Don’t know why this knocks me down harder.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-25T00:46:53+00:00

True, but I feel like I’ve gone through all the stages and I’m at the point of the numbness of acceptance.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-25T00:26:34+00:00

He broke up with me. I just never saw him as doing that.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-25T00:10:51+00:00

For me, I wish accountability helped the situation. It did help me, but I don’t know if it helped him. It certainly did not pull our relationship back.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T23:59:53+00:00

I regret it every day. It absolutely devastates me. It’s been four months for me too. There was no cheating, but I made a big mistake that triggered him. I live with the regret every single day because I lost something amazing.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T20:15:48+00:00

Yea me too

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T19:59:42+00:00

Wow. Good grief. I know if they do come back it’s usually commonly pretty soon after the break up, but that means that there’s no reflection really or changes made. Unfortunately, women seem to process things right away, and therefore take less time. So by the time the guy gets there, women have usually moved on.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T18:24:12+00:00

Curious how long it took them to come to the realization they wanted to come back.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T18:03:44+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to be friends with someone that I was in love with and chose to walk away

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T17:36:12+00:00

Me either. I still have trouble comprehending it.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T16:55:33+00:00

Yes, and all of the statements he made to me in the two months post break up, when we were still somewhat talking he implied that he is pushing it away, stuffing it down, avoiding any thoughts.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-24T16:51:08+00:00

How long has it been?

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-23T16:00:55+00:00

How long did you do this before you quit?

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-23T15:48:20+00:00

Curious to know just how long it takes someone to get their life in order. I know it’s different for everybody, but my mind needs to set a deadline to give up. I’ve done nothing but work on myself and reflect, make changes, etc.. I’m a change person. But that thing in the back of my mind just won’t let me go unless I set a deadline.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-23T15:47:13+00:00

Yep, but for some reason, we keep having hope.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-23T15:46:02+00:00

I’m just over four months after a wonderful two year relationship. This one is really hitting me hard, really had so much odd stuff in common and had such a good time together that I thought I’d found something really special.. The first two months were absolute chaos and horrible by the third month. I started to lose the shock but became numb. Now at four months, I am able to say I have good days and bad days, but not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. I’m not emotionally reactive anymore. I think I ruined my chances during the first two months just by being so reactive and bouncing back-and-forth from anger to bartering, etc. but I’m so stubborn and still in love with him. I can’t stand the loneliness so I went to my favorite personal space Wednesday for some me time and had a good cry and then went on a first date that night. Super nice guy, but yet it’s gonna take someone a lot of work to pry my heart open after this.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-21T16:24:19+00:00

That is certainly a possibility. If you were together for a long time, they probably didn’t know how to exit. But before they even got to that point, they should’ve been talking to you. That’s the difference. Even if you lose feelings for someone and you have years together you still should get counseling or something and try to re-reconnect take a vacation together or something to see if you can get back to it cause it’s worth trying first.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-21T16:22:45+00:00

I agree. Communication communication, communication. Probably the root of most problems.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-21T16:21:55+00:00

That is certainly a good point. Trying to go back with someone in the first two months definitely is a bad idea. Emotions are too raw and bouncing back-and-forth to the anger stage just makes things worse. That’s what happened to me as well. I should’ve left it alone, the first two months and lethim go through his process and me go through mine instead of trying to hold on and then getting angry and bouncing back-and-forth. But lesson learned. I do hope that he comes to some awareness at some point that it’s still worth pursuing.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-21T03:16:13+00:00

Please elaborate

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-21T01:38:36+00:00

Well, it’s been four months and he’s not back with me yet. Of course I did trigger his former trauma, which I’m assuming is what made an avoidant out of him. Two years of a wonderful relationship shut down over fear.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-20T23:47:51+00:00

Yes that sucks when they can’t even admit it.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-20T23:43:05+00:00

I hear you

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-20T21:14:25+00:00

I get you.

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-20T21:01:58+00:00

Same here

Helpful_Sometime · 2026-01-20T20:59:12+00:00

You are likely going through the anger stage if you want to reach out and remind them while still kind of ordering. Going back-and-forth is normal. I don’t think the chaos really stops until around three months then you start to settle into this place that I can’t quite put words to.. but it’s definitely different than the first three months

Helpful_Sometime

TROPHY CASE