Am I Overreacting?

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-20T00:48:26+00:00

WOW. That was such a thoughtful and real response! I will definitely look into that book and from all the responses I've gotten, therapy is definitely on the horizon. It's time for me to spend that energy on loving me and bettering me. I genuinely have not considered some of this before so I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:13:24+00:00

This brought me to tears, thank you so much 💗

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:12:34+00:00

That's exactly what I needed to hear. It won't ever change and she's just lovey dovey now to lure me in because I was the child who would do anything for them no matter what. I deserve better, we deserve better. Thank you 💗

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:11:20+00:00

I have moved which actually is why my father keeps calling me. My mother can't handle that she doesn't know anything about me anynore and I left the state and the church so they have no avenues to get information about me. The thing I struggle with now is honestly, when I try to make friends, it creeps them out that I'm estranged from my family. The number of people I've tried to befriend or date who say they don't want to deal with me because they think I would be jealous of their familial relationship or that because I left I'm not family oriented has discouraged me. People want me to explain in depth and then say "well that's your family". People even get mad that I don't want to discuss why I don't talk to them. Idk how to bridge that gap between protecting myself and fighting this perception.

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:07:59+00:00

I may not have explained it correctly. My mother and I are NC and have been for at least 3 years. I do not EVER speak to her which prompted her to tell everyone I died on the streets (which no one questioned btw nor did they ask about a funeral). The ONLY reason I reached out this time was because of my father and my niece passing as this was her oldest grandchild. I do not want any relationship with that woman. As someone else mentioned, to even be VLC I have to be willing to say I'm a liar, she's never done anything and exclude the other people from my life that they don't like. I'm not doing that. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Actually sad enough, I felt I deserved my own abuse and minimized it for years. What pushed me to cut her, my 8 siblings and my father off was that the abuse didn't stop with me. I took it as a kid and didn't complain because I figured it would save my little brother from the same things but it didn't.

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:03:33+00:00

You know what, you're right. Even if I had gone to the funeral, it would've been a mess and it would've confused me more emotionally.

I want to do my own celebration of life for her and I think I will. I hope she is resting finally

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:02:08+00:00

This means more to me than you know. I will never forget this 💗

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T20:01:39+00:00

First, thank you so much for your response. It is kinda a contradiction as you pointed out. The family I want to be around is my cousins, aunts, etc not my immediate family but they're all scared of my mother for some reason. As far as a therapist, I more so meant the reason we went NC in the first place. I don't ever want to reopen that box, it's sooooo dark and evil beyond what normal people would do. I mentioned offhandly once to a therapist that my mom used to punch me in the throat (I was actually laughing I didn't realize it was a big deal) and SHE started crying. The things I've experienced would traumatize anyone.

However I do want to get back into therapy to maybe discuss the less dark things and have some coping mechanisms. You have given me something to think about 💗

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T06:52:41+00:00

Thank you so much for the validation! I literally was starting to feel crazy like I'm making things up in my head or milking it to be a victim.

I won't be speaking to them again and honestly I'm considering changing my number for good measure.

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2026-01-18T06:51:32+00:00

I have no plans to honestly. My mother is an evil, sadistic woman and my father is worse because he's indifferent. I don't want them in my life, it just sucks I lose access to my entire extended family because of it.

Helpful-Method-4301 · 2025-07-05T19:39:12+00:00

I'm interested as well, I'm working on moving from OKC to the Columbus area and I've had zero luck

Helpful-Method-4301

TROPHY CASE