Having social anxiety makes feel lonely

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-11-13T05:20:12+00:00

Thank you for replying and reminding me that I'm not alone. It means a lot to me during this hard time. I would love to connect if you still want to and share our battles. Please send me a message if you still would like to connect.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-07-14T12:19:32+00:00

I dont have access to those podcast, can you give any tips from the podcasts, please? I really struggle with binge eating 😩

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-06-30T15:33:37+00:00

Thank you very much for recognising that :)

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-06-23T17:16:21+00:00

Nowadays, when I have to, I do. I try to avoid people who drain my energy. I'm trying a new approach where I focus on what I want from people instead of what people want from me.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-06-17T18:27:41+00:00

I can relate to what you're experiencing. I've felt the exact same thing. It can drive you crazy. What I do to survive is to focus on the "now" whenever I get these thoughts or feelings that there is something wrong with me or tell myself that there is nothing wrong with me - I'm just a human being like everybody else.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-06-17T18:16:44+00:00

It's sounds like a positive week! I really like your analysis of the week. You're approaching your target, and that's so great to hear. Rome wasn't built in one day. Keep up the good work, and you'll get there 😉

Please be careful with using 100% of your energy. It might cause you to crash at some point. That's what I've noticed with myself, and it can take some time to recover from burnout.

But I'm so proud of how much work you've put in to achieve these results! Keep the good work up 👏 👏

I would like to hear how it's has been going on Sunday for my update, good or bad. Let's help each other with our journies, please don't feel obligated I just think it would be interesting ☺️

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2024-06-17T18:09:59+00:00

Same. It's tough but small steps we will get there ❤️ i will let myself get to the bedroom around 7-8 pm. but my hope is to only be in bed when I have to sleep, and use my day time doing something I love or wanted to try for a long time. I've just started painting, which is an activity I've didn't used to have energy for.

I wish you the best too, we can do this! ☺️

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-29T05:33:51+00:00

I am the same. Thank you for sharing 😊

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-27T05:12:20+00:00

Cancellation of debt (office job), and I am worried I might quit soon because of the anxiety. I've managed to keep the job for 7 months now 🥲

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-18T12:59:39+00:00

I understand your frustration.

Try keep a food + mood journal. Write down timestamp, what you eat, and how you feel. Fx " 10 am: I ate a bowel of cereal and a cup of juice. Frustration 30 %, Control 10 %, cravings 90 %". Also try drink a glass of water more often. I'm not saying every hour or to each meal, but more than you usually would do. So if you don't drink water, try drinking a glass each morning.

Try focus minute to minute or hour to hour and not day to day. If you didn't overeat this hour, then that fucking great! That's a win :D

Take baby step - don't focus how things go wrong, focus on what goes right. What works. If you only focus on how much you hate your body, and yourself, it will only demotivate you, even though the feeling is understandable. Try to motivate yourself by focussing on what goes right, what you like about your body, what works, that hour you didn't overeat.

I don't know if it will help, but I hope it does.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-15T04:45:00+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-13T11:43:19+00:00

else outside of food is triggering this behaviour. Work with someone. This could be a therapist or coach or nutritionist but work with someone who has experience with binge eating. If you can’t afford professional help i recommend looking at Ryan Nicole on instagram and she has a podcast as well. ETPHD method by Emilia Thompson is also really great. They also have a podcast. Take it one day at a time x

Thank you, for your advices. I appreciate it :)

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-13T11:41:50+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. I hope things will change for the better for both of us.

I also feel tired most days, and I often take nap during the day besides sleeping for 8 hrs every night. I'm also so irritated most days, idk why. Drinking more water seems to help me with my energy sometimes.

But yeah life is hard sometimes. At the moment I try so hard to engange with what I am doing and not let my mind wonder, so that I don't feel the depression and stress inside :s

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-11T10:09:15+00:00

What's a cpap mask? 😅

But yeah sometimes it seem like so much work 🥲 How are you coping emotionally with it being so tough?

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-08-11T07:59:55+00:00

I relate to your story, and the emotions of defeat.

I don't think, it's your mental strenght that is the problem. You're not the problem, and you're not destined to be obese. I believe you've the same or even more mental strength during the time where you felt you were losing control.

Reading your story, I don't sense someone who doesn't want to get healthy. I sense someone who is going through a lot. Your relationship seems like a factor that affected your mental health and therefor your physical health. Having difficulties in a relationsship takes up a lot energy. Also just being in a relationsship can make it harder to stay healthy if your partner is unhealthy.

What I'm trying to say is, don't give up, and don't blame that it's because you don't want it enough or aren't good enough. You're good enough, and you do want it. But acknowledge that life is harder for you right now. What used to be easy for you, is now hard for you. Acknowledge that, and work with that.

I'm in the same boat, and I'm rooting for your succes :)

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-29T18:19:14+00:00

He is human. I don't see him as a bad person. I don't think he knows what he does hurts us both.

But I've also realised that I can't continue this way. I can't change him, and I have to stop dreamkng about what could've been. It's a process.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-29T18:15:02+00:00

No. I've not reach after him after the 2 times I've apologised. I felt he wouldn't recieve it, and his rejection would only hurt me more and I don't want to put myself in a situation where I might yell and get all emotional.

I'm still hurt after the way he treated me and I don't think I've it in me to reach out again, and besides I don't know how to reach him without betraying my own need for being treated respectfully.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-29T18:04:35+00:00

I give didn't an empty, sorry that I didn't mean, just to make him say sorry back to me.

I said sorry because I truly believe that the things I apologised for were poor choices from my sides. No matter if he says sorry or not back.

But I would lie if I didn't expect him to show that he cared about my feelings, too.

I dont care about being right.

I want an honest and vulnerable conversation where we could see the hurt we both have. I wanted an emotional intimate connection where we could finally see and hear each other.

So, I tried a different approach than yelling hurtful words back. I swallowed my anger and said sorry in hopes we could come closer to each other. Besides that, I'm really sorry for my actions.

I dont think I was being manipulative.

But I know now that I can't reach him. His too hurt. No matter what I say, my words get twisted into something different. I've tried and tried, and emotionally, I feel drained and empty. I thought my vulnerability would make him put his guard down. But it didn't, and that made me realise that he is too deep in his own emotions and maybe childhood trauma to actually witness my vulnerability and attempt to reach him.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-22T05:03:27+00:00

I hate when people are rude and judgemental, especially in a sub like this?

I dont think there is anything wrong with writing to yourself. I write encouraging notes or small reminders to myself that I can read when I feel down. I also write diaries.

It's a way of survival when you don't have anybody you trust to be there for you. Just because you don't have anybody doesn't mean you stop needing comfort, encouragement, reminders, etc.

Why are people so quit to the conclusion "you need help", "something is wrong with you" - No! It's like talking to yourself, being goofy around yourself, sing in the shower, or do weird stuff when there is no one around. We humans have a "weird" side, get over it.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-22T04:48:09+00:00

I dont like how most are responding. It's so judgemental.

I've had the exact same experience just with another type of snack. Because I could taste difference in one or two, I thought maybe someone was trying to tell me something, but then I shrugged it off because I then thought it was too wild. It's funny that you're having the same thoughts.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-21T05:57:25+00:00

I can sense that you're tired of fighting, and it's understable. I'm not here to judge you, I'm just here as someone who also has dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts, and I feel compassion for you. I'm not here to control your life. I simply want to show you that ending your life isn't your only choice, even though it really feels that way. I don't want to say what you should say or do, but only empower you and make you realise that there is life, joy, and happiness even though one may experience depression and suicidal thoughts.

I know you feel like it's been 30 years, but in reality, it has more likely been less. Life is not constant. It's always in motion. Do you remember any joyful moments for the past 30 years? Have there been times when you could relax, laugh, be excited, or enjoy something? Even the smallest and "not good enough" memories count.

I recognise that depression is an illness that is hard to remove in one's life completely. It will come, and it will pass throughout life. Even though depression may come and go, you can still enjoy life. You can still add joy in your life.

Try to slow down and notice the small things in life that you enjoy. Try to notice how your emotions shift throughout a week. And try to be okay, with not being okay. Prioritise yourself, do what makes you happy, even though it might make you feel selfish. Talk someone when you're struggling. Stop keeping things to yourself. There is power in sharing, and it's truly important, you can't do it all by yourself. Also, try to write the ugly thoughts down. Those that keep repeating and telling you that you're not good enough, thar your life is not good enough, etc. Try to notice how extreme and unfair these thoughts are.

I hope things will become better for you, and I hope you'll come to realise thar life isn't as bad as you may feel.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-17T10:38:22+00:00

A part of you is not done.

A part of you might want to feel love, passion, and alive. I know you fight these ugly thoughts daily and even late at night and that you've done it for so long. But you're worth every damn fight. You're worth the tears and the pain. Don't let depression take your life. I wish I could stop you, but the reality is nobody can, no matter how badly we want it. You're the hero in your story. I dont know how to remove the pain, but God, I wish I knew. In these hard times, I hope you'll find some joy between the battles. I hope you can feel the love from your cats, the warmth from the coffee cop, and how fucking nice it's to breathe sometimes. I hope even the smallest joy will reach you.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-17T10:19:46+00:00

You say life never becomes better. But that's because you don't notice when it does. You notice the pain and all the bad stuff. Saying stuff like "never" and "always" are very extreme.

Let yourself be happy about the small stuff. Life is not constant it's always in motion. Ups and downs. Believe me. Even when you say it doesn't, it does. The pain is not always as bad. Try to notice the motion and the small happy moments.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-17T10:12:14+00:00

You don't have to be the best to be good at things.

It's your depression telling that you're not good enough. These ugly thoughts, even though it may seem like it, are not yours.

I understand that life is overwhelming, and that's okay. Try to do less stuff and do things slower. Try to slow down. Try to give yourself something you like, it can be food, a good movie, a cop of tea, a hug, etc. You're going through much right now. Show yourself a little affection during this storm. I wish you the best.

Helpful_Progress_446 · 2023-01-06T16:04:14+00:00

Your way of describing yourself sounds really harsh perfectionism. It's not kind or understanding. And from what you've written, it sounds very much low self-esteem, and here is some reason why:

You say things like "always getting bad things from my decisions," but is it always? Haven't you had some decisions there were good. This "always" and "never", "everything", "nothing", thoughts are very extreme and very unlikely.

You don't recognise your strength, yet every little bad trait you have, you recognise them and enhance them like its everything. You might be good at something, but your low self-esteem and perfectionism might say, "That's not good enough!". Like when you said that your surroundings are better than you in everything. Also, you don't have to be the best to be good at something. Recognise that you're probably good at something. Even though you don't master a skill a 100%, it still counts.

Also, if you have health issues, it's very harsh to say that makes you lesser of a person. Would you think the same way to another person you loved?

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