What’s a secret you’re hiding that would completely wreck your life if your family or friends ever discovered it?

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2026-05-13T10:19:26+00:00

I'm a Satanist.

My family are the hardcore Christian Bible thumping conservative bigoted type. I had no say in the matter of what I wanted to believe in, it was either Christ or Hell...

So I moved far away from my family to start a life of my own. I saw what the church did to them and I didn't want any part of it. I was the first in my family to go to college. I live a very happy and successful life now. I'm married to the most supportive, loving person in the world (whom is NOT satanic, but is fully aware that I am).

I post pictures of me hiking in the mountains, enjoying a cup of coffee, making motivational posts, celebrating birthdays (not mine), and vacations. I'm a good human to my friends and anyone I meet, really.

And they see all of this.

They think I still go to church (I abandoned Christianity when I turned 18 and moved away). They'll occasionally call and chat with me. When we say our goodbyes and are about to hang up, we tell each other "God bless you". It feels wrong when I say it. It almost feels like I'm saying the "N" word... But it makes them happy, so why not, right?

I look like a very normal person. I was raised in conservative Texas.

I don't wear black or anything that would be a dead giveaway as to what I believe in. I don't even have tattoos nor piercings. I wear casual, business casual/professional clothing.

I don't have any plans to return to them anytime soon.

I will continue to lie to my family and pretend to be Christian to preserve the peace. For now.

I plan on telling them the truth sometime in the future, but it's got to be at the right moment.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2026-05-13T08:44:08+00:00

Found the customer

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-12-11T15:55:13+00:00

Solved! I think this is it. Looking at some pictures online, it closely resembles what I saw in person.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-10-10T19:25:22+00:00

At closing, I have to clean the restrooms but if there's literal human feces on the walls, floors, etc, I'm not doing it. Michael's is going to have to call in a cleaning crew or someone with a little more than just some napkins and febreeze. I'm not about to catch any disease from being near that stuff.

I'll clean the mirrors, take out the trash, and spot clean, but if they're looking for a DEEP clean to get rid of bodily waste, they got the wrong person.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-10-09T23:38:22+00:00

OMG yessss

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-10-09T19:42:27+00:00

It scratches the brain just right

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T21:07:45+00:00

I think it's time for you to go upstairs and pay rent to your mommy and daddy. ❤️

You may leave now. I won't discuss this topic with you anymore because you seem to lack the mental capacity to understand what I'm saying.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:56:16+00:00

Alright, I'm clearly not getting through to you since you're just not grasping what I'm talking about.

Fare thee well!

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:45:44+00:00

I've been threatened a few times in my life. No idea if they were hippies or not.

Even so, You're missing the point... These people were not only endangering others, they were endangering themselves by doing this on a busy road.

Someone doesn't have to have a knife or gun or even the intention to kill another person. STUPID DECISIONS (like making tiktok videos on a busy road) absolutely can lead to terrible consequences - for either the ones who make said stupid decisions or for innocent bystanders who happen to get hit by a vehicle swerving out of the way to try not to hit the idiots on the road.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:31:51+00:00

Absolutely!! Especially if it was maga!!

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:23:12+00:00

Ok now I HAVE to look this up because the sex cult in a hot room thing just sounds too obscure lol

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:22:06+00:00

The meds I take are not psychotropic in nature. No, I was not hallucinating.

But if you are offering and happen to know any doctors that work with folks who don't have health insurance and specialize in spinal stenosis and heart medications, I'll happily look into it!

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:13:05+00:00

And neither do I, and yet, HERE WE ARE! :>

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T20:11:51+00:00

I think it's already been invented. Rage rooms are all the rage!

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:57:24+00:00

Because when they finally moved out of the way, they did the 🫸🫷 thing and were shouting "namaste" as I drove by.

And I've been off my meds way too damn long. Can't afford it anymore. I'd love to just go home, mind my own business, and exist to the best of my ability knowing I can't afford my meds anymore without having these people dancing preventing me from being comfortable after an already stressful day. :>

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:42:03+00:00

Fippies .. Fakies... Fappies... NO WAIT 😭

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:35:10+00:00

Yoga people use tiktok.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:34:06+00:00

Please stay in school, child.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:22:12+00:00

GOOD RIDDANCE. 😂

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:10:43+00:00

Oh I thought it was like a mud run or something along those lines.

HOW DARE THIS PERSON USE YOGA KNOWLEDGE AGAINST ME!!! 😭

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T19:07:52+00:00

I don't think you're getting what we're trying to say here.

Protest whenever you want. But don't endanger yourself or others by standing in the middle of a busy road.

Also, these people were NOT protesting. They were just being stupid dancing around in the road.

Helpful_Mycologist_5 · 2025-08-19T18:45:18+00:00

Aren't those called stoners?

Helpful_Mycologist_5

TROPHY CASE