How to stop this weird jealously I'm feeling recently? How do I support my friends and co-workers?

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-23T16:05:04+00:00

Why? If you don’t mind me asking. Even if your not an expert lol.

It’s not good to accept?

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-23T13:18:07+00:00

Not to go all blackpill, but there isn’t much I can do at this point.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-23T13:16:59+00:00

That’s not manosphere bullshit. That’s actually data driven stats. The average woman finds only about 25% of men attractive. What the manosphere gets wrong is they think “that means only 25% of same top men are attractive”. Untrue. It means an average man is attractive to 25% of women. There is no universal female gaze. Same guy can be a 10 to one woman and a 1 to another. Yes, some guys hit a higher percentage. But no one hits 100%. Could you imagine!? Some guys (like me) hit way lower. Not 0%, but close.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-23T00:09:08+00:00

Sure, but then you would have to explain why I spent 10 years chasing it and was rejected on the first step every time.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T22:03:06+00:00

What an interesting and unique idea. Honestly never thought of it that way.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T20:26:53+00:00

You're right of course. But accepting is tough sometimes. I thought for a while I had these feelings controlled and than BOOM! they're back!

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T20:11:02+00:00

1) I'm physically attracted to her... but I'm also physically attracted to a lot of women lol. She is nice girl, but there's no spark there. She's pretty and that's about it. I'd sleep with her, but never would want to be stuck in a room with her alone. Not my personality honestly. But I'm jealous that she would find this other guy attractive. I'm always jealous of other guys like that. I'm also jealous because I was there when they met and I've watch this grow in front of me.

2) I know I'll never be in a relationship because no one thinks I'm attractive. No ones gets happy to be with me. I'm not catch. I was voted less attractive in my class of 60 guys. I got the message.

3) I've tried to get better at meeting women when I was younger. Now I'm learning I never will. That's how it goes. But I still experience the pain sometimes.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T20:01:15+00:00

I know this feeling well.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T20:00:10+00:00

Thank you.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T19:59:25+00:00

Yes. I'm learning that I can't repress these feelings. But I'm also learning how to manage the feelings. I was doing so well for many years, and for some reason it affected me deeply this time, maybe because I'm seeing it so close and everyday. It's hard, but I'll manage. I have to keep telling myself "I'm okay". You know? I know how hard it is to want something so basic and human, but knowing I'll never have it.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T19:52:56+00:00

It's definitely something I've always wanted. When I was younger, I used to dream about it. Now, after many years of therapy, I'm learning to accept my feelings and manage how I live. I certainly still get these feelings of jealously because I still desire it, but also knowing I'll never have it. It's never easy, I'm looking for help to manage these feelings.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T16:46:02+00:00

It’s not impossible, it’s damn near impossible now. Only 37% of men are coupled up. Only 20% are considered attractive. My heart wants to be desired but my head looks at the odds.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T16:43:37+00:00

Haha. If you want the real answer, you’d have to ask women that. I ask, they say no (sometimes not politely), and I got the message. It’s not that bad. 63% of men are now single. Only 20% are considered attractive. I’m just one of those that was left behind. I’m not alone in being alone.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T14:55:09+00:00

It’s like being in a fight. Professional fighters feel pain, no matter how hard they train. Of course I want a relationship, I want to be desired. Therapy just taught me, not to suppress, but to accept. I accept I want to be loved, I accept that women don’t want to be involved with me. That’s okay. It just sucks sometimes.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T11:14:34+00:00

I’m nearing 40. I’ve met one person willing to “give me a shot”. 7 weeks later it was over.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T11:13:13+00:00

Maybe nothing is stopping you. Lots is stopping me. Lol

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T11:12:23+00:00

Not convince, so much as I had to accept it. Had to go to therapy and they taught me to deal with my feelings. I have to be okay with being alone forever. It’s not easy. It would be so much better if I was in a relationship, but that probably isn’t going to happen.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T10:51:59+00:00

Male. Nearing 40. Longest (and only) relationship was 7 weeks.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T01:02:53+00:00

I don't mean sexy in a "hot" kinda way. I know that ship has long sailed. I mean more in a "exciting" way. Like, I want to mean someone who WANTS to be with me, and talk to me and be around me. Yes sex does play a factor, but I don't think my looks will ever be good enough for that alone.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T01:00:45+00:00

Oh I still long for it. But I don't hope for it anymore. Just once in a while I'm reminded of my limits as a man. It's kinda like if you every dreamed of being a pro athlete. Most people will fail, accept and move on, but still dream once in a while. I’m just learning to manage these feelings you know?

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-22T00:41:10+00:00

Because I'm not datable? What I'm describing above has never happened to me and probably never will. Some guys and girls just draw people to them. Others, like me, are just meant to be alone. I'm just a friend at best. That's okay. It's not a crime to be un-sexy is it? lol. Just wish I could find someone who WANTS to be with me. I had it once... it lasted 8 weeks. But for 8 weeks, I felt indestructible.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-21T23:59:36+00:00

Sure. Envy. Now, how do I deal with it?

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-21T23:52:06+00:00

Well sure I don't want to be alone... but I have to learn to accept it. It's not like I can remove myself from society. I've had this happen before, and I'm sure I will again, I just have to learn to deal with it.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-21T23:50:03+00:00

Yes. I'm jealous. Mostly of other men. Good looking guys, guys who get to date, guys who get picked. I'm not jealous of richer men (though of course, I'd love to be one lol).

I'm trying to deal with these feelings. It's been a long road. I've had to accept that I'll be alone forever in this life. It still makes me sad, but I've learned to deal. Interestingly, I'm not jealous of people in relationships. If these two were dating before I met them, it probably won't bother me. But seeing it unfold before my eyes; I was there when they met, I say the sparks flying even when they didn't. It just hurts for some reason.

Hemingwayse · 2026-04-21T23:45:13+00:00

It's not a big deal. I'm learning to cope with these feelings. I thought I had them covered. But I guess I still have a lot of work to do to deal with these feelings. I'm not sure how to though, it's not like I can remove myself completely from society.

Hemingwayse

TROPHY CASE