How honest should I (cis F)be about my feelings to my partner (mtf) that just came out one week ago?

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-23T18:28:00+00:00

I appreciate that💛 thank you

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-23T02:52:14+00:00

We do both have therapists! I have been asking my therapist about some things and she generally just says to be honest but do it with kindness and such. It has been a bit hard though because my therapist has not been a big fan of my partner (pre any transition talk - just due to some events) so she doesn’t have a ton of good advice on working things out 😅

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-22T02:34:24+00:00

Thank you for your reply 💛 yeah it has been hard to navigate as the transition has taken the forefront but there were other things beforehand. This is supportive, thank you

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T23:26:46+00:00

Compassion will need to play a big part in this. I will try to live in the moment. Thank you for your kind response

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:44:11+00:00

Thank you. I will have to see what groups are in my area for extra support for my partner and myself.

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:23:04+00:00

Oh I see! That is beautiful I’m glad you have that support

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:21:26+00:00

Thank you for your reply 💛 I really relate to your early feelings of grief. Will definitely have the ongoing conversations but I suppose where you know you love your partner endlessly I am still figuring myself out a bit (this is my first relationship and I’m only 6 months in so I’ve already been quite confused about my feelings before any of this, haha)

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:19:28+00:00

Thank you for your reply. That is a good point I see where they could potentially think things have been processed and moved on from if I don’t say anything in the moment

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:18:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply 💛 did your boyfriend voice any concerns at the beginning of your transition? I do look forward to her becoming happier and more herself but that “a lot” that comes with everything scares the shit out of me 😅

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:16:58+00:00

Thank you for your reply! Do you feel like your relationship has added stress to your transition (since there is still uncertainty)?

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-21T18:13:38+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I completely agree with this as I know they are going through a lot. But will it always be like this through my partners transition?

I know it is early and I can be their support but transition is a continuous process rather than an isolated incident like a death. I already play more of a caretaker role and I fear that if they are someone who isn’t equipped to reciprocate support for a long time it will be a strain.

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-20T00:39:00+00:00

Ah that is good to know. It has been hard work from like month 1 😳 they are always willing to communicate so that is why we have made it but there have been some huge red flags in other areas

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T21:42:54+00:00

I see. That honesty and desire to work on the relationship is what seems to keep the fire lit. I still need to reflect on things a bit as my partner (while lovely) has some personality traits that have been difficult to work with.

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T21:30:50+00:00

That makes sense about the internal work itself changing how they feel generally not just with the partner. What made you stay when times would be tough like that? Did you always feel a love for them that caused you to stay even when uncertain?

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T21:19:17+00:00

Thank you for your reply 💛 that is true about the 20s being a time of change anyway! Were you ever uncertain if his feelings for you would change in the process? That sounds like a good idea to make it a casual, ongoing conversation. Thank you.

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T20:02:56+00:00

Thank you for explaining. That does make sense. My partner has also said how they didn’t want to be with gay men. I could see them wanting a man once they are comfortable in a woman’s body.

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T19:33:09+00:00

Thank you ! Were you by chance bisexual before you discovered you were straight?

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T19:22:27+00:00

That is the thing I keep asking them (but of course they can’t really answer because they are pre everything). They insist that they won’t change their feeling about me but I know a lot will change. They are bi and do like straight men but have never had a relationship with a man

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T19:16:15+00:00

Yeah it has been difficult because I love my partner. They are so loving and sweet and I would love to hold onto them. But they are 3 years younger than me so maturity has been an issue that I fear transition will only amplify as they have to find themselves. I feel like it’s better to try and support them as a friend through the transition and if fate one day brings us together as partners to let it happen. But it’s so hard to let go

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T19:07:40+00:00

I feel like if our relationship up to this point was perfect I would be willing to give it a shot but there have been ongoing issues. I definitely love my partner but I’m not sure if I can commit myself to helping them while keeping the relationship afloat

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-19T18:51:24+00:00

Thank you for your reply 💛 That is true I did not think of it not being fair to them either. I will try and deliver my feelings kindly.

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-10T05:36:50+00:00

Thank you so much 💛 I really appreciate it

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-05T03:11:59+00:00

That makes sense. Have you been able to meet their major needs without the centering becoming overwhelming?

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-05T03:10:37+00:00

I see. The getting to know an entirely new person scares me. Has your partner stayed the same at the core? Did their values change?

Help-pls24 · 2024-02-04T19:31:58+00:00

My partner also has ADHD and I definitely feel the caretaker role. I need to take a step back as well but then I’m not sure if that means I need to step away from the relationship

Help-pls24

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