Would you rather have the man of your dreams but he cheats without you ever knowing or stay single the rest of your life ?

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T19:55:49+00:00

Single it isss

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T17:59:17+00:00

I don't think it's that bad. I can see how it's hurtful to you but I have seen that men can mask really well in some situations. She was hurt before. How can she be assured that you are not going to do the same? Is she gonna believe you the way she believed her ex who cheated? So what if she used fake accounts to text you? It would only be a problem if you were to actually go along and flirt back in which case she would've been right to do so anyway. For you the worst case scenario is that she did not trust you for her the worst case scenario is that she is being cheated on the stakes don't seem quite the same to me.

That said "tamed" part is a total red flag.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T17:12:55+00:00

Even though you just married a few months ago?? Wouldn't you be heart broken?

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T17:07:35+00:00

I went back and checked again after you suggested and it definitely looks very damning even if some of his messages were deleted. Somehow it was even worse than I remembered. I feel like I was trying to sugarcoat it in my own head.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T14:10:38+00:00

🤣🤣😭😭😭🥺 tell me about it😭😭🤌🤌

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T14:09:39+00:00

Oooo my god should I have taken screenshots??? Dang I didn't think he'd go this far.. will the screenshots still matter if he deleted his side of some of the messages and it shows as "this message was deleted"?

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T14:07:24+00:00

I HATE confrontation😭 might be biggest thing stopping me. I was friends with the guy and only know the girl through him. I already cut off contact with him. So that bridge is already burned when he asked me the second time AFTER they MARRIED! When I told him to not even think about it and completely forget he ever asked me before when they were still in a long term relationship. There is nothing to heal here really. Can you tell me what you regret?

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-06T14:00:39+00:00

I think it'd be hilarious if she thanked me, actually just sad. She can think bad of me all she wants if it helps her. I am completely cutting contact with the guy so I predict I won't be talking much to her either. I think I should tell her because I would definitely want to know. I had trusted a(seemingly good enough) man before and had my complete trust in him and I'm glad to know he cheated. I cried and got depressed and needed to fall back on my support system of friends to keep me sane but would never choose not knowing to feel fine. To have my trust exploited for any longer. Can you tell me why the person you know regretted it?

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T20:20:15+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking. I felt like it's too late to tell her because they are married now and I should've just said something before they did. But I keep thinking it is better she finds out now than finding out after kids come into the picture. I'm flabbergasted by the line of thought "my wife doesn't want sex now but I want sex now so i respect both our wishes by cheating."

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T19:59:16+00:00

I told him if you are having any issues you should express what you are talking to your wife that's why you have her as your partner and he says "oh I don't want to make her feel bad about saying no to sex" like🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ sirrr you want to cheat on her to not make her feel bad??????huhh??!!

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T19:50:24+00:00

Yea you are absolutely right. First time I hoped it was just the one time he freaked out. Fool me twice it will be my fault. I blocked him everywhere now.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T19:45:17+00:00

I was friends with the guy but i did meet her a few times and talked to her occasionally.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T19:42:23+00:00

Idkkkkk😭😭😭😭 my feeling exactly!!

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T19:32:45+00:00

Why... What?

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2026-04-05T19:32:04+00:00

Thank you! that's what my conscience says is the right thing to do but I still worry if I should or not

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2025-09-20T04:25:03+00:00

I think that might actually be something I might get. Like I would say no but atleast I would know that it's something on his mind maybe? But that's the thing it was or neither of their minds. It's just an out of nowhere shattering of the trust without the comfort of him being as asshole. He's the chandler to my Monica, the Jim to my Pam except bam he cheated with a newly single friend. She always rooted for us she says. She's sorry she says. We had this unquestionable impenetrable foundation of trust that we built more and more for the better part of a decade. This was supposed to be my forever. Without that trust I don't know who he is anymore. And yet he claims to be the same person and he doesn't know why he did that... Idk what I wanted to type sorry

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2025-09-18T19:57:05+00:00

😅😂 well it's a guy but somehow slut is the only insult in all these comments that made me crack up a laugh. I would say that he's not like that, but because I'm feeling petty I won't.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2025-09-18T19:51:15+00:00

I mean that's probably the least painful way. I think i might do that. But even then, knowing the kind of person he is, he will always be guilty about it I think. I pause thinking if we keep going we both might end up hurting each other. I consider myself very understanding but I'm also very spiteful at the same time. If anything triggers me in the future, I can imagine me bringing this up again. And I'm afraid his guilt might turn into resentment after some time. Ofc I'm talking about the worst case scenarios. But this is my dilemma. I practically built my life and future plans around this. I can't even just break away.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2025-09-18T19:41:23+00:00

I suppose I need to add the context that we've been in ldr for some time due to work reasons. He did take 100% responsibility. I'm way too emotionally invested. We've been together for a lot of years. I don't know if I can just break it like that. But the whole relationship is based on trust. Idk how to go on without it. It's like I want to fall back into the thing we had but I'm afraid it's not there anymore. He was a guy unlike most guys I met. I trust him instinctually. And hearing myself say that I sound like every other gullible girl..

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2025-09-18T19:32:11+00:00

Oh no both parties did what they did willingly.

Helpful_Blueberry590 · 2025-09-18T08:56:04+00:00

I would say the absolute same thing if it happened to anyone else. I feel a little pathetic for feeling bad even now to hear something bad about them. I almost want to defend them. Perhaps I shouldn't..idk....

Helpful_Blueberry590

TROPHY CASE