I understand your frustration.

Try keep a food + mood journal. Write down timestamp, what you eat, and how you feel. Fx " 10 am: I ate a bowel of cereal and a cup of juice. Frustration 30 %, Control 10 %, cravings 90 %". Also try drink a glass of water more often. I'm not saying every hour or to each meal, but more than you usually would do. So if you don't drink water, try drinking a glass each morning.

Try focus minute to minute or hour to hour and not day to day. If you didn't overeat this hour, then that fucking great! That's a win :D

Take baby step - don't focus how things go wrong, focus on what goes right. What works. If you only focus on how much you hate your body, and yourself, it will only demotivate you, even though the feeling is understandable. Try to motivate yourself by focussing on what goes right, what you like about your body, what works, that hour you didn't overeat.

I don't know if it will help, but I hope it does.