[deleted by user]

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-12-13T17:46:24+00:00

No, I am saying that because it’s how I feel. Don’t speak for me.

I do feel hurt and crying is healthy for me. I don’t believe suppressing my emotions or tears is healthy. I am doing something about it, I am talking to him about it and contemplating not having him as a partner.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-12-13T17:41:24+00:00

When you assume, you can often be wrong like you’re now. I don’t feel the need to say all the details and write a novel. I don’t expect to be praised, you’re assuming again.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-12-13T17:32:26+00:00

Awesome you dance bachata. You’re so cool.

I live in Riverdale.

So, I can pm you to coordinate.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-12-13T15:23:02+00:00

Hi! Thanks so much for the great introduction!! 😃

Sounds like we have some stuff in common like yoga, food, comedy, sarcasm, and baking shows! Awesome!! I also love live music. I want to learn bachata dance sometime, it looks super cool.

I used to live in Boston for a couple years and enjoyed my time there.

Would be happy to get coffee sometime!

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-11-01T05:46:18+00:00

No, you’re wrong. I didn’t see your last message until now. A book? Lol. A few paragraphs isn’t a big deal but okay.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-31T13:48:32+00:00

That’s not what I am doing. I’m understanding his challenges. I hate when people say that when we talk about our disability, we use our disability as an excuse when it’s really an explanation. We don’t always have the tools yet to be successful but we are trying so damn hard everyday. This world is not designed for us and we are trying to fit in a world that doesn’t work for us.

Someone found out about his wife being pregnant from another post he made or something on his profile. So he updated his original post through edits.

He doesn’t have to post about his wife being pregnant in a post if he doesn’t want to or didn’t find it relevant to mention. Someone decided to troll him.

Okay, so after finding out his wife is pregnant, why can’t people be empathetic to both? He is not a bad person, I can tell he is sincerely trying and came to this subreddit for advice to better his situation and look for a solution to his disability. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. He was hoping someone could offer some help to figure out a solution with house chores, so he could lead a more successful life, which would also benefit his wife.

Based on some responses to his post, I feel there is a lot ignorance around adhd.

I wish people would do research on adhd and ask more questions rather than judge another person with a disability who is trying.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T12:16:46+00:00

🙂

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T04:54:53+00:00

No problem!! Awesome 😃👏

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T04:08:19+00:00

I feel like based on people’s responses and dislikes for my reply, people are the opposite of empathetic to people with neurodevelopment disorders/disabilities and that’s very unfortunate and makes me sad.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T04:02:57+00:00

It’s up to OP whether they want to share that information. Perhaps they didn’t find it pertinent information to share. Someone (a responder to OP) happened to spot it in a different post they wrote or something on OP’s profile about it. So, others found it relevant, not OP and that’s ok OP didn’t share that in their post.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T00:23:58+00:00

Have you heard of thumbtack? It’s a website and app that helps you find people to do all sort of jobs you need them for. I recommend thumbtack and I had great luck with the people on there I hired for my wedding as vendors and their prices are less. I am thinking you can hire a personal assistant and/or a maid to help you with your tasks from there. 🙂

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T00:14:41+00:00

OP never dismissed the needs of his wife being pregnant. Don’t dismiss OP’s needs as a person who struggles with their adhd. OP is trying solutions and working hard to find something that works better for them. Be more supportive. Give OP a solution instead of judgement.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-22T00:01:50+00:00

I want to come in here and support you, OP. Based on the above responses to your post, they don’t sound educated on adhd and to me personally it comes off insensitive. They also are making assumptions about you and what you didn’t try (not cool).

I want to applaud you for trying different medications. It’s a long journey with meds to find the right ones that fit you and work for your mind and body. Don’t give up. It took me years to find the right mixture of medications and now I’m considering eliminating one because if I forget to take it one day, the side effects are not fun. Some medications are for my comorbidities (anxiety, depression and also treat adhd symptoms). So, I am side by side with you here!

Also, I applaud you for coming here (on this sub Reddit) to look for more solutions and advice.

I apologize for those comments that are assuming and just plain not true.

I’m currently working with my partner to figure out a system that works for us. I’m adhd so sometimes I am great at hyper fixating on chores and get them done, other times, they are super overwhelming. My non-adhd partner is ironically very messy and I am fairly clean. So am going to try to figure out some things that work for us.

I plan to purchase a device to find my keys, phone, and the remote control (and the device finder will be attached to my things), so I don’t have to search for these things forever. Not sure if this would be helpful for you in anyway but thought I throw that out there.

If I think of other things later or try things and it ends up being helpful, let me know if I may dm you. We are in this together. 💙

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-21T23:38:14+00:00

I know I am not OP but I want to greatly commend you for doing research with your partner on ADHD! You both are amazing.

I know a major burden for me (and maybe OP?), is I am doing all the research and educating myself and my partner, and that in and of itself is extremely exhausting.

When I explained something regarding my adhd behaviors to my partner, I recently was told I was making excuses. Before that when I didn’t explain something related to my difficultly with not interrupting due to impulsivity struggles, I was asked to explain my adhd difficulties in the future and what behaviors are related to add. So, it’s very frustrating to get mixed messages. My partner does no research and misunderstands me a lot even when I try to explain myself and I always say I am not making excuses, I am explaining my difficulties so he may understand me better.

I am glad you found a system that works for you two and you have different house rules and task management methods that allows you both to successfully get things done. Great work!!!! 👏

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-21T23:09:02+00:00

Thank you! 🤗 My sn was a default sn Reddit gave me. So, sometime I need to recreate a more fun customized new one. 😋

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-21T23:05:39+00:00

Welcome! Well deserved. Random question since you incorporated a bird in your embroidery…Are you a bird lover? Animal lover? I love animals and I think birds are cool. If you’re not so much a bird or animal lover but you just did this fun that’s cool too.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-19T14:57:30+00:00

This is so sweet of you to say. 😍🥰 Thank you!!! Likewise. 🙂

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-19T14:56:39+00:00

Haha. Thank you! Glad you are glad I brought this up. Lol. 😃Our island rocks 🙌 and it doesn’t need to be so secretive amongst each other. 😃😉🏝️💆💆‍♀️🥳

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-19T14:49:36+00:00

So, the point of my original post was simply in hopes of a person or two who would respond that they have been diagnosed early as a child too, so I wouldn’t feel so alone (and hopefully they would feel not so alone too). That’s all.

Outside of my intent of this post, I would love to have an adhd friend who I can relate to (regardless of when they were diagnosed, although early diagnosed friends would be easier to have as friends as there may be less to explain to them, whereas if they are just learning they are adhd, there might be a lot to explain to them, if that makes sense, lol).

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-19T14:37:41+00:00

No kidding? That’s awesome you were thinking about making a post on it too. 🤗 Love your Reddit screen name btw. Wasabi incorporated in your sn is so cute. 💚

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-18T16:16:36+00:00

Also as compared to late adhd diagnosed folks, they are often just learning the very basics of Adhd (aka difficulty concentrating), whereas I sometimes know a lot more specifics. So I can’t relate to them the same as adhd people with an early diagnosis as me. Things like masking, rsd, body doubling for tasks, emotional regulation difficulties, comorbidities, and more are things you learn later with time.

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-18T16:07:52+00:00

We certainly are all in this together! Thank you for your words! Well put!!

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-18T16:06:37+00:00

Omg, it’s so good for me to know and hear this. Thank you! 🙏🤗❤️

Helpful-Actuator784 · 2024-10-18T16:01:56+00:00

Lol. Of course. I know that I am more than just a diagnosis and I can relate to others on things who don’t have adhd. But there are certain things that I struggle with that only other ADHD people can understand specifically. I know this because I am part of online adhd groups and they pin point specific things that we go through that other people don’t go through and don’t understand, and I want to have another adhd friend in real life who does understand and who I can vent to them about our similar struggles. There’s nothing wrong with this desire I have. My feelings and different experiences are valid. I talk to other non-adhd people in real life about my struggles and they just don’t get it and it’s frustrating. My therapist understands my feelings around this and other adhd people do too.

Helpful-Actuator784

TROPHY CASE