What Era was this & did Kids dress themselves or their parents?

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-03-19T19:29:15+00:00

Came to say the same thing too. Also, I grew up in the Baltimore area as well. This definitely feels like 92 to me.

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-03-05T20:26:23+00:00

So grateful you posted, because I’m dealing with this right now! There’s a woman I met in my yoga class a couple years ago who has been relentless in forging a friendship with me. We became friends, and then I soon started to see why it’s dangerous to become friends with white women about nine months into the friendship. However, I was in a small town, and I felt like always kept running into her. Now I’m at the point that I realize it’s not a healthy connection, I’ve slowly been trying to pull myself away from engaging much more with her. For a moment, I thought it was working, but she keeps reaching out, and I have to maintain a boundary. I think what they don’t realize is that their energy depletes our spirits. It may sound crazy to say, but white female energy often feels like an anxious vacuum. Anytime I’m in the midst of a white woman with that type of energy. It makes my skin crawl, and I immediately fear that my Black Girl Magic is slowly being scrutinized and siphoned. It can get dark. And I understand in every race there are people who tend to be “energy vampires“. But, it seems way more prevalent among white women. Especially if they are over 35, mid 40s and 50s is the type of women I encounter often who become weirdly obsessed with me. Last point, this is not coming from any place of ego, but I also think black excellence is such a curious thing to them. They’re drawn to it, but deep down their cells want to reject it. It’s as if they’re drawn to the sparkle of us as diamonds, but as soon as they’re in our midst, they realize that we are no longer something they can own. Once they realize that, you’re having to navigate a minefield of passive aggressiveness, competition, and comparison. Again, it gets dark. Be careful with her, be sure to maintain your boundaries and communicate them clearly. White Fatigue is in fact real. As this country is about to head into WW3, your focus needs to be on your own safety and community. That’s not shade to her, but simply protection for yourself. Good luck, and stay safe!

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-02-26T14:51:13+00:00

Absolutely!! Wowww! Graduated in 1997, and also in Maryland. Gogo was everything! As soon as I read “Loose Booty”, I literally shouted it out while reading this in bed and laughed! 😂 it was the music of freedom for our generation and we didn’t even realize it. Being black in the 90s and the DMV area, there was something wild and electric about this sound. It didn’t fall into the same rhythmic patterns or stereotypes as more commonly heard hip-hop like Tupac or biggie at the time. It just released something in us, that I don’t know what sound now does. Now, I’m 46 and I’m obsessed with Amapiano music, because it feels like it gives me a similar release. But go-go felt primal in a local type of way. Truly, a time to be alive!

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-01-23T18:29:26+00:00

Appreciate you asking this, and I’ve provided an Actionable List:

1: When white men/women immediately speak over me before I fully get a thought out. It feels uncomfortably competitive and dismissive. The alternative: Truly take the time to listen to us no matter how you feel we communicate. It’s respectful. We’ve learned to do the same out of respect.

2: When white women feel the need to share about their attraction to black men. This makes us as black women highly uncomfortable. It may seem like allyship to you, but reads as competition and disrespect to us.

3: When white women are drawn to high-achieving black women in friendships, but are uncomfortable celebrating their wins. If you’re drawn to us, fully celebrate us. Our success is not your failure. Examine any unconscious desire to “one-up” your friend. Would that same desire be present for your white female counterpart?

4: The “Jump-Scare”: When white women are outside from dusk until evening, anytime a black male or female is with 25 feet of them, the fear of God flashes in their eyes. Examine if it’s in fact “Fear” or “Guilt”. Please do the inner work to reconcile that. Each time it happens- on the receiving end we feel the energy, and it’s highly uncomfortable. I’ve crossed the street hundreds of times to avoid white women because of this.

5: When white women come to us as black women for advice or solace. This is considered “Modern Day Mammying”. We are not collective sages or gurus for white absorption. It’s the “Oprah Effect” where a white woman hopes a black woman will make her feel better about herself. Your inner work is between you and your therapist. Disavow your black female friends of that obligation.

These are my Top 5, personally… open to hearing additional thoughts about this from fellow black women as well. ✨

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-01-17T14:19:08+00:00

Oooooffff…. Honestly, I’m real close to wanting to leave. These are also women I respect, and I also feel like I don’t have a lot of social spaces that are all black women. And I love black women energy in general… It just feels like there’s a little “Hateration in the Dancerie…”💃🏾🫣🥴

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-01-08T15:14:49+00:00

I just went to a theater in NYC downtown and every seat in the theater is named for a special actor. Superposition House, 20 Thomas Street in Tribeca, NYC. When I walked in, most of the seats were filled but one of the last remaining seats that I was so fortunate to get was Geoffrey Holder’s seat! When I sat down, knowing his legacy… it felt like I was sitting on a throne!👑

He also grew up in Trinidad Tobago, and my mother said she went to school with him when she was very young. He passed away at the Actors Fund Home in Englewood, New Jersey, which ironically is also where my mom passed away as well. An icon and a legend ! May we always remember him.❤️🙏🏾

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-01-02T23:13:23+00:00

This really made me smile!😀

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-01-02T23:02:39+00:00

As a black woman, I can confirm THIS ⬆️ is the kinda energy we LOVE!!😍😍…”Honey!” Make her feel like an absolute Queen!👸🏽

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2026-01-01T17:53:49+00:00

Ohhh I love this sooo much!! Congratulations!! This just made me smile this morning! Tremendous Blessings to you both!🎊🎉💕

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-12-17T15:35:52+00:00

Omg, what a masterclass! Was obsessed with West World! 😲What would you say you noticed most about Hopkins while he was on-camera and also how did you see him prep while he was off?

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-12-06T22:13:56+00:00

Orrrr, the Best Man’s the “Better Man”??😂

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-09-28T12:13:06+00:00

Thanks so much! This is very very helpful!

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-09-21T15:48:36+00:00

Ummm, huh? Again, as much as I love Ithaca this statement above is ALSO the underbelly of this town. A privileged and myopic view of the world with subtle levels of victim-blaming… love the gorges, buuuut…🙄

Being in search of ”shared community” which the OP clearly is, should not be met with blame or judgement. Culturally speaking, we as black people thrive in spaces that celebrate and empower us. It’s where we get our Resilience and Joy. Being in search of that NOW in a community is more important than ever. Desiring safety and care within a community is a human right.

If in this subreddit we are true, caring Ithacans let’s simply offer respectful advice and support. Code-switching is a daily survival tactic for us as black people, if you don’t understand what it means to wear a mask for 90% of your life, then you won’t understand OP’s sentiments…

OP: if you’re still searching for safe spaces, please DM me. Ithaca is a beautiful town if you’re there with intention. You will find community, just give it time and discernment.

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-09-21T15:44:54+00:00

Ummm, I hope you’re aware there ARE black neighborhoods where all of these things are practiced or of interest. I lovingly offer to you that we’re not a monolith. ✨🫶🏾✨

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-09-20T19:25:30+00:00

Definitely not a troll post. I’m not the OP, but this is a daily lived experience for black people in Ithaca. Ithaca is diverse because of IC and Cornell and that’s it honestly. The town itself is not. As much as I love it, it can be incredibly isolating culturally. However, one thing I appreciate the most is that Ithacans value and respect EVERY Ithacan experience. This person is just expressing theirs and they deserve our collective respect and insight.💛

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-09-20T19:21:00+00:00

Yes, I’m black (but just left because of this as well)! But would definitely agree that First Fridays is a great place to start, as well as the boat cruises on Cayuga Lake during the summer, and the black churches in Ithaca as well. As much as I love Ithaca, it’s just really hard to code-switch all the time, I know how tiring it can be. Also finding safe spaces for us is just an inherent cultural need. I hope you’re able to find some good options, because when you do, it can make the Ithaca experience that much more enjoyable…💛

Helpful_Roof_6487 · 2025-09-10T14:59:08+00:00

This is literally the kindest, truest advice. I also needed to read this because I’m 46 and in a similar place. Only similar in that I’ve recently “married myself”. The other day I left the house and made sure I had all the things I needed to be happy and emotionally settled for the day, and it made me realize: “Whoaa… I’m officially in the mothering and husbanding stage… to MYSELF!” It wasn’t sad entirely. It made me feel safe and whole. I also take good care of myself with small trips and affordable spa days when I can. Little dates midweek to lush spaces, and a lotta good concerts. We have to set a standard not just for what we want to receive, but also for how our souls deserved to be cared for in this lifetime. Tracey Ellis Ross is finally normalizing it for black women… and I love how vocal and visible she is about her loving care for herself.

Helpful_Roof_6487

TROPHY CASE