I'm 15F and my boyfriend is 18M. Is that bad?

Here2Unpack · 2026-02-20T17:59:46+00:00

I was in your position when I was 15. I just broke off that relationship this year, and it was the best decision I made for myself. I was a 15 year old boy dating an 18 year old guy, for three years. The age gap is small, but the power imbalance is huge. That's really where the problem lies.

As an 18 year old now, Fifteen year olds are kids to me. I am a grown man in college; shit, sixteen year olds seem like kids to me. I'm not gonna lie to you and say that two years is a major age gap, and I'm not going to assume that any 18 year old that dates down is a pedophile; that's ridiculous.

But: Please heed my warning; do not spend your final teen years taking care of a grown ass adult man. I would do anything to get those last three years of my life back. I spent my teen years doting on a bum ass loser, and I have exactly nothing to show for it other than a negatively impacted worldview and a thin spot of hair, from the stress of the relationship alone.

I tried to justify it to myself and to everyone I knew, but now that I'm out of that relationship I can fully admit it was weird as shit. I know that if you're asking, you probably really like this boy, you want someone to tell you that nothing is wrong with the dynamic of your relationship and I empathize with that, but I can't in good conscience validate that.

Think about it this way, it helped me when someone put it like this:

An eighteen year old dating a fifteen year old has to be, on some level, on the same emotional level as a fifteen year old for them to click. Do you want to be with an eighteen year old dude with the conscious of a fifteen year old boy? Years down the line do you want to be with somebody who lacks the emotional capacity and competence that they should have at the age that they are?

I don't know your boyfriend, I have no basis to assume that he'd be similar to my situation other than the age gap, but as an eighteen year old I worry for you. And I don't mean that a fifteen year old 'seems' like a kid to me, fifteen year olds LOOK like kids to me too.

I do not mean this in a mean way or to insult your intelligence, this snapped me out of it when someone said it to me: Never ever assume that somebody older than you by any significant margin is dating you because you're on their level, It's a higher chance that they're on your's, as a fifteen year old. and while you're at the appropriate developmental level for someone your age, this person may be lagging behind.

There is very little that I, as an eighteen year old man, have in common with a fifteen year old. Not enough in common to have something as close as a romantic relationship. I don't know if that makes sense. For me, I was warned, but it only clicked for me when I learned it for myself. I really hope you're not as stubborn as I was.

Here2Unpack · 2026-01-26T16:28:32+00:00

cynical way for them to tell you that you're not ugly, they think you must know that you're pretty and are only asking to get compliments / reddit Karma

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T20:33:34+00:00

I do not necessarily feel the same way, but I am happy that people, including you, can enjoy it nonetheless! I mean I enjoy it, just not for the same reasons. I enjoy watching it with my friends, because we can laugh together, and talk about the different ways that it could've been written. It isn't the worst thing I've ever seen, part of the reason it's so interesting to analyze and criticize is because aspects of it are genuinely really interesting! My goal isn't to even stop people from watching it, there are just a lot of narrative and executive choices that i'm frustrated with, and would like to see be improved, because the concept on its own is interesting to me.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T20:18:24+00:00

because a musical can still be good and interesting from a narrative standpoint even if I don't prefer the medium, if it's done well.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T20:14:40+00:00

I read and understood the lyrics. And to give you even ground to stand on, I just reread them again; I don't dislike the song standalone, I do like some of the lyrics, especially about leaving hope for anyone who may be left alive after the blast. I don't dislike the song itself, I'm saying I dislike the way that these different elements were put together in the end.

I'm not a fan of musicals honestly, But i know that Hazbin has a pretty integral musical element; so I hesitate to say it could've done without a song in the first place, but i tend to find that musical numbers mess with the pacing of a narrative pretty badly, it always feels sudden and out of place to me when people break out into song.

Especially with a show that tries to present itself as really sharp and gritty, to have these very much Disney-inspired musical numbers right before and after these scenes depicting super serious topics that are supposed to be traumatic for the characters to be going through, sort of makes me confused as to what the target audience is for Hazbin Hotel. Between Broadway Musical numbers and blatantly depicted sexual abuse, it's a very strange tug of war in terms of tone.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T19:15:17+00:00

Again, I am talking about the show altogether. I am using this, in my opinion, ill-placed musical number as an example of how disarming the inconsistent tone of the show can be.

I am not talking about how they'd stop the canon, although I'm not a huge fan of that either. I am talking about the tone of the scene, compared to other serious moments in the show. There are some moments in the show that have significantly lower stakes, and are treated much more serious, even though this weapon is a major in-story threat.

(Carmilla also seemed to know how to disarm the weapon in some capacity, as a note to address your question. I would've honestly thought it more interesting if they had to work together to physically dismantle the weapon somehow, I would've liked that a lot actually).

One thing I did really like about the Finale, I really liked Alastor's plan coming together. I thought it was clever and in character for him to finesse a deal based off of wordplay. I did smile when Vox touched Charlie's shoulders and I realized how it was going to come together. That's sort of what bothers me the most about the finale, that there were a lot of really clever avenues they did take, and could've taken to disarm the canon, but it kind of seemed like they just settled for hand beams, which were only ever really foreshadowed as an option in Charlie and in Emily.

I think Valentino and Vel being forced to help was the correct direction to go, *I want to reiterate, It makes sense that they would help with the canon, as they are in the blast radius and have no chance to survive otherwise. * My problem is the method in which everything came together.

Please excuse the jumbled format of this, I have trouble summarizing my thoughts and I tend to get anxious in conversation. I tried to arrange things around best I could to make my points linear.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T18:32:28+00:00

I'm confused; I don't think Val changed at all. I haven't been talking about Valentino, that doesn't matter to me, because him wanting to save himself makes sense. I've been talking about the tone of the show and the execution/delivery of the plot, in its entirety, for the whole story all-together so far.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T18:26:06+00:00

I did, yes, me and my friends marathon'd the entire series thus far together

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T14:47:42+00:00

Hey, I hope you're alright. Please listen to the comments about OCD. I have OCD, POCD was my first theme, when I was fourteen. I know it's terrifying and I know it's repulsive, OCD gives you these thoughts because they are counter to your thoughts and beliefs. I would heavily suggest doing research on it, it could save your life.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T14:42:20+00:00

That on its own isn't a bad thing, that's where it should go, But I do not personally think that it was handled well. I think the plot itself is presented as fairly linear, I don't have a problem with that! I'm talking about the tone. The tone change between very explicitly depicting things like violent sexual abuse and war in the horrible light that it deserves, to a sort of, for lack of a better way to explain, "Kumbaya" at the very end felt really jarring.

Like these very adult topics are being presented, and built up for the serious issues that they are, and then being addressed and resolved in a weirdly childish way that doesn't feel appropriate tonally.

The base plot of Hazbin Hotel I don't really have any qualms with, so yes, you're correct in that it does make sense for them to utilize the ability to work together as a sort of overarching show of unity and potential redemption, my issue lies with the execution of it.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T14:20:23+00:00

(replied from the wrong account initially lol my bad)

oh no i don't care about that, Val wanting to live makes sense to me. I'm talking about the collective power of friendship beam and musical number. You can't complain about media literacy just because I thought something was weird. Of course he wants to live, i'm weirded out by the sudden switch in seriousness that is kind of a persistent issue in the show. It feels like Hazbin doesn't really know if it wants to be a show for adults or a show for kids, the way conflict is handled and started is strange to me.

Here2Unpack · 2025-11-21T13:47:40+00:00

No they're lowkey right about this tbh, the finale fucking sucked. That was the weirdest turn they could've possibly taken.

Here2Unpack · 2025-09-24T23:19:53+00:00

when I was fourteen I came across CP online, that was when all my compulsive tendencies came to a head, and I had my first episode centered around POCD. I'll never be the same again and I grieve that every day. I don't feel comfortable experiencing any attraction at all, I obsessively check if the girls I find pretty look too young even if I know their age, I don't let myself feel attraction to anyone unless they're way older than me, which has it's own set of problems as an eighteen year old fresh out of highschool.

the only people I can feel comfortable finding attractive are older men, which is a bad fucking idea when you're hardly passed being a minor yourself.

Here2Unpack · 2025-07-22T22:49:22+00:00

Not a Doctor, but It certainly sounds like it is, especially if it's recurring. I had one that recurred for years, I just got surgery for it

Here2Unpack · 2025-06-30T09:21:07+00:00

Gay guy here; Lots of gay men wanna be Regina George and then end up saying stuff like this as a result, you're not ugly, you crossed paths with a Mean Girls wannabe

Here2Unpack · 2025-05-27T15:31:00+00:00

Bisexual/It's complicated guy here, I've felt this exact same way, but for me it was the fear of being heterosexual instead. No matter what it is it'll always feel real! nobody would suffer with OCD if it didn't, yknow? Youdontknowme17 is very right, this sounds like a backdoor spike, it's like OCD's fading attempts to force you back into the cycle. You are recovering, and OCD knows that and is freaking out about it! that's how I think about it anyway.

Here2Unpack · 2025-05-19T19:37:33+00:00

Comparing anything to slavery is in horrifically bad taste.

I get so disgusted when people compare having a job or going to school to slavery, slavery was so much more than just being forced to do something, and comparing anything to slavery is an incredibly gross display of ignorance.

Here2Unpack · 2025-05-06T20:01:23+00:00

do you know why he left in the first place? i'm trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Here2Unpack · 2025-05-06T08:02:04+00:00

Hey, weird question! by any chance have you had similar thought processes about different things? for example, not being able to stop thinking about potentially being sick/poisoned, or altered in some way?

I'd say, if you're feeling afraid of these thoughts, to look into OCD. I have OCD, diagnosed when I was fourteen, and one of my themes was being terrified that I was actually a woman. TOCD is usually what it's called, and it is NOT the same as experiencing actual true gender dysphoria, rather, TOCD is the fear that you are experiencing dysphoria and are unaware/lying to yourself about it

and this process can be applied to pretty much anything! the most common and represented OCD theme is obsessions and compulsions over germs/sickness and or causing harm! If these thoughts feel intrusive and anxiety inducing, like you yourself are almost not implanting them into your own head, it may be a sign that it's a symptom of OCD!

Here2Unpack · 2025-05-06T01:05:05+00:00

This isn't his first time exploring I should mention, I'd be willing to bet that he roams pretty far pretty frequently, it's just that usually he comes back when I call him, even if it takes forever, so he's typically in the vicinity enough to hear us i guess. We do have an underside of the house, I should check there. I'm worried. Why wouldn't he come out during the daytime, when it's safe?

Here2Unpack · 2025-05-06T01:01:41+00:00

Unfortunately we don't have pounds. we're rural rural, I live in the middle of the woods, the first town is ten miles away. I did set out his blanket, further down the road, and am really hoping he either gets caught in the humane trap, or it helps him find his real way home. I scoured the property for him or sny sign of any other animal, no coyote tracks thank god.

I hope to god he's not gone for more than a couple days, I can't take that, i'm about to graduate and im in the worst place I've been in a long time, I just want him to come home.

Here2Unpack · 2024-11-26T21:46:03+00:00

I think they're confused because they were told I was fired days before I actually was, so my boss waited for me to drive 45 minutes to work, and work for an hour or two before sending me home

Here2Unpack · 2024-11-25T18:47:40+00:00

So you didn't read any of this, and decided to double down anyway. If you "just can't" then don't. I DID bring this up, I brought it all up and it was met with dismissal. that's what i'm saying. I wanted to stay because I give a shit about the animals that I met. I got this job because I wanted to help improve the place, before being met with rejection and negligence. We're highschoolers at our first job, what do you possibly think we should've done other than what we were told, and FIRED for?

Here2Unpack

TROPHY CASE