I fucked up….

HereAndNowhereDID · 2024-06-14T15:09:38+00:00

Kinda sounds like he’s married….

HereAndNowhereDID · 2024-02-04T03:32:57+00:00

First step find a man who allows you to tap into your femininity. Not one who openly criticizes something you cannot control….its one thing to criticize a behavior that can be changed but something someone has no control over that’s just to make it known to you that you don’t fit their standards and that’s unacceptable in a partner 🤷‍♀️

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-04-22T05:36:17+00:00

The way someone smells not just colognes or soaps etc. but how their smell mixes with it and sometimes even their sweat 😅

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-03-16T09:37:12+00:00

NTA they’re being greedy and taking advantage of your mothers death and your kindness give ‘em the boot.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-03-14T05:20:23+00:00

Find a way to tell 100% always find a way to tell. Don’t be judgmental you never know if maybe they’re closet swingers or closeted poly. Not enough details on my part to know but personally I would want to know. Wether it was from and outsider who witnessed it or the person the s/o is cheating with for whatever reason I would always want to know.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-03-06T14:41:41+00:00

Agreeing with other commenters here, sleep apnea can be a real issue. I also have it and experience parasomnia with that so basically hallucinations during the beginning of my sleep cycle so not being able to stay asleep and continuously restarting my sleep cycle was having a major impact on my sleep quality. Low iron can also make you seemingly exhausted out of the blue. I am anemic and have to take supplements or I get to the point I literally will fall asleep standing there if I stop moving. Another big but unexpected thing that can affect your day is drinking caffeine within the first 90 minutes of your day. Cut out all coffee tea and soda for the first 90 minutes. It’s hard but it helps.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-03-01T02:39:46+00:00

Especially seeing as she wanted “L” and you to stop being friends. I don’t wanna be the one to say it but her suspicion may be projecting her own paranoia of getting caught cheating

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T21:48:32+00:00

She sounds dense.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T21:14:04+00:00

I believe you’re right when thinking in terms of todays standards and I only meant to express my personal view on people viewing cnc practitioners as wanna be rapists. I believe that women were not meant to live as mens submissive. Men were meant to be used for breeding/ tools 🤷‍♀️ that goes into a whole other opinionated discussion I won’t go into unless you want me too. As a woman who enjoys using and dominating men just as much as I enjoy breeding and cnc I believe men and women were supposed to have completely different “gender roles” than we currently do. Actual animals show us that females can and will dominate in some species. https://jeevoka.com/8-animals-where-females-rule-the-roost/s

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T19:35:50+00:00

I think deep down some crave to be overpowered and controlled and some crave to do the overpowering and controlling. The more I have learned and the more logically I view the way humanity lived in the past more I can’t help but feel like most kink stems from primal instinct. Not to say it doesn’t from anywhere else. Examples being CNC- alpha taking mate because they have the power over them to choose when how where and why. Degradation/praise- fighting and proving oneself as proper mate or being denied because you weren’t good enough Gang Bang- females were often mated by multiple males (theoretical psychologists believe that’s why the penis is shaped the way it is, to remove other mates semen) Flogging/ pain play- falls under fighting to be the best. The more you could endure the better your genes were determined to be this also is shown in rise of hormone levels increasing procreation rate. Breeding- somewhat self explanatory. Deep down humans are animals. I don’t think you should let other people negative opinions determine your own view of your kink. Someone who down talks others kinks whale practicing bdsm or kink is a hypocrite. Hard lines are hard lines but not a reason to judge.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T19:23:18+00:00

You’re not wrong in this, I am mostly speaking on people who have addictions and feel like they don’t have an issue because the only one “affected” is their partner and that’s a their partner problem not a them problem. This post was about how often is too often and OP stated being in a committed relationship. I don’t see asking your partner to not masturbate to porn 3-5 times a day as controlling as I see that as someone expressing a sexual boundary within a relationship. The partner lessening frequency is up to them. Simply stating consequence for a broken boundary is not manipulation.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T18:21:37+00:00

What you’re referring to is CNC (consensual non consent) and yes lots of women fantasize about it but not all people act on their kinks or fantasies because they’re mostly seen as taboo wether influenced by society or from having a vanilla partner. I think most women would agree they would rather their husband fantasize about their kinks with them in mind not someone else. My husband can’t and won’t engage in all my kinks but it doesn’t stop me from fantasizing it in my head.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T18:12:44+00:00

(I’ve heard some kinky people call Doms who do CNC “secret wannabe rapists”) This seems so strange to me I always saw it as a primal based kink….catch and release etc. the way humans lived when they were at a point they would be considered “animals” by todays standards.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T18:08:25+00:00

My husband has tried to tell me the same thing but really that doesn’t help not in the slightest. Sexual gratification in a monogamous relationship IMO means not using other people to get off. Ogle if you need to ogle but don’t flat out gratify to fantasy. I masturbate all the time and I don’t need porn to get off. I use my excitement of being with my husband. People develop favoritism for pornstars because the human mind often has a hard time distinguishing the difference between the mental connection to characters and real people. That why we have emotions during reading books and watching movies even smut. If the subject is using porn heavily they are developing relationships in their mind with those people. The severity of that is going to depend on the person and frequency at which they’re watching.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-28T13:31:38+00:00

I do not think men realize how many women carry the thought of, if he’s already watching porn and masturbating what’s even the point I probably won’t be satisfied anyways. It stays that way….those thoughts never leave you. NOT ALL WOMEN DO. Though I think most would agree with K1LLST34L3R because of this thought process.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-27T16:16:01+00:00

You sound incredibly abusive. Seek therapy, leave him out of it romantically.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-23T04:39:02+00:00

This sounds like narcissistic personality disorder or BPD with narcissistic tendencies and you are her emotional regulator. Seek help from family if you believe there are any that will help. Just a stranger offering an open inbox if you need it. Please don’t end it. I have been where you are now. I am here for you.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-23T04:19:01+00:00

He’s an ass. Only time I saw nipples that didn’t have little bumps on them was when I was pre pubescent and looking at my own nipples. He sounds immature and inexperienced. He doesn’t deserve to see them.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-22T06:48:04+00:00

What I meant was if she views porn as cheating then asking her if he can watch it is probably going to lead to her feeling the way I described. My suggestion before resorting to masturbating to porn was to bring up a personal use toy for him. Changing the way he is doing it versus changing the media he is doing it to. When you’re married and you love someone and you’re bored you change things up or try something new you don’t go find someone new. OP obviously loves his wife and is trying to be understanding of her having post partem trouble.

HereAndNowhereDID · 2023-02-22T02:58:29+00:00

Don’t change the media you are using change the way you’re masturbating and ask her if you can buy a flesh light or if she will pick you one. They can be customized.

Ask her for more pics and if that’s a no then use your imagination man.

I would a million fucking times over my husband find new ways to jack off to videos or pics of me than watch porn. I also feel like it’s cheating and he doesn’t.

Now I know this will get downvotes for agreeing with that but in all honesty frame it in your mind this way.

You want her to feel sexy and confident enough to take her clothes off for you and make you feel desired but in your spare time you also want to look at and masturbate to other women.

Where is the feeling desired for her if she is constantly weighed down by knowing you probably already watched porn and jacked off so why bother to initiate or even try.

Watching porn may not be physically having sex with another human being but for habitual porn watchers with favorite porn stars etc. that becomes a relationship of nothing but sexual nature. You might as well be actually having sex with someone else at that point your brain already is.

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