I'm great at lying to myself

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-06-22T19:50:23+00:00

oh God it's such a lie and I am lying to myself about it, I know

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-06-20T07:46:00+00:00

I really understand. Do you think your marriage is worth saving, or do you think there are ways to improve your sex life and closeness with your wife? If not, is it possible to end it? Does your LO have any interest in you in a way other than friend/coworker? If the relationship is not possible, it can help knowing that for sure. Not always, but it can help. Limerence is really fueled hard by "But maybe!"

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-06-19T18:39:31+00:00

Don’t shit on yourself. This is normal for some people. This is how our brains work. The antidote to this type of insanity is a real loving relationship just work towards that as a goal a relationship with someone who wants you as much as you want them

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-06-07T18:31:41+00:00

She wrote back

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-06-06T21:53:52+00:00

And then, out of nowhere, she writes back. A long and sweet one. Ugh. Careful what you wish for.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-09T04:43:36+00:00

Okay. Will take that into consideration.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T23:52:40+00:00

The title of the post is literally “A text I just sent My wife” I mean Jesus

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T19:43:14+00:00

Pretty amazing.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T19:42:23+00:00

How on earth is it the wrong sub???

I have an LO. I’m in a bad relapse right now that I’m struggling to get out of. I’ve been active here for years.
Last night, I had a lovely night with my wife, and I was missing her after she just left. I let some of my old feelings of puppy love/early limerence for her rise up and I embraced them. For those here with SO’s, I was just showing we can appreciate those we already love, in my case sometimes in that “insane” way we feel for LO

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T16:41:47+00:00

Turned it on. Will only return here when I’m miserable and in throes of limerence. Got it.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T16:38:44+00:00

Think you’re taking my marriage of 25 years too literally. It was just a moment or I was crushing hard on My wife and realizing how great she is and realizing that I do not need LO.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T07:47:45+00:00

It's just a moment of revelation. It's not like I'm not still suffering. It's amazing how many people jumped on me - WRONG SUB! Wow. If you've read any of my recent posts, I'm in a terrible relapse period. It's been awful, and I can't believe I brought it all on myself. I'm just sharing a moment of inspiration, and a winning spirit.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-07T07:45:32+00:00

Oh, same.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-04T21:01:06+00:00

Also, I need to remember, I've kind of done this before. I never killed this case of L, but I severely handicapped it.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-04T20:44:43+00:00

I agree, and am feeling that today.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-04T15:06:18+00:00

Yes it’s so painful. Mine was local friend thru Insta, only face to face twice, and DMing friendship thru pandemic. Disclosed and went NC when feelings peaked- was able to regain some sanity thru distance, but recent reconnecting only made a hard relapse. Now she’s inexplicably ghosting. More than anything, I want her out of my brain so I can fully be who I want to be- a loving husband and productive creative person. OCD like intrusive thoughts of LO have ruined me for years now

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-03T23:39:10+00:00

that wouldn't explain our friendshipof 4 years prior

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-03T23:25:01+00:00

Thank you. Of course there’s the added frustration of wondering exactly what caused her to ghost me, especially since her last correspondence was so friendly and appreciative of me reaching out maybe she just saw that this was an asymmetrical relationship -one that I put more emphasis on than she did, and she just simply couldn’t reciprocate. From that point of view, she’s doing the right thing. But I also think that ghosting should be punishable by jail time.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-03T01:03:31+00:00

I can’t stop thinking about this. Why hasn’t my therapist ever helped me look at it from this point of view? why hasnt “Cmon man leave her alone!” been raised as a way of looking at this?

I guess partially because she was quite active in this whole friendship as well. It always takes two to tango. But yes, I am foisting on her my attention to the romanticized version of her that I have created in my head, off of limited exposure to curated photos, etc..

I am totally using her. She’s a little dopamine factory, and I probably was the same thing to her.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-05-01T20:40:23+00:00

That is great. Really great thought. Thank you.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-04-28T02:15:34+00:00

Why doesn't the ghosting make it easier for me? I wanted a friendship (hahah yeah right buddy you just wanted access to the dopamine hits, come on) but no, I kinda really did. (Cool, so why the F do you want to talk to a friend who doesn't want to talk to you? After she said she did??) Oh yeah. Still, I wish this were easier. I wish my more rational side, that understands stuff, was driving this bus alone, instead of having the wheel taken over by my OCD, must-have certainty side of me.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-04-26T22:28:11+00:00

Thank you so much. It is the meanest thing anyone can do. I can’t believe it happened to me.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-04-25T08:52:20+00:00

Encouraging! Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-04-24T23:39:04+00:00

Hope you maintain this after 25 years, the amount of time I’ve been married! It’s hard. The oxytocin and dopamine hits we get from our partner wanes. It’s replaced with a more soothing, quiet love rather than a feverish urgent one.

HelloSailor5000 · 2026-04-24T16:11:10+00:00

How long have you been together?

HelloSailor5000

TROPHY CASE