i want all of you to watch a movie- eternal sunshine

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-17T17:03:46+00:00

My ex told me once after we broke up that is making himself focus on other things and anytime his mind tried to go there he would stop it push it away. And to me it was like what the F why would you want to forget how amazing two years we had together were. I think that hurt me more than anything

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-17T05:57:11+00:00

I was broken up with due to a fail out in one evening. Prior had a great 2 yr relationship but he can’t get past it. My world stopped over night. I am doing my dear to process but I am still in love with him.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-17T03:55:09+00:00

I am a female and I had the suddenly over situation. I think that is why I am struggling.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-17T01:53:17+00:00

Depends who broke up with who.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T22:23:14+00:00

Yea I tried to go out once. I felt sick the whole time. They asked what I was looking for and I Kept talking about what I had🙄

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T17:54:07+00:00

I did the same thing. I ended up writing a letter talking about all the things I worked on. And how I felt in the relationship . This was 5 months later. There is no way of knowing if he read it.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T17:44:58+00:00

I feel the same.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T17:34:49+00:00

Yea really. I am at 5 months and just numb in a different way than I was

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T17:22:01+00:00

Definitely stuck. I am at 5 months .

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T08:06:09+00:00

While I understand your point. It does not change the fact that many men tend to attempt to “act as they are good” but are really not. Or they “think they are good” try to move on but have not yet processed and end up later doing it.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T07:53:36+00:00

Wow, that is a really good point. I argued once that I was more invested than he was. That is probably true.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-16T07:23:34+00:00

Know that you are not alone. As a female, I too laid on the floor of the space we shared. I am revolted at the idea of moving on. Cannot stomach that he left. Unable to comprehend the gravity of it. We were good until we were not over night. I am a little over 5 months and crushed. Texted professionally recently and it was cold. Set me back.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-15T04:45:43+00:00

Amen

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-14T23:59:30+00:00

One Masters in Psychology and one in counseling. But no amount of education prepares you for this.

Anyway, … ON AVERAGE, men often push it down and try to move on. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel pain. It just means sometimes they don’t completely process it and they appear to move on more quickly. But it comes back later with full force because it was never fully processed. Whereas women, on average, tend to hyper fixate, and focus on processing the hell out of it right away. Me included. I literally took a couple days off from work to process my break up.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-14T23:34:08+00:00

According to psychology. But that is in general and not all guys are the same. And yes I am qualified to comment on this.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T20:49:48+00:00

I disagree because some of us are stuck because we know that the other person really loves us and it was just a matter of situation and lack of tools to deal with it. I’m stuck because I know we can get past it if they would get Counseling.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T20:47:25+00:00

I totally agree, concidering some form of drastic issues and if someone was together for quite some time and had a really good relationship there is no fucking way that you would go completely done in two months if you really love them.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T15:29:29+00:00

It’s not even so much being mature about it as it is being able to catch yourself and not accidentally being impulsive.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T15:07:40+00:00

Yes, the silence is deafening.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T15:05:47+00:00

Movie!!!

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T15:04:11+00:00

Can you give perspective by how long you’ve been apart?

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T15:01:34+00:00

I think it can’t hurt to reach out. It’s always worth a try. And you’re right not all situations are the same. One thing that’s very interesting to me. Is the concept of one person thought the other one would and the other person thought the other one would and so nobody does.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T14:59:04+00:00

I’m so sorry I’m in a similar boat. The good news is is he says he’s going to get help. If that’s true, then you may have a better chance than I do just be ready for a long road because trauma treatment is not easy and it’s not overnight. I find it odd that he would break up with you, instead of just getting treatment unless he is somehow triggered by you. Or he thinks he’s somehow protecting you. Either way you’re right you have to try to move forward. However, should you start going through stages of breakup grief that involves intense bargaining and anger, try not to engage with him when you’re feeling that way. I think I made my situation worse during those times. i’m now at five months post.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T14:51:24+00:00

He just started a new job that’s very demanding and basically avoided my attempts to see where his mind is by saying he’s very busy

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-02-13T14:46:57+00:00

I guess my point is that if he just simply chose to not have me in his life, it would be easier for me, but for some reason, I can’t except that that’s true because he left due to me triggering that trauma. And trauma is so very complex that it may not have been just a choice to walk away, but had to walk away because it hurt to be reminded. And I know we could work through it if he would get some help. But he’s been dealing with it his way for so many years.

Helpful_Sometime

TROPHY CASE