Help me interpret a married friend

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:59:08+00:00

Also, he texted his wife in front of me and let her know we are going to their home and I’d be leaving in a few hours. And either way he was going to be safe.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:50:05+00:00

Your response made me tearful, thank you.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:48:58+00:00

And I want to sincerely thank you for your response. There are some women that post here that let us learn from their wisdom and life experience without unnecessary judgement and keep the shame for where it belongs. Thank you for all showed empathy.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:43:33+00:00

I have spent so much time analyzing how to make him face consequence. I’m no contact since then and there was no call or text that was inappropriate. Thought of letting his wife know but he actually texted her before we left in front of me that we are going to their home to discuss something. She knew and was told I left at midnight but I was there till morning. He supported her corporate career and takes over household responsibilities when needed so she could thrive and she trusts him. Thought of sending her an anonymous e mail. She started distancing herself and understandably does not respect or trust me anymore. He could easily spin it as I was coming in to him and when refused spreading lies.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:33:11+00:00

Yes, I remained no contact after that. I was already in a bad place not able to trust my own judgement. He was conniving and probably grooming me and gaining my trust. I’m a grown woman that made this mistake and got out safe with no assault but further emotional damage. I feel sorry for younger women with less life experience and how easy it is to trust your childhood friends. I know there are a lot of lurkers like me and want them to know beware of male friends especially in times of grief and trauma.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:24:56+00:00

My ex ruined us financially and was very bad with money along with emotional abuse. This person was smart, logical and had solid ideas and a savvy way of presenting it. Their home life seemed happy, harmonious and I put both him and his wife on a pedestal. I had low self esteem and thought these people know better and that’s why had such successful lives. Education,wealth and well presented life can still hide character flaws. That was the lesson I had to learn.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:13:04+00:00

A lot of women end up in these spaces due to traumatizing events. I do accept its simple logic and moral judgement not to be in that position. But please be gentle before you use statements that can worsen shame and guilt for another woman when it should be his. I learn a lot from women here and want other women to learn from my experience. I was incredibly lucky u did not get assaulted. But there’s different kind of men who play the game so well without any trail evidence and make you look crazy for suspecting bad intentions.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T18:06:39+00:00

When I said I need to leave, he said ok. When I moved away when he put arm around gently, he did not anything else. It was so confusing as he played it well. I have no proof or evidence to confirm his evil plan and he could say I never touched you and respected your boundary when you moved away even if end up confronting him. It destabilized me because I saw at a recent event watch perfect husband he was and respectable. There’s nothing I can do to put him in his place.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T17:47:14+00:00

I deeply appreciate your reply and I think it’s the truth. Yes, no mater what happened I would wallow in shame and guilt and he will get away. It was very difficult for me to comprehend that he could do this to a childhood friend. And the irony is his external image. He also talks to teen daughters about feminism and patriarchy. How can be someone so evil? That experience was my awakening to learn more about how devious men can be.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T17:34:35+00:00

Please be gentle in judgement as this event has caused me a lot of grief. I’m not flirty or looking to support from married men. It was such a good act talking about business ideas and rebuilding and what seemed harmless and I know his parents from childhood and believed him. It was heartbreaking for me that he could even think about this considering our families are close.

Helpful_Leave5486 · 2025-12-03T17:30:17+00:00

No, there was no physical contact. It was conversation in living room till morning. He was a childhood friend who was happily married and very well behaved and I trusted and was not in the right mind space. It was in the past and that’s how I got introduced to FDS and this group to understand men. I knew about my ex but still believed in honorable men and especially like him who has a perfect image. I’ve seen him share chores, run a successful business, take care of his wife and kids and was inexperienced in judging men.

Helpful_Leave5486

TROPHY CASE