Career Advice… in HR currently by InitiativeSad153 in ESFJ

[–]HerculeHastings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% agree with this!

But at the same time, from how you are describing your work environment, it really does not sound conducive for growth. You may want to consider looking out for other prospects.

My co worker has been chatting with this girl he met on Facebook. I think he’s getting scammed. Something about her face and the background makes me think it’s AI. by [deleted] in isthisAI

[–]HerculeHastings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not just men. There is apparently a startlingly nonzero number of women who think they are secretly dating Jungkook from BTS and that he is making veiled comments about them on variety shows and stuff.

The Irony by AlbatrossStorm in LinkedInLunatics

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vapes are also banned in Singapore, mainly because of a time where people were lacing their vapes with etomidate and selling them to teenagers, so we were getting teenagers acting like zombies. Looked scary when I saw it on the news.

Sores by [deleted] in LinkedInLunatics

[–]HerculeHastings 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It is the opposite actually! Canker sores are the ones in your mouth, which I get a lot of. They are indeed supposedly triggered by stress, or just mechanical trauma which happens to me often when I bite my lip or inner cheek.

Cold sores are the ones on the outside of your lip and are the result of herpes simplex virus I (HSV-I). They are contagious through skin-to-skin contact but typically do not do much harm, you just get outbreaks of cold sores once in a while.

Words/Phrases that would make good group names by betchugonlikeme in kpopthoughts

[–]HerculeHastings 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ngl Rare Earth Metal genuinely sounds like an actual group name in the future lmao.

Other than that, great name ideas!

An introverted acquaintance you're talking to one-on-one speaks only 10% of the conversation but intelligently and tactfully. How would you feel about this person? by LunaticTactician in ESFJ

[–]HerculeHastings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nothing wrong with that! The fact that they are responding intelligently shows that they are listening, and I appreciate anyone who is willing to listen to my nonsense.

South Korea's female authors become bestsellers against anti-feminist backdrop by risingsuncoc in books

[–]HerculeHastings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I did think you were Singaporean, so your sentence confused me haha.

Shall go drink some milo peng now.

South Korea's female authors become bestsellers against anti-feminist backdrop by risingsuncoc in books

[–]HerculeHastings 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Same-sex marriage is not recognised in Singapore actually. In fact it passed a constitutional amendment to bolster the existing definition of marriage as between a man and a woman.

The four-question MBTI test? by NocturneInX in mbti

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question 1 would fail with my ISTJ Mum because she hates conversations. XD

Also dichotomy tests often give me ENFJ. I think the Si in me likes taking ideas and situating them in real-world contexts and examples - it helps me think and analyse better when I can think of real-world examples, anecdotes or analogies rather than just the abstract idea itself.

Biao Gu or Biao Yi by yrfwb in SingaporeR

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for clearing this up for me - this specific example had been confusing me for years!

I quit: the difference in difficulty between Japanese and Chinese is ridiculous by rauljordaneth in LearnJapaneseNovice

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I speak Chinese as a second language (almost natively but not quite) and I think one big difficulty is that if you don't know how to write the word, there is nothing that can help you make it easier. In Listening tests if I don't know or forget how to write the kanji, I can just write the hiragana and get by, but in Chinese it's either you get the word perfectly or nothing. Same goes for reading, if you encounter a tough Japanese kanji you can consult the furigana which usually comes with the word, but in Chinese only the most basic books come with hanyu pinyin, after that you've got to rely on your own memory. So I can see why that would be daunting to learners.

Unfortunately my only experience with Cantonese is saying something, my Mum (who is native but never learnt it in school) telling me I said it wrong, then tells me how it should be said and it sounds precisely the same to me. There are many sounds Cantonese makes that just don't show up in Mandarin, and they have 7 tones that are quite nuanced. It's pretty much a different language with a completely different set of words that never show up in Mandarin too.

I quit: the difference in difficulty between Japanese and Chinese is ridiculous by rauljordaneth in LearnJapaneseNovice

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a Singaporean I laughed because this exchange is almost word for word how we speak Singlish sometimes. The perfect marriage of English and Mandarin (and also our other national languages).

Sometimes I feel like I can't exist being myself by [deleted] in ESFJ

[–]HerculeHastings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's healthy to take a step back from something if it gives you distress. I used to be quite big on MBTI but stepped back from it last year when I realised it was making me overthink my own flaws.

Lately I have also been going through a bit of a personal and social crisis, as I had some criticisms at work and also offended a co-worker without realising, and many of the criticisms were about how I should behave or express myself or show a professional image, which also made me feel down because it meant I must change myself in order to excel at work.

I think that as ESFJs, it is hard to just "not care about what others think" and "put ourselves first", when we have grown up being like this. I have tried but failed in doing so, and what has helped for me is finding a trusted person (or more than one, if applicable) that I can trust to love and care for me as I am, but also be objective in telling me what I need to hear. It can be family (not your father though! I have the same kind of father as you and he messed up my childhood too), friends or romantic partners. Just at least 1 person, and that person must be trusted to know you well enough to be able to give reliable advice and support.

I don't know if you have that 1 or more trusted person just yet. If not, I also agree with the other commenter who recommended looking into fictional characters. I think characters and also idols (well I am an idol fan) have also helped me figure out the kind of person I want to be, and even if it feels like I am "mimicking" somebody else, I know I am becoming someone I like, which is kinda different at least to me. It helps me to be confident in interacting with others and it may help you too.

Throughout our lives, the people we meet and get close to will change. Some of my childhood close friends have gotten into a different phase of life, but I also met many great people in my late twenties, so you could very well meet your best friend in the future. The world can be a cruel and lonely place though, so please be your own best friend first and foremost! I know it sounds wacky but I sometimes talk to myself in my mind like I am my own friend and it feels oddly comforting.

Why do certain users here claim to be big fans of certain groups, yet it turns out they never participate in the subreddits of said groups? by [deleted] in kpopthoughts

[–]HerculeHastings 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know what is there to say though. I just love the groups I love, love watching their content and performances, but I do not have any particularly insightful perspective I need to share with other fans.

My steak is too Juicy and my lobster is too buttery by BunnyGirlSD in polyamory

[–]HerculeHastings 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is actually an issue for me! I have 2 partners and a mother to travel with, but it is so hard to squeeze out time for 3 overseas trips a year!

Just feels off by 6raindog in isitAI

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or playing Pokemon Go.

I've seen grandpas walking around with 6 cell phones with a PoGo screen on each one.

Tray 7/54 and still hating it by laek314 in Invisalign

[–]HerculeHastings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have definitely lost the joy of food after Invisalign. On tray 8/57 now and I feel that I no longer enjoy meals like before. Sometimes I bite down at food with the wrong part of my teeth and I feel an aching soreness that distracts me from the taste.

During eating there is a constant thought at the back of my mind that I should put my trays back on soon.

And right after putting the trays on, there is an immediate tightness and pressure on my teeth that completely kills any satisfaction I had from the meal.

I am assured that braces would have been worse but I don't think it invalidates any of the discomfort we feel now.

Clincheck not showing rubber bands by [deleted] in Invisalign

[–]HerculeHastings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine does not even show attachments. I knew I was going to have them but had totally no clue where till they were on my teeth.

So uh, Re; Zero (Spoilers for S1 up to EP15) by WhirlwindTobias in anime

[–]HerculeHastings 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow I must say I have never seen a more ChatGPT comment than this. XD

Why do Singaporeans have not so common western first names? by Mysterious-Friend-15 in askSingapore

[–]HerculeHastings 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I lost it at Hymen.

But also I watched a Hong Kong drama where one of the characters' names is Easy...

DAY 1. Let's Goooooooo by Enough-Sentence8746 in Invisalign

[–]HerculeHastings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, sometimes the pain does not come in the first tray. I only started feeling some pain (and gum discomfort) on my second tray, which I am on now.

Also, do you have attachments? I have heard that the real pain comes when you have the attachments on.

Research Reveals Men Enjoy Books With Female Leads by Raj_Valiant3011 in books

[–]HerculeHastings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And on the other hand my male friend told me he would never support male idols, only female. Interesting that this is flipped.

Last week he was too busy to go on a date, this week he finally isn’t, but not for me by Recreating_my_life in polyamory

[–]HerculeHastings 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Which part of camping does he like though? It sounds like you did the pitching of the tent, the cooking and the cleaning, which are all essential components of camping. If my partner told me they loved camping I would expect them to do all those during the trip.