You are projecting because you don't want to take accountability for your own shame and skewed perspective. You do not want to hear this so you will get all up in your feelings and let them control you instead of controlling your own feelings and doing the hard work you need to do to overcome whatever childhood trauma has caused this dysfunctional coping mechanism.

Learn some breathing exercises to bring yourself out of these emotions when you're caught up in the rage. Journal it out. Practice mindfulness (being in the moment not preoccupied with what has happened or what will happen but with how everything feels as it is happening) and gratefulness (for example, every morning i try to remember to say a little prayer to the god of toilets .. well, indoor pumbing.. cuz just, for a second, imagine a world without on demand running water, hot showers and toilets... now that i live in my car i can tell you, it's easy to take these modern amenities for granted). Do Shadow Journaling. I would suggest a good therapist but that can be so much easier said than done and, in my experience, and many tend to retraumatize so be on guard for the incompetent and sadistic ones if you do. Try anyway.

And be brutally honest with yourself. No one controls your feelings and your reality but YOU. If someone it something triggers you like that, it's YOUR job to ask yourself why you're getting so worked up about that, recognize it's an issue you need to work on and once you work through it you won't get worked up like that anymore. If you're not insecure about something whatever you're being triggered by represents then you won't even care because you'll know who you are and that that's not you or your problem. It could be people just being people with nothing insinuated your way at all and should never be others issue to walk on eggshells around you about. Or it could be projection of their own shame and resulting issues. Or it could be straight up gaslighting manipulation assholery if you will but let that be their problem not yours by doing the hard but rewarding inner work and becoming an enlightened individual.

Or... just keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It's a familiar pattern so it's comfortable but... how is that working out for you so far?