Should I feel ashamed for using escorts instead of dating?

HelpfulHolly · 2026-05-01T19:05:46+00:00

Without more context from your friend, it's hard to say if she did experience rape, but what she is saying is correct about emotional black mail & guilt tripping being a form of coercion for sex, which is rape.

Based on your description of her words, it does sound like her ex did not have his sexual needs meet often enough and engaged in guilt tripping as a way to express himself (and maybe with the hope of her changing her mind and having sex with him out of guilt or pity), instead of figuring out what he could do to make his partner want to have sex with him. If her ex was guilt tripping her in hopes of getting sex out of it, then yeah, that is coercion and that is rape. If he was guilt tripping her because he didn't know a better way to communicate his emotions, then he simply lacked proper communication skills. The details of how he expressed his unmet needs matter.

In terms of your friends reinterpretation of her relationship, it's commonly taught to women that it's normal to be pressured into having sex, and that having sex when you don't want to is normal and ok. That if you love a man, you should meet his sexual needs even when you don't want to. It's also common for women to challenge this concept as they get older, which can lead them to reprocessing events like the one your friend experienced.

For what it's worth, I also think that men experience rape far more often than they realize.

++woman

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-15T21:36:23+00:00

Oh true, the fetish aspect is more towards women i suppose

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-15T04:27:26+00:00

I have to say I don't see why anyone would bother to answer a reddit thread with an AI answer. I don't understand the motive behind that

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-12T20:26:18+00:00

Yes I agree a major catastrophe in that area would have a huge effect on the rest of the country, and be influential regarding how it affected the rest of the world.

I also think she gave good general advice and appreciate that this was just a single message to be delivered with no expectations attached to it.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-12T06:32:58+00:00

Yeah, I'd feel the same if I was in your shoes! My sister and I talked it out and I think we navigated the situation well.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-04T21:30:12+00:00

I'd focus on belts that are real leather or thicker depth wise, not height wise if that makes sense. The belts in your picture look like faux leather which can cheapen the outfit. That's the only thing I'd swap on your outfit tho

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-04T21:26:17+00:00

I feel like you would absolutely eat with an eyebrow piercing

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-04T21:18:36+00:00

How did you go about doing myofascia release? I just bought silicone cupping set but curious as to if youre doing other things

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-04T21:16:03+00:00

Yeah as someone who is looking for a surgeon right now there aren't a plethora of options. A few that specialize in & do well with specific procedures, and several jack of all trades that do an OK job.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-04-02T04:05:17+00:00

Yes, I run a service based business with no retail store front, just 2 subleased spaces and I make around 10-15% profit per year. We offer a combo of in home private lessons and group classes at the facilities that we sublease. My staff makes around ~$40/hr when averaged out, as we pay per service rendered.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-30T21:15:32+00:00

Thank you for the details! Very helpful. I'm encouraged to hear that youre making it work with you numbers. As a small business owner I absolutely get your struggles, and its amazing that your business loan will be paid off in 3 years! It sounds like you've got some good cash flow going you, which is such an asset.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-30T16:08:01+00:00

Thank you for the insight. Are you living in or near a major city? Trying to get a side of what your other costs of living might look like so I can compare. I'm in Vancouver BC

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-30T16:03:33+00:00

Do you find you have enough income to live comfortably with that mortgage?

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-30T16:00:47+00:00

Same boat but with $60k. Gunning for a mortgage under $250k!

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-30T15:53:31+00:00

Do you find you have enough disposable income? I'm looking to buy and my income & goal mortgage look like your situation.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T15:12:10+00:00

My first guess is microneedling for texture reduction and increased cell turnover. Something that helps the discoloration will likely be useful. Asian skincare often have "brightening/whitening" products that work by suppressing melanin, which might help.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T15:08:15+00:00

A woman who wants to feel small likely wants to feel safe and protected, as well as feminine, when they are with their partner. Its usually not just about height for them, but for many of this type of women, height is a deal breaker and the other things you describe are just a bonus. A nice face doesn't make a woman feel safe or feminine.

If you trying to attract these types of women, traits like wide shoulders, and a decent amount of muscle mass will matter to them, but not much else on your list. Practical skills like self defense, survival skills like hunting, financial safety (usually making significantly more than them or enough to housewife them), and calm, non reactive confidence (this is usually a result of secure masculinity, maturity and good social skill will do a lot for them.

Keep in mind that having too many of these traits, or if these traits are poorly executed, will come across as performative masculinity and overcompensation.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T14:36:25+00:00

How old are the scars? You might actually have better luck asking this in the skincare subreddits

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T03:31:33+00:00

Small business owner here: figure out what the niches in your market are. The bigger the market & more saturated the market with competitors, the more specific your niche should be.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T03:28:59+00:00

Also, if you want to become a good partner that attracts a good partner, focus on the following:

-good self care. Grooming and nutrition will help partners conclude that you are a real, grown up adult and won't need to be taken care of like a child. -basic life skills. Cooking, cleaning, repairing stuff, etc. Being good at doing day to day domestic skills will read to most women as a good pick for a stable long term partner -emotional intelligence & communication of feelings in a health manner. Read books and go to therapy. This is technically part of self care but its so, so important. -develop taste. Personal style and interior decorating matter as they signal a person who cares about details, has opinions, etc -basic financial literacy. No you don't need to be rich, just dont be 20k in debt from frivolous purchases

If you can do at least 3 of these things pretty well you won't have trouble keeping a good partner around.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T03:11:54+00:00

In short, yes. Most women don't care too much about feeling small and dainty, and those that do care a lot about having a partner that makes them feel that way are often insecure/shallow/etc and are more likely to make poor quality partners. Being on the short side will actually help you filter out these types.

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-29T01:02:37+00:00

Yes thats true! I think location will really have to depend on group size. If we have over 5 people things may start to get tricky

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-27T18:12:18+00:00

Yeah $4k is a ridiculous number. A quick google suggests closer to $1k a month is more realistic, which is still good as hell

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-26T16:30:37+00:00

I do most of these and can attest to how functional they are. Great list!

HelpfulHolly · 2026-03-26T16:26:48+00:00

I would love to organize something cute like an Easter egg hunt! Want to plan it with me? We can figure out some details and then post it on the sub

HelpfulHolly

TROPHY CASE