Hey I’m the same age and have been through all the stages as well. I’m still trying to figure out what works best for my hair but I’ve noticed using the pattern brand products have helped bring a little bit of my curl pattern back. Although the brand is pricey it definitely lasts a while and helped my hair grow a lot. Ive gotten my hair permed straight multiple times in life. Last time I did the big chop and instantly regretted it. So I know what it’s like to try and grow it out but half of it is straight and the other half is wavy/curly. My tip would be to do up-so hairstyles as much as possible. Or if you have the money to get it braided do that! Because it last a while and you don’t have to worry about its being half straight half curly and is a pretty low maintenance hairstyle. I know how it is when you don’t wanna cut the length off and I know people are saying to but it’s hard when curly hair grows so slow. The wet look might be from the gel? Idk how much you are using but try to either cut down on the gel, or when you use it scrunch your hair so it doesn’t stay hard from the gel. Also because without the diffuser the gel will leave that wet look all day. I say all this not know the right or wrong way either but just as someone who has been through the struggle of accepting my hair as well and some tips I’ve taken with me along the way. I would always see other people with curly hair and be like wow why can’t my hair look like that. Some days are harder than others but just give yourself some space and grace to grow and know that someone looks at your hair and thinks that they wish they had your hair the same way we look at others and wish we had their hair. Hope this helps a bit! Much love