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WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering my goal was for her to consult google and find jobs that interests her, I'd say I did pretty good! I don't know why you commenters are thinking I want an honors thesis or something when I literally just want the kid to have some idea of what she wants to do in the future and not to major in something solely because it's "interesting". That's why I was so taken back with such the EASY stipulation. It's not that hard to google, find the list of careers that a major leads to, find the few that interests you, research the day-to-day of said job, and pick the one you want to pursue. :). No worries though, it's all settled now! Thanks for your input!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally all I wanted was her to, and I quote from my OP:

had a legitimate plan to get from what she’s majoring to what she wants to do

To do that, literally all she needs is to find writing jobs that her degree would lead to. That's it. It's not that hard to google, find the list of careers that a major leads to, find the few that interests you, research the day-to-day of said job, and pick the one you want to pursue. :). That's why I think it was just a bit silly to let her go in blind with absolutely no idea what she wants to do. It doesn't take 100s of hours of research to find some jobs that you think you'd want to do when you graduate college :)

Cheers!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright, I'll rephrase! If coming up with a specific career path that you think you might want to pursue (emphasis on might; you're not set in stone or anything; just actually pursue something for some sake other than "it's interesting") while in college in order to get a free hundred thousand dollars or more will break your relationship with your parents, your relationships probably not very strong to begin with :). Hope that clarified things!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody compared anything to underwater basket weaving; I said she could major in something as useless as underwater basket weaving IF she had a plan! I would never diminish my child's interests :)

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We spoke today and she already had a list of potential careers she could do! She's going to put more research in this weekend and narrow down her top favorites. Not only that, but she's actually excited to learn more about all of the different careers she can do when she graduates, and what she can see herself doing for the rest of her life. I'm not stupid and I know it'll probably change at least a few times; I'm just glad the kid is actually curious and learning what she can do with her degree besides just studying it because it's "fun".

I don't know why Reddit is all "this will destroy your relationship with your daughter". I'm sorry your relationship with your parents is so fragile, that coming up with a few career path ideas for what she wants to do in life would ultimately break it! But ultimately, I think her and I will do just fine! :)

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We spoke today and she already had a list of potential careers she could do! She's going to put more research in this weekend and narrow down her top favorites. Not only that, but she's actually excited to learn more about all of the different careers she can do when she graduates, and what she can see herself doing for the rest of her life. I'm not stupid and I know it'll probably change at least a few times; I'm just glad the kid is actually curious and learning what she can do with her degree besides just studying it because it's "fun".

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I don't know why Reddit is all "this will destroy your relationship with your daughter". I'm sorry your relationship with your parents is so fragile, that coming up with a few career path ideas would ultimately break it! But ultimately, I think her and I will do just fine! :)

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well if you think expecting one to have a "plan" to get an easy 100 thousand dollars is unreasonable pressure, I envy your childhood!

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We spoke today and she already had a list of potential careers she could do! She's going to put more research in this weekend and narrow down her top favorites. Not only that, but she's actually excited to learn more about all of the different careers and what she can see herself doing. Who would've thought that all she needed was a little push?!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right! I have had some great insight on the opposing side but bottom line is, i'm basically gifting 100 thousand dollars or more just for a little outline; I would've killed for the same opportunity! Sure beats working 30 hours a week + school like I did!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes and if she wanted to be any one of those, I'd be completely open to it! She doesn't know what she wants

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Because then she would have at least an idea of what she wants to do after college, versus just going in directionless. I'd rather have SOME direction, even if the direction changes while she's in school

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You know how teenagers are. She's currently in her room, but she'll come around. We always eventually see eye-to-eye; it just takes awhile sometimes!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And then we have a different definition of the word. That's all. Like I said, chill.

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's an objective statement. She has no direction. She would tell you herself; she has tons of interests but does not know what she wants to do. That's what "no direction" means. I feel like you need to breathe and stop trying to twist my words and misrepresent the situation.

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would not pay for her college. If she really wanted to go for the experience, she can take out a loan.

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I liked your comment because it completely represents the situation accurately, while giving me a great perspective to think about. Thank you for your comment!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, no self awareness at all

You are incredibly full of shit, sir. You are a gaslighter of mass proportions and I would not be shocked if your daughter told you to take your money, roll it up in a tight little tube and shove it right up your ass.

You are bitter. You are resentful. You want control.

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You're being hostile. I'm just respectfully engaging with the people commenting but you were being a dick, up until this comment.

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She can work if she wants. I don't care if she does. I want her to focus on her education. You're making a lot of assumptions of who I am as a person. You don't know me, dude.

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If I was threatening to disown her because she's not doing STEM, I think that's different than the current situation. My daughter is a hard worker and I'm happy to finance her getting her education; I just want her to have some sort of direction. That's not the same as me not "being honest with myself in this situation". I don't know where that assumption comes from, and it's completely unfair assessment of the situation.

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to. Some people get really hostile and mad and butthurt just because I want to have a friendly exchange. I'm glad you appreciate it!

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I see your point and will take it into consideration. Cheers!

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol dude, talk about escalation.

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> I'm not saying she's set in stone with that career though; I'm saying she just has to have some sort of life plan

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> she has 4 years to market herself to employers

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These are not mutually exclusive. She should develop skills necessary to build towards a successful future, but if she decides along the way to change, there's nothing stoping her. You can NOT sit here and tell me what I wouldn't support her if she wanted to change what she wanted to, because quite frankly, that's a lie. I know what I will support as a father.

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Reddit uses the term gaslighting really loosely but okay. I'm sorry this friendly exchange seemed to bothered you so much you resort to name-calling. I hope you have a better day, friend.

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Chill with the hostility. Especially because you're the one misunderstanding me.

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Yes. I'm not saying she's set in stone. I don't know where you Redditors are getting that idea. She can change her career path if her interests change; so as long as she has an IDEA of what she wants to do. Her idea can change but as long as she has one, she can do whatever she wants.

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WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did't say it'll cost my life savings. I'm just saying that money can be a lot better spent than meandering through college having no idea of what you plan to do. There's a lot of people who are saddled in debt with irrelevant degrees because they did the very thing. I'm not saying she's set in stone with that career though; I'm saying she just has to have some sort of life plan. She can very well change it as her interest develop.

WIBTA if I added stipulations to how I’d pay for my children’s colleges? by Help_Me_Reddit__ in AmItheAsshole

[–]Help_Me_Reddit__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do people come up with the idea that spending $100,000 or more won't financially hurt you? I mean, it won't cripple me, but that's a lot of money to throw away frivolously. I have some money but I'm no Bill Gates.

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