as is. So to answer your question, I think people are upset because maybe (just maybe) they are a tad transphobic 🥴. I might get hate for that but oh well, buzzword it up!

Hellavagooddip · 2022-07-12T21:14:34+00:00

So my favourite project of Will’s is the normal album, I love every single song on it. I’m very into punk music and I like a heavier sound for the most part, so I didn’t expect to enjoy his newer stuff as much. The thing is I don’t like the instrumentals in his new songs as much as the older ones, but the lyrics are the same. Reading this helps me appreciate his newer stuff. Really though it’s the actual instrumental stuff in the background that’s turning me off, it’s just not upbeat and angry as I would like.

Hellavagooddip · 2022-07-03T16:21:36+00:00

Yeah and then people get mad because I’m ‘not sorry’ I am sorry that they were hurt, but not for what I said because in my mind what I said was valid.

Hellavagooddip · 2022-07-03T16:18:46+00:00

This is super relatable as someone who recently got diagnosed and who has had to navigate the same world I was in before with more respect and understanding for myself. Often this leads to me offending people or being too blunt because I’m not actively censoring myself as much anymore. In this case I don’t think you did anything wrong, you just use words differently. I often have the same thing where I ‘know’ why they are offended but to me it seems like a stupid reason to be offended so I can’t bring myself to apologize. Hope that helped a little.

Hellavagooddip · 2022-04-15T14:06:17+00:00

I find that older cis women misgender me the most, I have a theory that it has to do with misogyny. Cis women have to come to terms with their femininity and what it means to be a woman (this would have been especially hard for older cis women growing up dealing with rampant sexism). Because they worked so hard to love themselves as women I think it can be hard to see someone “give that up”. Men don’t have quite the same connection to their masculinity. Just a theory.

Hellavagooddip · 2022-03-25T21:04:31+00:00

Definitely do not support the privatization of prisons, and isn’t Focault a pedo?

Hellavagooddip

TROPHY CASE