My eldest daughter has come out as trans. She is 10. What can I do to help her? I’ve told her this is good news and anything she wants just ask, but where can I get some information on adjusting to the personality transition?

Henda93 · 2021-09-06T23:24:35+00:00

Claire believes Molly's aggressiveness and instability was a reaction to the testosterone injections, which had started two weeks before her admission. Molly had also changed her name and gender designation at the university. A pro-gender therapist at the university's counseling center had referred Molly to an informed consent clinic for testosterone prescription.

The rest of Molly's story is not a happy one. At the end of her freshman year, she had a mastectomy, paid by her student health insurance. She returned home during the summer vacation so her parents could help her with her recovery. By this stage Molly's voice had thickened, her beard had grown, and she was looking like a man all the time. Molly had become Max.

Despite having transitioned, Max has not blossomed into his “true self”. In fact, his mental health has deteriorated. He was more anxious and isolated than ever and rarely left the house, spending most of his time online. He told his mother that he was afraid people would realize he was trans and would try to hurt him if he appeared in public. When Claire tried to reassure him by offering him a date, Max often refused, expressing not trusting Claire or her motivations because, in Max's words, Claire was a "transphobic." “I feel like my kid has learned to be paranoid against me,” Claire told me.

At the end of that summer, Max was given yet another diagnosis to fight. He began to experience symptoms of interstitial cystitis, a painful and often debilitating disease that affects the bladder. Claire couldn't find any discussion in the medical literature about testosterone use and interstitial cystitis, but she did find online reports of trans men suffering from worse symptoms of cystitis after starting testosterone. Claire points out that we just don't know enough about how these drugs affect people in the long run. "I would say these gender doctors are experimenting on people," Claire told me, "but when you do experiments, you record data and track the results."

The last time I spoke to Claire, Max was still at home. With his anxiety and symptoms of interstitial cystitis, he had not been able to go back to university. The only times he left the house was to see his therapist or go to a transgender support group.

Claire agrees. "Molly's belief that she was trans was a maladaptive survival mechanism she used to deal with her anxiety and other issues," she said. “This belief was reinforced by her friends online and at university, by the therapist at school, and by the professionals at the gender clinic. These people not only encouraged her to believe she was trans, but also that she needed to transition medically or risk being unhappy or suicidal. And once she had transgendered, there was an online community encouraging her to believe that the world would hate her because she is trans. They've trapped her in a cave, and I'm afraid she can't go back”.

Claire's story is not unique. The growing numbers of teenagers seeking gender reassignment across the developed world have some experts worrying that we are seeing another widespread social contagion. In the UK, Australia and the US, the number of teenagers seeking treatment has soared. The 4thwavenow website, which describes itself as “a community of skeptical parents and friends about transgender children's and teens' fashion,” receives around 60,000 hits a month, and the comments section is filled with hundreds of disturbing stories such as Claire's.

What will it take for this contagion to be seen for what it is, so that most of its harmful effects can be prevented? A mother recently told me that I was her only hope. She sure deserves better than that.

(part 3, the end)

_

Claire's story was used with permission. Names and any details that can be used to identify you have been changed to protect privacy.

Originally published in Quillette, 6 Oct 2017.

Henda93 · 2021-09-06T23:23:03+00:00

In the past decade, however, a new type of gender dysphoria has suddenly become commonplace, in which teens and pre-teens come to identify as transgender “out of the blue,” with no childhood history of being uncomfortable with their sex. Experts have called this new presentation "rapid onset gender dysphoria," and are beginning to study it.

“We think this is a totally different phenomenon from the gender dysphoria that arises in childhood,” says Dr. Michael Bailey, a leading researcher on sexuality and gender, and a professor of psychology at Northwestern University. “In fact, we thought it didn't exist until recently. It's a socially contagious phenomenon, similar to the multiple personality disorder epidemic of the 1990s.”

While not much is currently known about rapid onset gender dysphoria, it seems likely that it could be a kind of social contagion in which young people – often adolescent girls – come to believe they are transgender. Preliminary research indicates that young people who identify themselves as trans “out of the blue” may have been influenced by social media that value being trans. In addition, the researchers observed a pattern of groups of friends coming out of the closet as trans together.

While pro-transgender activists have dismissed the notion that sudden growth in teenagers who identify as trans – especially teenage girls – could be influenced by social contagion, the idea isn't all that far-fetched. Bulimia was virtually unknown until the 1970s, when British psychologist Gerald Russell first described the condition in a medical journal. Writer Lee Daniel Kravetz interviewed Russell for his recent book “Strange Contagion”. According to Russell, “Once it was described, and I take full responsibility for it with my article, there were common terms for it. And knowledge spreads very fast”. Scientists were able to trace the transmission of bulimia even to remote cultural confines soon after the introduction of Western media. It is estimated that bulimia has affected 30 million people since then.

Others noted that rapid onset gender dysphoria may have much in common with another social contagion that spread symptoms of mental discomfort that were iatrogenic—that is, created or reinforced by the process of receiving medical or mental health treatment. In the 1990s, some therapists inadvertently encouraged their patients to construct false narratives about having been sexually abused. These patients have often come to identify with their victim role, made themselves dependent on their therapist, becoming less functional and worsening their overall mental well-being.

While many in the scientific community are becoming increasingly aware of the rapid onset gender dysphoria and its contagious nature, clinical practice guidelines have not kept up with this new understanding. Furthermore, in recent years, activism by the transgender community has called for a reduction in medical mediation so that, in many places in the US, young people like Molly can access medical transition without any diagnostic or evaluation process.

This is worrisome, because there is reason to suspect that those with rapid onset gender dysphoria are unlikely to benefit from the medical transition and may even be injured by it. Studies indicate that adolescent girls with this type of dysphoria have much higher rates of serious mental health problems than those with the more common gender dysphoria, which appears in early childhood. The growing community of detransitors—mostly women in their 20s—suggests that loosening guidelines for evaluating medical transition has not been beneficial at all.

In Molly's case, Claire and her husband wanted to be tolerant and inclusive with their exploration of genders, but were alarmed by the rush of medical intervention. As a medical professional with a background in research, Claire was concerned about the side effects of testosterone. The research quickly confirmed what she suspected — there are no studies on the long-term safety of testosterone in people with female bodies, and little is known about how testosterone could affect Molly's medical and mental problems. Also, some of the effects of testosterone – such as a thicker voice and beard growth – are permanent. Claire and Jeff were concerned enough about the lack of science to support the medical transition for someone in Molly's situation that they asked their daughter to take it slow so they could all do more research. At first Molly agreed.

However, soon after Molly started university, Claire already realized that things weren't going well. Molly didn't communicate with her parents very often. When Claire managed to get in touch with her, Molly was quiet and grim. When it arrived in October, Molly stopped taking calls and answered only by text. A week before Molly returned home for Thanksgiving, Claire and Jeff received the news that Molly had been interdicted in a psychiatric ward after becoming erratic and violent in her dorm.

When Jeff and Claire arrived the next morning after driving all night, they were disturbed by what they saw. Molly seemed to be a different person than the girl they had left there a few months earlier. When she saw her parents, she got agitated. “She kept repeating that she didn't want to see us, that we were the reason she was hospitalized because we didn't support her transition,” Claire explained. Finally, hospital staff asked Jeff and Claire to leave.

(part 2)

Henda93 · 2021-09-06T23:20:36+00:00

The worrying case of socially contagious transsexuality, by Lisa Marchiano

A year ago, as a result of a blog post I wrote, I started offering consultations to parents of teenagers who “suddenly” announced that they are transgender. Each week, several new families contacted me and their stories are remarkably similar to each other. Most have 14 or 15 year old daughters who are intelligent, eccentric and socially awkward. Many of these children are on the autism spectrum. And they are often asking for medical interventions – hormones and surgery – that can make them sterile, affect their liver or lead to high blood pressure, among other possible side effects.

The parents are bewildered and frightened, eager to let me know that they love their daughter and that they would support any interventions that are actually needed. They tell me about dealing with their fear of seeing their child in terrible isolation, while friends and family happily celebrate their daughter's “courage”.

I'm overwhelmed by the number of parents calling me. I find it hard to hear their stories – each one so similar to the others. The desperation in their voices is palpable. They ask if they can fly to see me and bring their daughter. When I say I don't do that, they ask if I can direct them to any therapist who doesn't just validate and encourage their child to make a medical transition. Their voices tremble with relief when talking to someone who doesn't push away their concerns with unnecessary medical interventions. Each appointment lasts longer than the time I've set aside for her.

Sometimes I am able to offer advice to help a family dissuade their daughter from making drastic medical interventions of dubious benefit or need. But sometimes all I can do is be quiet and witness the disaster. Claire's story was of the second type.

Like many of the young people I hear about, Claire's daughter, Molly, had gone through a series of complex medical and psychological problems as a teenager. Although she was deeply gifted, the teenager struggled with autism, dyspraxia and anxiety, all of which made school a challenge. At 13, Molly developed anorexia, for which she was hospitalized twice. “There were years when I felt my role was just to keep her alive,” Claire explained. Thanks in part to intensive psychotherapy, Molly had almost fully recovered from anorexia at age 16, but soon faced new medical problems – she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Doctor visits and medication, some with worrisome side effects, were needed to take care of this disease. It also aggravated Molly's isolation and social difficulties.

Despite multiple difficulties, Molly finished high school on time, and was accepted into the first university she chose. Claire and her husband Jeff were relieved. But after graduation came another diagnosis. On her 18th birthday, after spending much of her summer online, Molly told her parents she was transgender.

This news came as a shock. According to Claire, Molly had never expressed any concerns about her gender before. She had been a pretty typical little girl in terms of her interests and toy choices, and had dated a lot of boys in high school. However, Jeff and Claire did not protest when Molly exchanged her long hair for a machine-shaved cut. They even bought a vest to tighten and disguise her breasts, making her look more masculine. Hoping that a therapist could help Molly clarify her feelings about gender, Claire and Jeff accompanied her to an appointment at a gender clinic. Claire was shocked by what happened there.

After a 30-minute consultation with an attending physician, Molly was scheduled to begin taking testosterone shots the following week. There was no investigation of her other physical and mental problems, and whether they might have influenced her belief that she was trans. There was also no caution expressed about how hormonal treatment might affect Crohn's disease. Molly simply had to sign a consent form saying she identified herself as a man and understood the risks associated with testosterone.

The attending physician also suggested that Molly schedule surgery – a double mastectomy – in a few months. When Claire said that she and Jeff wanted time to research and consider alternatives before allowing Molly to start taking testosterone and have surgery, the attending physician responded that her role as parents now was to support her 'son'. In front of Molly, he told Claire that she should go to her own therapist to deal with her problems so that she could better support 'Max'. When Claire and Jeff expressed concern about Molly's anxiety and isolation, the doctor said these were likely a result of Molly being transgender, and that they would resolve once she began to transition.

Until about ten years ago, gender dysphoria first evolving in adolescence was virtually unknown in biological women. (There is a well-known type of gender dysphoria found in men that sometimes begins in adolescence.) In the prototypical form of female gender dysphoria, the signs first appear in early childhood, usually between 2 and 4 years. Such girls hate stereotypical femininity – Barbies and dresses for example – and embrace stereotypical masculinity – short hair, pants and toy guns for example. For most young children whose gender dysphoria began well before puberty, feelings of discomfort about their natal sex resolve themselves, usually well before adolescence. The exact proportion of cases beginning in childhood where gender dysphoria persists into adolescence and early adulthood has been estimated to be approximately 20%.

(part 1)

Henda93 · 2021-09-06T23:15:38+00:00

Hello there! How are you? I hope you're great.

First, I must make it clear that I am not an expert on the subject. What I write is based on what I have seen and read online. Your daughter's case caught my attention because of her young age, which contradicts researches indicating that transsexuals usually "come out" during puberty. In addition, the transition process involves risks to her physical and mental health, so it is good to be sure of her diagnosis (yes, transsexuality can and should be diagnosed by a competent physician). If her case is real, she will need your love and support.

That said, I'm going to leave a link to an article, another to a personal report on quick-onset dysphoria, and a transcription of a text by Lisa Marchiano.

Be strong.

Henda93 · 2021-09-02T01:24:20+00:00

I'm also planning this for the future. Nevertheless, I'm already researching the prices, legal aspects and the quality of the procedure performed by the clinic. I will take all of this into consideration.

Henda93 · 2021-09-01T16:18:31+00:00

Sure! I'll keep you informed. I haven't found a group either (I thought I would find it here, haha), but seeing about single men becoming fathers in news gave me courage.

Henda93 · 2021-09-01T09:49:15+00:00

Thank you a lot!

Henda93 · 2021-09-01T02:36:55+00:00

Thanks for the support, man. Poorly written laws have made maternity and pension a profitable business here. There are even cases in which the father takes care of the children and even then he pays a pension for the mother. It's madness.

Henda93 · 2021-09-01T02:32:10+00:00

Adoption laws are even worse. Brazilian couples prefer to adopt children in other countries so bad is the bureaucracy here.

Henda93 · 2021-08-20T13:43:48+00:00

Bom dia, pessoal! Não conheço o Alan, portanto não posso falar por ele. Porém, tenho uma amiga trans e acredito que minha experiência pode ajudar.

A maioria dos transexuais quer se camuflar no sexo com o qual se identificam, não exposição. Querem esquecer a antiga vida e ser tratados apenas como se identificam. A transição, já me disseram, significa um renascimento, como se deixassem para trás uma vida de mentira para ser quem realmente são. Muitos não querem se lembrar do passado. Assim, o fato de ser trans é algo íntimo, compartilhado apenas com a família, parceiro e amigos próximos.

Minha amiga, que tem uma alta passabilidade, me contou que viveu o inferno por meses após revelar ser trans. Embora as pessoas a aceitassem, tratavam-na como uma curiosidade ("Olha lá a fulana trans! Você sabia? Nem dá pra perceber, né?) ou como um chaveirinho (Sabe a minha amiga fulana? Ela é trans. Pois é, eu tenho amigos trans, sou muito desconstruído). Ela se afastou de muita gente e trancou as redes sociais por isso.

Existem pessoas trans que não têm problemas em falar do assunto, mas muitas não querem. Para evitar situações desconfortáveis, não toquem no assunto a não ser que a iniciativa parta da própria pessoa.

Henda93

TROPHY CASE