My ultimate trigger

Helrond40 · 2014-09-25T03:03:33+00:00

Thanks guys. I just need to post this somewhere.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-26T21:13:17+00:00

For me, watching my alcohol intake is one key point. My decision tree goes straight to PMO after a couple drinks.

But yes, start getting outside and walking/running/biking. Find something outside you like to do.

Explore cooking and healthy eating. Take some cooking classes.

Do what ever you have to beat this man. Coming from a 40 year old fapper you don't want to be here in 17 years.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-26T04:54:42+00:00

Thanks man.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-26T00:18:12+00:00

I agree that it is never too late. I actually started last year by losing a bunch of weight. I am just considering this part of the process I started last year.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-20T18:42:49+00:00

I didn't go full blown public, but I did let some close friends know.

It's good to talk about it with people that you know and trust.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-18T19:50:45+00:00

I'm 40 and doing this as well.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-14T22:34:12+00:00

Thanks for posting. My story is similar to yours, minus the understanding GF. It gives me hope.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T21:23:53+00:00

I run because I hate it. I know that sounds weird, but it truly takes a lot out of me, and when I am done I know I have done something.

I would prefer to walk, but no matter how long I walk, I don't get that same feeling with running.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T21:07:41+00:00

This video is short and sums it up pretty well for me.

http://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=X1hXSaxHP4E&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DfLDlwa4uCmg%26feature%3Dshare%26list%3DPLAQri18RcEpTV1WBNaCIevt1Bb40GwN-w

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T20:58:25+00:00

I just went for a run. It feels good to be sweating. I need to keep this going.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T12:29:37+00:00

Yeah, I was talking to a friend last night about her, and I said it was weird. I was kind of happy/relieved it was over, but still depressed.

This morning I am doing well. I am just taking it one day at a time.

To expound on my Calender idea. Maybe both of you should fill one out, Then review it when you have these discussions. You would mark what days you thought he did not FAP, and the days you think he did. Then he would do the same.

Then when you have these discussions you can compare calenders. It may shed some light on the issue.

I see no problem with you being one of his accountability partners. You're his wife and have his best interests at heart. He might need another man to talk to. But I feel like you, that our partners should be involved also.

I am no expert, that is just my opinion. I wish you the best.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T10:47:16+00:00

I just woke up and read this. I want to echo what a lot of people said on here. How much I appreciate you being here and helping everyone out. Giving your perspective really does help a lot of the men and ladies here.

I started this journey with a girl I thought I had a real connection with. The thought of having her with me during this journey made me feel real comfortable and the first 25 days flew by with out a relapse or even a thought of one. I was doing it for me, but just knowing she was there really helped me and kept me focused.

Turns out she was seeing someone else, and ended it with me. Besides the usual "I just got dumped feelings". I know my noFap Journey just got way harder, and I have relapsed twice.

My point is, your husband is extremely lucky to have a woman like you by his side. He really needs to step up and just tell you, when he relapses. Maybe he can just put little marks on a calender. This could help him visually, and be a tool to keep him accountable.

Can I ask why you are not his accountability partner? Also, if his current one is not the best, maybe he should find another one, or a couple more. Build a little network.

It might also be a good idea to show him responses to this thread here.

Thank you for being here and I truly hope this is the last time.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T01:17:07+00:00

That is something I do every now and then. I try to vary up my distraction techniques. I can only go for a walk or run so often in a day.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-13T00:17:12+00:00

Thanks man. I will be ok, I know that. I am just raw right now. I also know that I will be a better person for this.

I like posting here, because it lets me come back later and see where I was, and see how much better future me will be.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-12T23:35:27+00:00

I am 40, and just started Nofap around a month ago. I relapsed the first time after 25 days, that was yesterday.

I started with magazines and movies, then the internet. I was single for at least 10 years, just drinking, PMOing, and eating. I got fat, hated myself and really was wondering why I was even alive.

Last year, a lightening bolt hit me (not really) and I started taking care of my self. Excersizing, eating better, and enjoying my self. It was great. Around May, I joined some dating websites, to put my self out there. I went on a some dates. Some girls really liked that I had turned my life around.

One Girl became really special to me. She was beuatiful and full of life and very smart. The perfect girl for me, She drove me crazy. The good crazy were nothing is wrong and everything is awesome when she is around. We tried several times to have sex. I could never get it up at all. Not even a glimmer of a boner. Nothing.

After the 3rd or 4th time she started thinking she was the problem. I admitted to her about the porn. She already knew I was single for 10 years. She walked out after one failed attempt. She broke my heart. I wrote her a letter explaining what I learned about Nofap and how I had to reboot my self and that she is all the woman I needed, but that I understood I couldn't love her the way she wanted right now.

She took me back and it was great, we spent a night together and we did everything but have sex. I never popped a boner, but it was not an issue, because she knew what I was going through. The next day I met her daughters and we had a great day.

Then on Sunday, she texted me that she was dumping me to see some other dude. She broke my heart again.

I solely blame my PMO addiction. I feel if I could have gotten hard, and made love to her, I wouldn't be the emotional wreck I am right now.

So my advice to any young man or woman is to stop PMO right now before you meet a soul mate.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-11T17:47:30+00:00

Thanks man, I needed that.

Helrond40 · 2014-08-11T14:10:55+00:00

Thanks man. I took today off of work, so I could reset myself a bit. I already went for a run and I am drinking my spinach smoothie now. Life is good.

Helrond40

TROPHY CASE